Honored Contributor
Posts: 16,471
Registered: ‎03-13-2010

Recent hair trimming experience and seeking your opinion and advice

I just went for a trim --- your basic snip off the ends all over and bangs trims.  I wear my hair about as basic as you can get.  No layers -- all one length and bangs.  I am in the process of letting my hair color grow out.  I have colored it blonde for years and now my color is partly salt and pepper.  I never blow dry except for my bangs and don't abuse my hair.


I realize that since I have gotten older (66), my hair has thinned and is more fragile, due to aging, medications, hair coloring, etc.  It is somewhat dry (not horribly so) and tends to frizz.  I always use shampoo and conditioner for moisture and frizz and treat my hair carefully.  


What I am getting at is --- my hair is far from perfect but I don't think it is in horrible condition.  Could it be better?  Of course!


Any how --- here is the scenario.  I went to the place to get my trim.  Same place I've been going for probably a year.  Its one of those chain places in the mall.  I got a nice very young lady and she was very pleasant and talkative.  After washing my hair, she proceeded to tell me how damaged and traumatized my hair was and if she were me she would never, ever color my hair again or use any irons or other electric appliances on it.  That I needed to immediately use deep conditioners, etc.  That also, if she were me, she would cut my hair mostly off.  She said -- I can't believe how frizzy your hair is!  As I said, I have always had an issue with this but use products for it and when I got to the salons, they always make it look very good.  So, I felt this day, the frizz issue was something she had done or used.  


I was to say the least --- really shocked!  She didn't say any of the above in a mean way but I was just speechless by all that she had said.  I had not really solicited any of this advice.  Other than to say that I had colored my hair my whole life and that yes, with age, health factors, etc. my hair had begun to thin somewhat and was not as healthy as it once was.  I said that I was considering letting it all grow out color-wise and perhaps some day coloring it again.  


How would you all have felt?  I left there feeling so bad about my hair and myself, I felt like sitting down and crying!  I went home and told DH and he was like --- What????  He looked at me and said -- your hair looks beautiful.  What in the heck (although he didn't say that word) is she talking about???  


I guess she was trying to help and offer what she felt was constructive criticisim.  She also suggested several products which I politely declined.  Perhaps she was just trying to shame me into buying products?  I don't know.  Smiley Sad  As I said, I know my hair is far from prefect and I have been undecided about what I want to do with it regarding style, cut, etc.  But this really floored me and did nothing at all for my confidence.


Now for the advice part --- what do you think I should use for aging, somewhat dry, frizzy prone and fragile hair to make it look more healthy? 


I know this is long and I thank you all for reading! 

"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night." - Steve Martin
Honored Contributor
Posts: 20,318
Registered: ‎10-04-2010

Re: Recent hair trimming experience and seeking your opinion and advice

You know what?  My bet is that she just got hounded to sell, sell, sell, the products they have for sale and she's not meeting the quota.  I bet they (hairdressers) all got the same speech from the boss.  You had mentioned a few things in the past and she remembered that.  It can't be that she had a memory dump of all of that.  This is how I would read it.  Nothing to do with you what-so-ever except....wait for it...$$$$$$$.  That's my bet.

Valued Contributor
Posts: 860
Registered: ‎10-05-2012

Re: Recent hair trimming experience and seeking your opinion and advice

What sad experience for you.......and YES, I think she was trying to sell you products but she doesn't sound like she is very good at it if she has to shame the customer into purchases. 


Even though it's a chain place in a mall, I hope you can see somebody else the next time you go in. 

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,807
Registered: ‎03-15-2010

Re: Recent hair trimming experience and seeking your opinion and advice



I've had similar situations, and, like you, felt bad.  But, I agree, it is sometimes a way to sell products.  


It's one thing to try to be helpful to someone regarding her hair, but it's another to be overly blunt.  I think she crossed the line.


My own hair, like yours, is aging and somewhat frizzy.  I've had it smoothed for years and, recently, decided to stop doing that.  It's a challenge.


If your husband thinks your hair is lovely, and you've found a way to work with it, I'm not sure I'd want to return to that stylist. 











Posts: 57
Registered: ‎03-30-2011

Re: Recent hair trimming experience and seeking your opinion and advice

Just changed salons on a friend's recommendation.  My hair turned out great but I was so turned off with the push to purchase the salon's special line of products which were very expensive.  From the receptionist upon check in to the person doing my hair, start to finish, was talk about their products and how great they were.  The person doing my hair started to walk me to the door when I was finished and the pitch started again.  I told her I had ample product at home and would not purchase anything.  As I got to the receptionist to pay, all the products they had talked about were waiting for me on the desk.  Told them I would not purchase anything. 

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,821
Registered: ‎02-16-2018

Re: Recent hair trimming experience and seeking your opinion and advice

@AngelPuppy1  This woman was trying to sell you products by any means possible. Everything is a hard or sneaky sale these days. Try Nutiva organic, cold pressed coconut oil for your hair and body. You can use any organic, cold pressed coconut oil. I just like that brand. There are no additives just coconut oil. I have health issues too that have taken a toll on my hair and skin. I put some on my hands and just work it into my hands to remove excess oil. I sometimes pat my hands on a paper towel to remove the excess. Then I run my hands through my hair really good and brush. It conditions making it shiny and soft without being oily. If you want a more intense nighttime treatment use a lot (on scalp and hair) and wrap your head in a turbi or towel. Organic Jojoba oil is also good too.

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,813
Registered: ‎03-17-2010

Re: Recent hair trimming experience and seeking your opinion and advice

@AngelPuppy1 she was trying to sell you products.  They make a TON of money for the store and a huge commission.  

If you're happy with your hair that is all that matters.  


I have highlighted blonde hair that is definelty getting gray underneath.  The health of my hair improved dramatically when I switched from all the high cost nonsense to L'Oreal Elvie products.  Drugstore and always tons of coupons - 


I'm so sorry she made you feel bad or even think twice.  I would have stopped her at word one if I hadn't solicited the advice. 

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,204
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Recent hair trimming experience and seeking your opinion and advice


It doesn't sound as though she was trying to get you to buy the salon products. It sounds as though she was meaning to be helpful. It never hurts to listen to ones' suggestions, even if their perceptions may not be 100%, or in how they say things.


Carol's Daughter has a very good product for frizz -- Sacred Tiara, which I get from their website. It is sulfate-free, if that is important to you. (Not necessarily to me.) I can always count on this for beautifully consistent, frizz-free results!


My hair is finicky only because I color roots, (about every 3 months) which really affects my overall hair condition.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,486
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Recent hair trimming experience and seeking your opinion and advice

@AngelPuppy1 I think the stylist was a bit out of line with her comments, my only advise is this....don't go to the chain salons UNLESS you can have the same stylist each time.  That stylist will know you, your hair, etc. and be better equipped to give you advice.  


It sounds like this stylist was new to you and maybe her comments are her 'style' as far as trying to sell products, I don't know, but I think it is best to use the same stylist each time for all salon services...

Frequent Contributor
Posts: 124
Registered: ‎07-30-2010

Re: Recent hair trimming experience and seeking your opinion and advice

As I see it, first problem was the salon. Going to a stylist you can develop a relationship with is everything, and this doesn’t mean high end. Just someone who’s not in a mall with a revolving door salon. You had your bad experience, show then you have options.

Now, I recently had a really awful hair issue. I was wearing my hair shoulder length, side part, layers around the face and wavy/curly. I had some health issues and my hair was getting frizzy rather than curly, breaking off and thinning. Finally went to my long time stylist I trust, we cut it chin-length, to where the hair looked healthier. When I did that, I got so so many compliments, it was crazy.

So I bring that up only to suggest that sometimes, things happen for a reason. You want someone who’s going to give you professional advise, not someone who’s pushing you to buy the first time you meet. That ticks me off.

So, if you’re happy, ignore this person. If you’re. It happy, ask around, check Yelp, get another opinion! Good luck!!