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New Contributor
Posts: 4
Registered: ‎01-14-2013

I am fighting colerectal cancer which has metz to the liver and my heart goes out to you. Cancer is a horrible thing to go through. It is a struggle not only for the person with the disease but it eats away at the family. They have given me 2 years and I have almost gone through 1 year already...fighting with chemo which in itself is a terrible experience. I will have you and your Dad in my prayers. God be with you.

Contributor
Posts: 26
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Sending my prayers and lots of hugs. I lost my Dad to pancreatic cancer in 2009. I know the pain of watching your Dad (or anyone) go through this awful disease. I took my Dad to all of his chemo treatments and to the hospital when he had the Whipple Surgery. At the end there was just nothing else the doctors could do for him. My biggest regret is that I didn't stay at the hospital overnight with him when he passed away. I was told by his doctor that he had days to live so I thought I would go home, be back early in the morning and then stay with him at the very end. Well, I got a call at 7:30 am from the doctor saying that he had died during the night. I was (am) so broken up that I wasn't with him. He was alone when he died which breaks my heart. So, my best advice to you is to do everything you can to be with him, help him with whatever he needs and always be there for him. Take care of yourself, too.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,758
Registered: ‎03-12-2010

I will pray for your family. I have been there and dealt with that. It is not easy, but death is what gives our lives meaning. Otherwise we would live forever and life would be meaningless. Enjoy your family, friends, and even strangers while you can. They are your most valuable assets that only God can take.

Contributor
Posts: 52
Registered: ‎02-18-2013
On 6/6/2014 Lefebure said:

I am fighting colerectal cancer which has metz to the liver and my heart goes out to you. Cancer is a horrible thing to go through. It is a struggle not only for the person with the disease but it eats away at the family. They have given me 2 years and I have almost gone through 1 year already...fighting with chemo which in itself is a terrible experience. I will have you and your Dad in my prayers. God be with you.

My prayers go out to you and your family. Thank you for sharing your story and I pray for a cure!

Super Contributor
Posts: 375
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

My prayers are with you and your family. I lost my dad in 2007 to multiple myeloma, it spread so quickly and he was gone in six months. He was only 75, an athlete and private like your dad. EVERYONE knew him as he was every active in the community. Sometimes that makes it harder once everyone knows because you are constantly answering questions. Try to protect your mom from that once his illness is public knowledge.

My parents celebrated their 53rd wedding anniversary 2 weeks before he passed. So many of us have been where you are, so know you are not alone. Although my mom fell apart the first year, and who could blame her, she is much stronger today. We were always close, but we have talked every day since dad died.

No matter how horrible it sounds now, the best thing I could have done for my mom was make sure I knew where my dad kept everything before he passed. I was made executor of the will and take care of all the financials. Made sure all the health directives were in order as well. Mom is adorable and we balance her checking account on the phone together once a week. Weird how her generation is so clueless about these things. The men really took care of everything. Oh, and I am the Power of Attorney on everything. My mom was so emotional the first year, I didn't want her to deal with changing accounts over, constantly sending out a death certificate, etc. But most agencies will only talk to you if you have POA.

I cannot stress the importance of having affairs in order. It honestly made my daddy's passing easier for me because I didn't have the stress of wondering what the heck to do! I think it also gave me an outlet for my pain and fear of what was to come. It was a welcome distraction for me.

May you be granted wisdom, courage and peace during this difficult time.

Contributor
Posts: 24
Registered: ‎06-20-2010

My thought and prayers are with you. My husband passed away from metastatic lung cancer February 6th. He was previously the healthiest person I knew, runner, non-smoker. It doesn't seem to matter. Cancer does not discriminate. Our 2 sons are having a very difficult time, as of course I am. He was diagnosed on out 40th wedding anniversary.

Frequent Contributor
Posts: 83
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

HappyDaysRcomin--My thoughts and prayers are with your father, you and your family. Keep faith and trust in God, it will help you through this.

To all those telling OP about losing your own loved one's to this and other cancers...just stop. Doesn't help.

Stay positive HappyDays and be the best daughter you can through this and whatever happens. God bless <3

Super Contributor
Posts: 375
Registered: ‎03-10-2010
On 6/12/2014 YoUrBloNde13 said:

HappyDaysRcomin--My thoughts and prayers are with your father, you and your family. Keep faith and trust in God, it will help you through this.

To all those telling OP about losing your own loved one's to this and other cancers...just stop. Doesn't help.

Stay positive HappyDays and be the best daughter you can through this and whatever happens. God bless <3

I disagree with your comment "To all those telling OP about losing your own loved one's to this and other cancers...just stop. Doesn't help." As someone involved in counseling, and one who has experienced the same situation, I disagree. I found it encouraging and comforting to know others were surrounding me with their love and concern because they understood exactly what I was going through. This is the exact reason why there are support groups because we as humans draw strength from others who have walked the path. However, I will agree that we are all different, and if HappyDays doesn't want us to share our personal struggles, then she should let us know so we can respect her wishes.

Frequent Contributor
Posts: 83
Registered: ‎03-10-2010
On 6/12/2014 susandee said:
On 6/12/2014 YoUrBloNde13 said:

HappyDaysRcomin--My thoughts and prayers are with your father, you and your family. Keep faith and trust in God, it will help you through this.

To all those telling OP about losing your own loved one's to this and other cancers...just stop. Doesn't help.

Stay positive HappyDays and be the best daughter you can through this and whatever happens. God bless <3

I disagree with your comment "To all those telling OP about losing your own loved one's to this and other cancers...just stop. Doesn't help." As someone involved in counseling, and one who has experienced the same situation, I disagree. I found it encouraging and comforting to know others were surrounding me with their love and concern because they understood exactly what I was going through. This is the exact reason why there are support groups because we as humans draw strength from others who have walked the path. However, I will agree that we are all different, and if HappyDays doesn't want us to share our personal struggles, then she should let us know so we can respect her wishes.


I feel a lot of times people on these boards wish to share their own personal experiences to get it off their own minds rather than send positive thoughts and vibes someone's way. Her father just got diagnosed and they are waiting on more information, those sharing their stories not of someone going through the same thing, but of their loved one passing from it doesn't do much than send negative information in an already scary situation for OP. One thing to say you can relate, another to share your own tragedies. Most of us have been through similar experiences myself included but her dad is alive and don't project your sad stories on to her.

Stay strong and keep positive OP. We are thinking of you!

Super Contributor
Posts: 338
Registered: ‎03-18-2010

"He is a private person when it comes to him. Never been sick or in the hospital before. Large in our small town and I understand his wishes to keep things quiet."

When my father was diagnosed everyone had an opinion on what to do and I felt he was no longer viewed as their brother and friend but rather as his diagnosis. They treated him differently. They pushed for another opinion. They were angry.

So many years later, my mother was diagnosed with ALS. We were sworn to secrecy about her diagnosis. As long as she was able she traveled with her friends, shopped, went dancing, and did anything and nearly everything she dreamed of doing. She was in complete control!

Make memories!

My thoughts are with you and your family.