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Valued Contributor
Posts: 822
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: O/T valentine's day question

jump4joy:

Of course you're sad and I'm sorry that you are but if you don't mind my saying, it doesn't have to be this way just because you've been married 20 years because I'm coming up on 44 years and that's not the way it is for me.

Hubby and I exchange gifts for all occasions except ground hog day and 4th of July...lol. Very early in our marriage Mother's Day came and went and I got nothing and the hurt I felt that year was beyond anything I expected to feel but hubby is a good learner (and a fast one too) and that experience taught him the importance of acknowledging occasions that are important to me.

Men are so different than women, they sometimes need to be told what's important to the women in their lives. Tell him what you need from him and let him take it from there. Next year could be very different if you do that one thing. Good luck...hope it helps.

Maria

Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,157
Registered: ‎03-13-2010

Re: O/T valentine's day question

We always exchange cards. We used to exchange gifts, but don't do that much anymore. DH did surprise me with a box of milk chocolate caramels (my favorite candy) this year.

Valued Contributor
Posts: 702
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

Re: O/T valentine's day question

On 2/14/2014 MarieIG said:

I understand, so sorry jump4joy. I agree with the advise that (in the future, I know it's too late now) you should give him a card and something small, basically to set him a good example. {{{hugs}}}

I told him that I had a card for him. He stated that he did not want it. So rather than makes things worse, I just put the card aside. I also had a gift card to his favorite store, but didn't bother to mention that.

Valued Contributor
Posts: 702
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

Re: O/T valentine's day question

On 2/15/2014 doglover3 said:

My DH has to remember Valentines Day since it is also our anniversary. I am sorry yours either forgot or didn't at least get a card and yes, should at least get a card. Maybe tell him so he remembers next year and other times.

Happy for you. DH did not forget... just chose to hurt me.{#emotions_dlg.devil2} He knows how much I love and appreciate flowers or any small reminder. It's OK -- today is another day.. life goes on.

I appreciate all of the support I received from you great ladies! I found friends I didn't know that I had -- and that meant the world to me! Thanks!Smile

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Posts: 702
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

Re: O/T valentine's day question

On 2/15/2014 wilma said:

We always exchange cards. We used to exchange gifts, but don't do that much anymore. DH did surprise me with a box of milk chocolate caramels (my favorite candy) this year.

Nice -- candy is a wonderful gift!! Enjoy!

Sounds to me that there are some 'special' guys out there!

Valued Contributor
Posts: 702
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

Re: O/T valentine's day question

On 2/15/2014 curlywhitedog said:

jump4joy:

Of course you're sad and I'm sorry that you are but if you don't mind my saying, it doesn't have to be this way just because you've been married 20 years because I'm coming up on 44 years and that's not the way it is for me.

Hubby and I exchange gifts for all occasions except ground hog day and 4th of July...lol. Very early in our marriage Mother's Day came and went and I got nothing and the hurt I felt that year was beyond anything I expected to feel but hubby is a good learner (and a fast one too) and that experience taught him the importance of acknowledging occasions that are important to me.

Men are so different than women, they sometimes need to be told what's important to the women in their lives. Tell him what you need from him and let him take it from there. Next year could be very different if you do that one thing. Good luck...hope it helps.

Maria

Your comments are appreciated -- and make sense to me! However, when I tell DH what I like or need (emotionally) that is a sure indication that I will not receive it....{#emotions_dlg.sad} Lessons learned late in life....

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Re: O/T valentine's day question

On 2/14/2014 darcy3 said:

Some men are just knuckleheads. It has nothing to do with your worth or how he feels about you. Just some men are knuckheads and they do not get it ........more training is needed

Some men are just knuckleheads and sometimes all men are knuckleheads. tureer words have never been spoken. if he is a good husband in other ways - you are fortunate beyond belief. I was a widow , alone for a few valentines days - i don't mind so much when he forgets something - it sure beats being alone or having an abuser.
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Re: O/T valentine's day question

On 2/15/2014 jump4joy said:
On 2/14/2014 MarieIG said:

I understand, so sorry jump4joy. I agree with the advise that (in the future, I know it's too late now) you should give him a card and something small, basically to set him a good example. {{{hugs}}}

I told him that I had a card for him. He stated that he did not want it. So rather than makes things worse, I just put the card aside. I also had a gift card to his favorite store, but didn't bother to mention that.

If i truely thought that he did that to hurt me - i would be outta thre so fast his head would still be rockin. No way that is not some type of abuse. If you really believe that - why do you put up with it? He doesn't control you - YOU control you .
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Posts: 112
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

Re: O/T valentine's day question

I got a gorgeous bouquet of flowers that my daughter picked out for her daddy. I would have been fine with nothing, though, honestly.

Here's a story for you. I was checking out at Walmart yesterday, and the clerk told me about an incident that happened a few minutes before. A man was in line and talking on the phone to his wife about what he had gotten her for Valentine's Day. I'm not sure why he called her, but the clerk said he was frustrated about what to get and I guess wanted to make sure he had gotten the right things. Anyway, the clerk told me he was screaming at her on the phone and cussing her out right there in front of everyone. So sad.

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,800
Registered: ‎10-16-2010

Re: O/T valentine's day question

On 2/15/2014 Danae24 said:

I don't get jewels or expensive things, but my dh is good about getting a nice card, a small bouquet...once he bought me a ring and I was stunned...absolutely stunned. We have been married for 1,243 years, so I am just glad he remembers.

Time flies, doesn't it? {#emotions_dlg.laugh}

Paws and enjoy life.