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Valued Contributor
Posts: 801
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: O/T: Is it OK to tell a loved one about their VERY unflattering, repeatedly-worn outfit?


@Jordan2 wrote:

I keep coming back to this topic to add my 6 cents (my third reply)! If your mother can't give it to you straight, who will? Also you would hate to think that people could possibly be speaking behind her back negatively when she wears that dress. I still say it is better to tell her in a kindly way than to just let it go.


ITA!  I could always count on my mother to be honest with me.  I might not have always agreed with her but I knew she had my best interest at heart.  I also count on my daughter to be honest with me and I am honest with her.  

 

 

 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,951
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: O/T: Is it OK to tell a loved one about their VERY unflattering, repeatedly-worn outfit?


@jazzbabe wrote:

@Jordan2 wrote:

I keep coming back to this topic to add my 6 cents (my third reply)! If your mother can't give it to you straight, who will? Also you would hate to think that people could possibly be speaking behind her back negatively when she wears that dress. I still say it is better to tell her in a kindly way than to just let it go.


ITA!  I could always count on my mother to be honest with me.  I might not have always agreed with her but I knew she had my best interest at heart.  I also count on my daughter to be honest with me and I am honest with her.  

 

 

 


I would prefer my parent(s) to teach me to make decisions based on my own tastes, and to solicit opinions from trusted friends or relatives whom I could trust to be objective.

 

I would teach my children to disregard unsolicited opinions from anyone, regardless of their love for you or your love for them, and that would include disregarding MY opinion, if necessary.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,250
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: O/T: Is it OK to tell a loved one about their VERY unflattering, repeatedly-worn outfit?

If you want the truth ask a young child (around 10).

 

Our youngest son (now 30) would always tell me how I looked.

 

 

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,145
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: O/T: Is it OK to tell a loved one about their VERY unflattering, repeatedly-worn outfit?

What if she were to dress like a hoochie mama with everything hanging out in all the wrong places.  Do you still just let her go around looking like that?

Honored Contributor
Posts: 34,706
Registered: ‎08-23-2010

Re: O/T: Is it OK to tell a loved one about their VERY unflattering, repeatedly-worn outfit?

Sorry but mothers are not always objective ... and if their tastes differ from yours, her opinion is not always going to be the least bit useful.    

 

I don't let just anyone impose their opinion on me ....  and I like it even less if they offer an opinion if I haven't asked them.     Fortunately, this very rarely ever happens.

 

Super Contributor
Posts: 266
Registered: ‎03-14-2010

Re: O/T: Is it OK to tell a loved one about their VERY unflattering, repeatedly-worn outfit?

I agree with the idea of taking her shopping for a new dress or two.... let her get what she wants... she might have bought the dress because it was very expensive and she couldn't afford a different dress.... sometimes ugly dresses are really cheap/on sale, etc. and it is the only one they can find

Super Contributor
Posts: 266
Registered: ‎03-14-2010

Re: O/T: Is it OK to tell a loved one about their VERY unflattering, repeatedly-worn outfit?

I also had the very critical and cruel narassitic mother who hated and disapproved of everything I did, wore, said. etc... unfortunately she also did this to her nice friends and didn't have any of those nice friends when she passed... only parasite friends....

 

Because she was like that, no one listened to a word she said and ran out the door and honestly never made contact with her again... She wondered why people didn't ask for her advice because she had no much to give... I would say the phrase to her when she would scold people (and it was scolding) it is not ok to talk to people like that... did she listen... did she care... no

 

Best thing to do is probably take her out and say I noticed the dress is getting a bit worn and buy her some dresses she likes and she has chosen.... wait for her truly asking for advice... don't scold... don't shame...

Honored Contributor
Posts: 15,614
Registered: ‎03-13-2010

Re: O/T: Is it OK to tell a loved one about their VERY unflattering, repeatedly-worn outfit?


@twins mom wrote:

I also had the very critical and cruel narassitic mother who hated and disapproved of everything I did, wore, said. etc... unfortunately she also did this to her nice friends and didn't have any of those nice friends when she passed... only parasite friends....

 

Because she was like that, no one listened to a word she said and ran out the door and honestly never made contact with her again... She wondered why people didn't ask for her advice because she had no much to give... I would say the phrase to her when she would scold people (and it was scolding) it is not ok to talk to people like that... did she listen... did she care... no

 

Best thing to do is probably take her out and say I noticed the dress is getting a bit worn and buy her some dresses she likes and she has chosen.... wait for her truly asking for advice... don't scold... don't shame...


I thought *I* was the "only one"...........my friends wouldn't even come in the house (boyfriends included.)    They would just honk the horn in the driveway, and I'd run out..............

♥Surface of the Sun♥
Regular Contributor
Posts: 235
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: O/T: Is it OK to tell a loved one about their VERY unflattering, repeatedly-worn outfit?

[ Edited ]

Well, look at the bright side: 1) Sun dress season is almost over.

                                               2) If she already looks pregnant in the dress, that might prevent her from actually becoming pregnant before she finishes college. The pregnant look would be a deterrent for most young men. ;-) That may even be her reason for wearing it.

 

Seriously, If she didn't ask for your opinion, don't offer it. You can ask her why she wears that dress to so many events, or what she likes about the dress if there was a way to say it that didn't sound condescending.. She may know exactly what she looks like in it and has a very good reason for wearing it.