Beauty

[Kokathy]

Dear Mr. or Ms. Brownpants (or Bluepants if you work for the US Post Office);

I am sorry for all the packages you have to deliver to me but it’s Wen’s June Gallonspallooza, there was an Easy Does It Day, Founder’s Day and tons of one time only values I needed. Actually I wanted all the one time only values and had to have them!

Heck I’ll admit it, I’m a shopping addict. I try my best to control my shopping urges but June rolls into town and it’s just too much. I also caved and subscribed to Amazon Prime, I’m like a kid in a candy store. I just want it all and I want it now, including an Oompa Lumpah! I’m sorry I keep tracking your truck on the UPS, USPS and/or QVC websites. I just need to know where you are, so I can get my stuff.

I’m sorry if you think you see me driving behind your truck and shake it off thinking nahhhh, it’s not Kathy. Who am I kidding, it is me. I just want my stuff and I want to make sure you deliver me my packages and not give them to my neighbors or keep them for yourself.

I’m sorry I look like a child who was told Santa Chaz doesn’t exist as I sit, staring out my window, waiting and watching for you to show up with all my precious treasures. I know you hear me scurrying to the door and I swear I am not barking in anticipation (well maybe a little). Then looking like this guy at the door as I watch you dig around in your truck for your packages. No I swear that’s not drool on the porch steps, well maybe a little drool. I just want my treasurers!

I know it’s not your fault when Q tells me my package is leaving from the South Carolina and Q puts the palette on a turtle’s back to transport my Wen to you to get to me. You have to understand, I get so frustrated . I feel like a drooling fool in love as I wait for goods. I just want my wonderful Wen, my fabulous makeup, the cool kitchen gadgets I ordered and I really can’t remember what else so Just give me all the boxes in your truck. They are probably mine anyway. I’m sorry for that.

Warmest regards,

Kathy

p.s. Where’s my stuff? I want it now! Please give me my Wen, clothes, makeup, kitchen thingamajig, oh and that other thing, the whatchamadoodle and then there was that other thing. Ok this is getting out of hand now, just hand over the goods and everything will be fine.

[jaxs mom]

*snort*

hilarious

[ANewHue]

What's going on for founder's day, anyone know?

[Kokathy]

I tried to resize Gollum but it wouldn't work.

[w84WEN]

OMG!!! THIS is priceless!!!

Can I just print a copy of this and stick it on my mailbox & front porch?? Lol

[wetdragon]

excellent! you are on a roll today KK

[jaxs mom]

On 6/11/2014 Kokathy said:

I tried to resize Gollum but it wouldn't work.

He resists all attempts to thwart him LOL

[jennys kid]

points for your veruca salt reference!

[scottygal]

You...(snort) are...(giggle) PRICELESS!!! (Bwahahahahahah!!!!!)

[MissKlynn]

I know the feeling! I have five tabs open right now with tracking status even though I also get text updates, I can't resist the urge to refresh the status online.

There's a new UPS upgrade service I'm thinking of trying that prevents them from transferring the package to the post office. It drives me NUTS when I think I'm getting a package that day and find out it was transferred to the post office so will take a day longer! Then I have to drive to my mailbox but UPS delivers right to my door... uuugghhhh! Don't they know I'm looking through the peep hole on my door waiting for that package!