No Charge Haircut -- What Would You Do?

Biftu · ‎02-05-2011

My neighbor owns a high end salon and I would love to have her cut my hair. However, my husband went to her a few weeks ago and she refused to take any payment for her service -- absolutely refused. We both would like to go there but feel uncomfortable if she refuses payment. Now I am not sure if she would do this again, but I don't want her to think now I am going there expecting a free cut. We spoke to her about payment and she just brushed us off. I like my current stylist, but am not tied to her. How would you handle this?

LilacTree · ‎03-25-2012

@Biftu wrote:
My neighbor owns a high end salon and I would love to have her cut my hair. However, my husband went to her a few weeks ago and she refused to take any payment for her service -- absolutely refused. We both would like to go there but feel uncomfortable if she refuses payment. Now I am not sure if she would do this again, but I don't want her to think now I am going there expecting a free cut. We spoke to her about payment and she just brushed us off. I like my current stylist, but am not tied to her. How would you handle this?

My little daughter cut hair for over 30 years before she became ill and unable to work anymore. She had a few clients that she would not take money from. They loved her cuts, so occasionally she would get beautiful gifts from them, and they were always very generous at holidays. Maybe something like that would work for you and your neighbor. It's easier to refuse cash than it is a nice gift.

Formerly Ford1224
We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. Elie Wiesel 1986

JeanLouiseFinch · ‎10-03-2011

I understand your point of view, and it's admirable that you don't want to take advantage, but here's something else to consider. I think (hope) most people encourage their children to be kind and generous toward others and to pay it forward. It's a blessing to us when we know we've been a blessing to others through our own acts of kindness. In order for this idea to work, we have to be willing to allow others to practice that with us as well, we need to be willing to accept an ROAK in order for someone to be able to do one. Accept her kindness with gratitude and tell her you will be paying it forward. You can set aside money equal to the cost of the haircuts (or other services) and put it in the church offering, buy extra groceries for the community food pantry, donate to the local animal shelter, buy dinner for a veteran, you get the idea. Maybe every now and then you can also bring some cookies or donuts when you have your appointment.

Gioiella · ‎03-17-2010

Gratitude is a virtue as well. Sometimes when you are offered a gift, you just need to accept it. This woman clearly enjoys providing haircuts, and you will make her feel good by accepting her generous offer. I love what LilacTree said about giving her a generous holiday gift, but it doesn't have to just be a gift to her. You can take the kindness that was passed on to you and pass it on to someone else. There is not enough kindness and generosity in the world that we can afford to reject it when it is offered.

ChynnaBlue · ‎05-22-2012

I think that I would first thank her for the free cut and then tell her exactly how I felt - that I would love to have her cut my hair, but felt that paying her would be important, as I wouldn't want to take advantage. That way the two of us could work out an agreement, whether it's paying, exchanging items for payment (garden vegetables, pies, whatever), or gifts. If you both talk it over, you'll be able to work out what's best for each of you.

And be aware there's a chance she might even say that she'd prefer not to cut your hair going forward because if there's ever a chance that you left the salon unhappy and started going elsewhere, she'd still be your neighbor and that might cause tension. Sometimes it's best NOT to utilize the services of family, friends, and neighbors. Maybe that's why she did it once for free.

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panda1234 · ‎04-27-2015

This topic is for me. I am always doing for others just because that is who I am. It is very difficult for me when someone does something nice for me. I have to work on that.

MaggieMack · ‎10-01-2014

If I wanted her to cut my hair, I would make an appt, go have my hair cut, and see what happens. She might let you pay. If she doesn't, then you can ask her what her favorite charity is because you would like to make a donation in her name. Then do it!

No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted. - Aesop

millieshops · ‎03-09-2010

Two ideas - Make an appointment and go, planning to pay but also planning to say thank you if she refuses. Right now, it's a non-issue and the ball is truly in her court.

Another idea - if DH returns for a second cut and this time she charges, then you both know the freebie was a get-acquanted with my work offer. She sounds like a good business person and a good neighbor!

NycVixen · ‎10-15-2010

I would accept her act of kindness and as suggested show my gratitude in other ways.

I'm in the process of changing hairdressers because unfortunately after almost 10 years, mine doesn't value my patronage any longer. I just came back from vacation and got an amazing color and cut from a salon there that went above and beyond to make sure I was satisfied. You can be almost certain that since she is your neighbor, she will go to great lengths to make sure you are happy. It's very discouraging when you are paying and not getting what you pay for. I wish I was in your place!!!

To show my gratitude, I would get to know her while she styled you and then I would bring coffee etc. or a nice gift at the time of my appointment. This thoughtfulness goes a long way in my book. I did this with my stylist but she just doesn't appreciate me as a client anymore. I would grab her something to eat if I was going near lunch time knowing she would be hungry. These small thoughtful acts mean a lot to most people.

You can also invite her to lunch or dinner with your husband either out or at your home. As neighbors, cherish the more intimare relationship you can foster with her. My mom used to have a great friend that used to come to our house to do her hair. She always states how she misses having that close relationship with her stylist. Unfortunately, he passed away. This is more of a blessing than I think you realize.

~Live with Intention~