Beauty

[emmysmom]

On 8/11/2014 Katluvr58 said:

On 8/11/2014 nonexist said:

On 8/11/2014 Katluvr58 said:

On 8/11/2014 emmiesmom said:

On 8/10/2014 Katluvr58 said:

On 8/10/2014 emmiesmom said:

On 8/10/2014 Katluvr58 said:

Stick with what you are using that works. Add the Vit C and the Rose Hip Oil for now and see how it goes. Just remember to try to get the most out of any one product you use. I may check out the cleanser you suggested. My skin can be sensitive at times and I have been using Purity and Miracle Lactic Cleanser because they do not irritate me. I have Alba Botanica Coconut Milk and Pineapple Enzyme and I love them but they don't always love me. I have used the Mario B pink powder for blemishes and I do like it. I have a sample of a cream of his but I have not tried it yet. My skin can be sensitive at times and I have found that the ASDM products used in moderation will not irritate me. I was trying to use many at one time, lol, not a good idea.

Kat, thanks so much for your help! I will try the new products when they go on sale. I learned the hard way to only use 1 new product at a time, to make sure your skin likes it. I know you will like the Andalou..I also use Aubrey Calming cleanser..been using it for years. But, the SA suggested the A line and I'm glad I tried it! I get bored, lol.

I get bored also with cleansers. I am so fickle, lol. I did look it up and found it under vitacost I think. It was a few hours ago. I started going into coconut oil creams after that. I love coconut oil but hate the greasy feel. Then I found Kiss My Face (?) and remember seeing that at the grocery store. I can go off on tangents, lol. I am going to stick with the ASDM products but I could use a new cleanser. I like the smell of roses now after 20 years of not liking the smell. Age changes us.

I've always loved skincare and makeup. I've really gotten back into it lately! I want to give my skin the best shot for looking young. I've taken good care of my skin since I was a teenager. Its paid off so far. I'm so grateful to get info from you and others about the best products for anti aging. Do you think I need to use a retinol product?? or just stay with the C for now?? I have tried to keep it natural, my skin responds best to organic products. I notice the ASDM has simple ingredients, I really like that. My derm told me Less is More, and to keep things as simple as possible.

I used PTR Retinol for a short time. This was after reading the benefits of retin-a. Unless you catch his 5.00 trial size sales his products can be costly. (I did like that his was an oil that absorbs quickly like argon oil does) I found a lady who sells benoquin which is the product I need to keep my skin spot free from the vitiligo. It is no longer sold in the US because the company manufacturing it felt it wasn't cost efficient. She has contacts from out of the country. After learning to trust her I ordered retin-a .05% from her. I have used it but my skin can become very irritated and I've ended up with red, raw skin several times. I now use it on top of my creams which makes it less effective but less irritating. I think that retinol is a good product to use in some form. I would start with retinol not retin-a and see how your skin handles it. ASDM has a good price for the product. That or you can try the CoQ10 Cream which has retinol in it but also has other ingredients that are also beneficial. It is a night cream but it also has Vit C in it with essential oils. It is 25.00. BTW I also buy my oils from ASDM since I trust in their products. After reading up on the products I started reusing this cream myself at night. I was using the collagen but I can use that during the day if need be.

ACTIVES: Q10, Co-Enzyme, Retinol (Vitamin A), Vitamin E, Hyaluronic Acid, Magnesium Ascorbyl Phosphate MAP (Vitamin C), Aloe Vera Extract. INACTIVE: Distilled water, [Bees wax, HE Cellulose, Polyglyceryl Oleate], EDTA, Allantoin, Mango Alphonso Extract, Organic Jojoba oil (Simmondsia chinensis), Pure Grape Seed oil (Vitis Vinifera), Shea Butter (Butyrospermum Parkii), Rose Geranium from Egypt (Pelargonium Graveolens), Optiphen.

Kat, please notice I had to change my member name. I was being harassed on another thread and the q told me to change my nickname. I will try the CoQ10 when I can. I like the ingredients..and trust your judgement. I'll let you know soon how its working! Thanks so much!

You are welcome and no offense I did check your name to verify you are who you said you are. Only to be sure I am not talking like a friend to an unknown, lol. I have a question with a good reason to ask. Was your ex an alcoholic? The reason I ask is because my deceased fiancé was one. I don't mention it often because it was a tough situation that I kept to my immediate family and closest friends. It is what killed him also.

I changed my name again, the other one was ominous! Yes, my father and my ex were alcoholics! Your fiance was one?? I am SO sorry! My ex is very ill, heart problems, lung problems (from smoking) circulation problems from the alcohol. The doctors gave him 7 years to live after his heart bypass in 2006. Its been 7 years now. The boys say he's ill but still smokes and drinks. I feel so badly you had to go through this. I don't ever want to experience it again. My boys like to drink beer, and I tell them they have a genetic background and to be careful!! Its a nightmare Kat! I do know how you feel, its awful. My dad died from the effects at 61, it was such a waste. Seems we have alot in common! I am only going to post on the fashion boards, home and beauty. I really got my feelings hurt in that other post. I asked the Q to please delete the post and they told me to change my mn. If you ever need to talk about it, I am here!

[Katluvr58]

Thank you. I am sorry you went through it. My fiancé was off the alcohol when we met and later started to sneak drink. I thought he was ill because I did know the affects of alcoholism. My daughter and I handled it the best we could. His Doctor was a friend of the family and tried to help him. His family had no use for him when he was drinking but they loved him and helped us when we needed it. He fell outside our apartment and complained of a back ache for days. He refused to see the doctor. Then he had trouble walking and I told him he was seeing the doctor on Monday. That was late Saturday night. Sunday he could barely speak and could not walk. I called his brother who called his sister we were going to take him to the hospital. We could not handle him since he was 6'3" and about 260 lbs. We had the ambulance come. In the hospital he kept getting up so they induced a coma to evaluate him. He never came out of it. His kidneys and liver shut down. We signed the paperwork on Thursday to turn the machines off. He died, came back, scared the crud out of his sister. He looked to me and I held his hand and told him I was there and to look for his parents that they would guide him. He then passed away. He did stick around the apt (someone would ruffle my hair like he used to do when no one was there and the cat freaked out a couple of times) till his memorial service when he was finally at peace. When he passed away it was amazing he turned yellow before our eyes. I am sorry that your ex has the problem and all you can do is be there for your children.

[emmysmom]

On 8/11/2014 Katluvr58 said:

Thank you. I am sorry you went through it. My fiancé was off the alcohol when we met and later started to sneak drink. I thought he was ill because I did know the affects of alcoholism. My daughter and I handled it the best we could. His Doctor was a friend of the family and tried to help him. His family had no use for him when he was drinking but they loved him and helped us when we needed it. He fell outside our apartment and complained of a back ache for days. He refused to see the doctor. Then he had trouble walking and I told him he was seeing the doctor on Monday. That was late Saturday night. Sunday he could barely speak and could not walk. I called his brother who called his sister we were going to take him to the hospital. We could not handle him since he was 6'3" and about 260 lbs. We had the ambulance come. In the hospital he kept getting up so they induced a coma to evaluate him. He never came out of it. His kidneys and liver shut down. We signed the paperwork on Thursday to turn the machines off. He died, came back, scared the crud out of his sister. He looked to me and I held his hand and told him I was there and to look for his parents that they would guide him. He then passed away. He did stick around the apt (someone would ruffle my hair like he used to do when no one was there and the cat freaked out a couple of times) till his memorial service when he was finally at peace. When he passed away it was amazing he turned yellow before our eyes. I am sorry that your ex has the problem and all you can do is be there for your children.

Oh Kat, how terrible. He knew you loved him and hopefully he's at peace now. It seems almost impossible to quit drinking. My dad took antibuse, so he would get violently ill if he drank. My mother gave him the meds and he took it until his death. He died suddenly too! I think their organs just give out. I hate alcohol and what it does to the family, the family suffers too. I'm so sorry! How old was he?? How terrible for you, glad your daughter is there for you!

[Katluvr58]

On 8/11/2014 graceandmercy said:

On 8/11/2014 Katluvr58 said:

Thank you. I am sorry you went through it. My fiancé was off the alcohol when we met and later started to sneak drink. I thought he was ill because I did know the affects of alcoholism. My daughter and I handled it the best we could. His Doctor was a friend of the family and tried to help him. His family had no use for him when he was drinking but they loved him and helped us when we needed it. He fell outside our apartment and complained of a back ache for days. He refused to see the doctor. Then he had trouble walking and I told him he was seeing the doctor on Monday. That was late Saturday night. Sunday he could barely speak and could not walk. I called his brother who called his sister we were going to take him to the hospital. We could not handle him since he was 6'3" and about 260 lbs. We had the ambulance come. In the hospital he kept getting up so they induced a coma to evaluate him. He never came out of it. His kidneys and liver shut down. We signed the paperwork on Thursday to turn the machines off. He died, came back, scared the crud out of his sister. He looked to me and I held his hand and told him I was there and to look for his parents that they would guide him. He then passed away. He did stick around the apt (someone would ruffle my hair like he used to do when no one was there and the cat freaked out a couple of times) till his memorial service when he was finally at peace. When he passed away it was amazing he turned yellow before our eyes. I am sorry that your ex has the problem and all you can do is be there for your children.

Oh Kat, how terrible. He knew you loved him and hopefully he's at peace now. It seems almost impossible to quit drinking. My dad took antibuse, so he would get violently ill if he drank. My mother gave him the meds and he took it until his death. He died suddenly too! I think their organs just give out. I hate alcohol and what it does to the family, the family suffers too. I'm so sorry! How old was he?? How terrible for you, glad your daughter is there for you!

Thank you. He was 58. He reminded me of James Garner. He was a wonderful person and I loved him dearly. His family often thanked me because they thought he would have died much sooner without me. It was a sad lesson for my daughter because she was 12 when he died. He had no children and loved her dearly. She was logical and older than her years. She and I would hide his alcohol. After he passed we found bottles he had hidden in his recliner. It taught us both a valuable lesson. She will not be a drinker nor will she tolerate a heavy drinker. I will never go through that again. I may have a glass of wine once in a blue moon but I can not tolerate the smell of vodka, whiskey, scotch etc... It took her a year to get used to my new BF. She grieved for my fiancé longer than I did.

[emmysmom]

On 8/12/2014 Katluvr58 said:

On 8/11/2014 graceandmercy said:

On 8/11/2014 Katluvr58 said:

Thank you. I am sorry you went through it. My fiancé was off the alcohol when we met and later started to sneak drink. I thought he was ill because I did know the affects of alcoholism. My daughter and I handled it the best we could. His Doctor was a friend of the family and tried to help him. His family had no use for him when he was drinking but they loved him and helped us when we needed it. He fell outside our apartment and complained of a back ache for days. He refused to see the doctor. Then he had trouble walking and I told him he was seeing the doctor on Monday. That was late Saturday night. Sunday he could barely speak and could not walk. I called his brother who called his sister we were going to take him to the hospital. We could not handle him since he was 6'3" and about 260 lbs. We had the ambulance come. In the hospital he kept getting up so they induced a coma to evaluate him. He never came out of it. His kidneys and liver shut down. We signed the paperwork on Thursday to turn the machines off. He died, came back, scared the crud out of his sister. He looked to me and I held his hand and told him I was there and to look for his parents that they would guide him. He then passed away. He did stick around the apt (someone would ruffle my hair like he used to do when no one was there and the cat freaked out a couple of times) till his memorial service when he was finally at peace. When he passed away it was amazing he turned yellow before our eyes. I am sorry that your ex has the problem and all you can do is be there for your children.

Oh Kat, how terrible. He knew you loved him and hopefully he's at peace now. It seems almost impossible to quit drinking. My dad took antibuse, so he would get violently ill if he drank. My mother gave him the meds and he took it until his death. He died suddenly too! I think their organs just give out. I hate alcohol and what it does to the family, the family suffers too. I'm so sorry! How old was he?? How terrible for you, glad your daughter is there for you!

Thank you. He was 58. He reminded me of James Garner. He was a wonderful person and I loved him dearly. His family often thanked me because they thought he would have died much sooner without me. It was a sad lesson for my daughter because she was 12 when he died. He had no children and loved her dearly. She was logical and older than her years. She and I would hide his alcohol. After he passed we found bottles he had hidden in his recliner. It taught us both a valuable lesson. She will not be a drinker nor will she tolerate a heavy drinker. I will never go through that again. I may have a glass of wine once in a blue moon but I can not tolerate the smell of vodka, whiskey, scotch etc... It took her a year to get used to my new BF. She grieved for my fiancé longer than I did.

Hi Kat, I don't drink either, have no desire! My sons drink beer and the smell makes me sick. I don't ever want to go down that road either! I feel bad about your fiance and what your daughter and you went through! I'm glad things are better now!

[Katluvr58]

On 8/12/2014 graceandmercy said:

On 8/12/2014 Katluvr58 said:

On 8/11/2014 graceandmercy said:

On 8/11/2014 Katluvr58 said:

Thank you. I am sorry you went through it. My fiancé was off the alcohol when we met and later started to sneak drink. I thought he was ill because I did know the affects of alcoholism. My daughter and I handled it the best we could. His Doctor was a friend of the family and tried to help him. His family had no use for him when he was drinking but they loved him and helped us when we needed it. He fell outside our apartment and complained of a back ache for days. He refused to see the doctor. Then he had trouble walking and I told him he was seeing the doctor on Monday. That was late Saturday night. Sunday he could barely speak and could not walk. I called his brother who called his sister we were going to take him to the hospital. We could not handle him since he was 6'3" and about 260 lbs. We had the ambulance come. In the hospital he kept getting up so they induced a coma to evaluate him. He never came out of it. His kidneys and liver shut down. We signed the paperwork on Thursday to turn the machines off. He died, came back, scared the crud out of his sister. He looked to me and I held his hand and told him I was there and to look for his parents that they would guide him. He then passed away. He did stick around the apt (someone would ruffle my hair like he used to do when no one was there and the cat freaked out a couple of times) till his memorial service when he was finally at peace. When he passed away it was amazing he turned yellow before our eyes. I am sorry that your ex has the problem and all you can do is be there for your children.

Oh Kat, how terrible. He knew you loved him and hopefully he's at peace now. It seems almost impossible to quit drinking. My dad took antibuse, so he would get violently ill if he drank. My mother gave him the meds and he took it until his death. He died suddenly too! I think their organs just give out. I hate alcohol and what it does to the family, the family suffers too. I'm so sorry! How old was he?? How terrible for you, glad your daughter is there for you!

Thank you. He was 58. He reminded me of James Garner. He was a wonderful person and I loved him dearly. His family often thanked me because they thought he would have died much sooner without me. It was a sad lesson for my daughter because she was 12 when he died. He had no children and loved her dearly. She was logical and older than her years. She and I would hide his alcohol. After he passed we found bottles he had hidden in his recliner. It taught us both a valuable lesson. She will not be a drinker nor will she tolerate a heavy drinker. I will never go through that again. I may have a glass of wine once in a blue moon but I can not tolerate the smell of vodka, whiskey, scotch etc... It took her a year to get used to my new BF. She grieved for my fiancé longer than I did.

Hi Kat, I don't drink either, have no desire! My sons drink beer and the smell makes me sick. I don't ever want to go down that road either! I feel bad about your fiance and what your daughter and you went through! I'm glad things are better now!

Thank you. Better may not be the right word. My fiancé was on disability (after I put through paperwork and stayed on it) so we had a huge apt and my daughter even had her own bathroom. We are now at my mothers house and I am her care giver. Four of us share one bathroom and if something breaks down we are scrambling to fix it. My BF has a genius IQ but is not a people person and has no empathy. I have always talked from the top of my head and although the average person understands me the people with high IQ's do not. I am always told to use more nouns and only answer the question. I see in colors and he sees in black and white. Most answers can not be just a yes or no without a proper explanation. That is not a black and white way of seeing things.

[emmysmom]

On 8/13/2014 Katluvr58 said:

On 8/12/2014 graceandmercy said:

On 8/12/2014 Katluvr58 said:

On 8/11/2014 graceandmercy said:

On 8/11/2014 Katluvr58 said:

Thank you. I am sorry you went through it. My fiancé was off the alcohol when we met and later started to sneak drink. I thought he was ill because I did know the affects of alcoholism. My daughter and I handled it the best we could. His Doctor was a friend of the family and tried to help him. His family had no use for him when he was drinking but they loved him and helped us when we needed it. He fell outside our apartment and complained of a back ache for days. He refused to see the doctor. Then he had trouble walking and I told him he was seeing the doctor on Monday. That was late Saturday night. Sunday he could barely speak and could not walk. I called his brother who called his sister we were going to take him to the hospital. We could not handle him since he was 6'3" and about 260 lbs. We had the ambulance come. In the hospital he kept getting up so they induced a coma to evaluate him. He never came out of it. His kidneys and liver shut down. We signed the paperwork on Thursday to turn the machines off. He died, came back, scared the crud out of his sister. He looked to me and I held his hand and told him I was there and to look for his parents that they would guide him. He then passed away. He did stick around the apt (someone would ruffle my hair like he used to do when no one was there and the cat freaked out a couple of times) till his memorial service when he was finally at peace. When he passed away it was amazing he turned yellow before our eyes. I am sorry that your ex has the problem and all you can do is be there for your children.

Oh Kat, how terrible. He knew you loved him and hopefully he's at peace now. It seems almost impossible to quit drinking. My dad took antibuse, so he would get violently ill if he drank. My mother gave him the meds and he took it until his death. He died suddenly too! I think their organs just give out. I hate alcohol and what it does to the family, the family suffers too. I'm so sorry! How old was he?? How terrible for you, glad your daughter is there for you!

Thank you. He was 58. He reminded me of James Garner. He was a wonderful person and I loved him dearly. His family often thanked me because they thought he would have died much sooner without me. It was a sad lesson for my daughter because she was 12 when he died. He had no children and loved her dearly. She was logical and older than her years. She and I would hide his alcohol. After he passed we found bottles he had hidden in his recliner. It taught us both a valuable lesson. She will not be a drinker nor will she tolerate a heavy drinker. I will never go through that again. I may have a glass of wine once in a blue moon but I can not tolerate the smell of vodka, whiskey, scotch etc... It took her a year to get used to my new BF. She grieved for my fiancé longer than I did.

Hi Kat, I don't drink either, have no desire! My sons drink beer and the smell makes me sick. I don't ever want to go down that road either! I feel bad about your fiance and what your daughter and you went through! I'm glad things are better now!

Thank you. Better may not be the right word. My fiancé was on disability (after I put through paperwork and stayed on it) so we had a huge apt and my daughter even had her own bathroom. We are now at my mothers house and I am her care giver. Four of us share one bathroom and if something breaks down we are scrambling to fix it. My BF has a genius IQ but is not a people person and has no empathy. I have always talked from the top of my head and although the average person understands me the people with high IQ's do not. I am always told to use more nouns and only answer the question. I see in colors and he sees in black and white. Most answers can not be just a yes or no without a proper explanation. That is not a black and white way of seeing things.

Kat, is your BF helping out??? You have been through enough pain, you certainly don't need anymore! Whats wrong with your mom?? Is she going to be ok?? I'm taking care of a woman, I adore. She's got lung problems and a diabetic like me. Seems we are both caregivers!! Another thing in common..my ex was a non communicator, it drove me crazy. I can't cope with it, I need to talk, lol. Are you sure you want to continue a relationship with him?? For me to have another relationship, he would have to be near perfect, lol..keep me posted!

Btw, is your BF an engineer?? CPA?? Had friends married to men with these careers and they didn't communicate. Very smart men, just on another level!

[Katluvr58]

On 8/13/2014 graceandmercy said:

On 8/13/2014 Katluvr58 said:

On 8/12/2014 graceandmercy said:

On 8/12/2014 Katluvr58 said:

On 8/11/2014 graceandmercy said:

On 8/11/2014 Katluvr58 said:

Thank you. I am sorry you went through it. My fiancé was off the alcohol when we met and later started to sneak drink. I thought he was ill because I did know the affects of alcoholism. My daughter and I handled it the best we could. His Doctor was a friend of the family and tried to help him. His family had no use for him when he was drinking but they loved him and helped us when we needed it. He fell outside our apartment and complained of a back ache for days. He refused to see the doctor. Then he had trouble walking and I told him he was seeing the doctor on Monday. That was late Saturday night. Sunday he could barely speak and could not walk. I called his brother who called his sister we were going to take him to the hospital. We could not handle him since he was 6'3" and about 260 lbs. We had the ambulance come. In the hospital he kept getting up so they induced a coma to evaluate him. He never came out of it. His kidneys and liver shut down. We signed the paperwork on Thursday to turn the machines off. He died, came back, scared the crud out of his sister. He looked to me and I held his hand and told him I was there and to look for his parents that they would guide him. He then passed away. He did stick around the apt (someone would ruffle my hair like he used to do when no one was there and the cat freaked out a couple of times) till his memorial service when he was finally at peace. When he passed away it was amazing he turned yellow before our eyes. I am sorry that your ex has the problem and all you can do is be there for your children.

Oh Kat, how terrible. He knew you loved him and hopefully he's at peace now. It seems almost impossible to quit drinking. My dad took antibuse, so he would get violently ill if he drank. My mother gave him the meds and he took it until his death. He died suddenly too! I think their organs just give out. I hate alcohol and what it does to the family, the family suffers too. I'm so sorry! How old was he?? How terrible for you, glad your daughter is there for you!

Thank you. He was 58. He reminded me of James Garner. He was a wonderful person and I loved him dearly. His family often thanked me because they thought he would have died much sooner without me. It was a sad lesson for my daughter because she was 12 when he died. He had no children and loved her dearly. She was logical and older than her years. She and I would hide his alcohol. After he passed we found bottles he had hidden in his recliner. It taught us both a valuable lesson. She will not be a drinker nor will she tolerate a heavy drinker. I will never go through that again. I may have a glass of wine once in a blue moon but I can not tolerate the smell of vodka, whiskey, scotch etc... It took her a year to get used to my new BF. She grieved for my fiancé longer than I did.

Hi Kat, I don't drink either, have no desire! My sons drink beer and the smell makes me sick. I don't ever want to go down that road either! I feel bad about your fiance and what your daughter and you went through! I'm glad things are better now!

Thank you. Better may not be the right word. My fiancé was on disability (after I put through paperwork and stayed on it) so we had a huge apt and my daughter even had her own bathroom. We are now at my mothers house and I am her care giver. Four of us share one bathroom and if something breaks down we are scrambling to fix it. My BF has a genius IQ but is not a people person and has no empathy. I have always talked from the top of my head and although the average person understands me the people with high IQ's do not. I am always told to use more nouns and only answer the question. I see in colors and he sees in black and white. Most answers can not be just a yes or no without a proper explanation. That is not a black and white way of seeing things.

Kat, is your BF helping out??? You have been through enough pain, you certainly don't need anymore! Whats wrong with your mom?? Is she going to be ok?? I'm taking care of a woman, I adore. She's got lung problems and a diabetic like me. Seems we are both caregivers!! Another thing in common..my ex was a non communicator, it drove me crazy. I can't cope with it, I need to talk, lol. Are you sure you want to continue a relationship with him?? For me to have another relationship, he would have to be near perfect, lol..keep me posted!

Btw, is your BF an engineer?? CPA?? Had friends married to men with these careers and they didn't communicate. Very smart men, just on another level!

My BF has trouble keeping a job, just when he can help out he loses the job. They get mad at him or he gets mad at them. He was a designer for one of the big three and has a degree from BU. He choses to do contract work instead. He does help around here fixing things which helps. I do not know if we will last. We are on year 3 and I question myself a lot. He did most of the cooking when he got here but now has laid it on me. I hate cooking. My mother and I are both diabetics (type 2). She is not really sick she just refuses to do anything for herself. She will be 86 next month. It is a challenge but as an only child there is just myself and my kids. My son and daughter help out. My daughter is like a drill sergeant. Someone needs to be. Our dog ate a rib bone last year that became lodged in her stomach and we almost lost her. It finally worked it's way out and we are careful about her diet. My mother puts her food in tissues and feeds the dog. Then the dog is sick. So my daughter stays on her about hiding food for the dog. It's like having an 85/86 year old two year old. One who won't even change her clothes unless we get on her. More fun.

[emmysmom]

On 8/13/2014 Katluvr58 said:

On 8/13/2014 graceandmercy said:

On 8/13/2014 Katluvr58 said:

On 8/12/2014 graceandmercy said:

On 8/12/2014 Katluvr58 said:

On 8/11/2014 graceandmercy said:

On 8/11/2014 Katluvr58 said:

Thank you. I am sorry you went through it. My fiancé was off the alcohol when we met and later started to sneak drink. I thought he was ill because I did know the affects of alcoholism. My daughter and I handled it the best we could. His Doctor was a friend of the family and tried to help him. His family had no use for him when he was drinking but they loved him and helped us when we needed it. He fell outside our apartment and complained of a back ache for days. He refused to see the doctor. Then he had trouble walking and I told him he was seeing the doctor on Monday. That was late Saturday night. Sunday he could barely speak and could not walk. I called his brother who called his sister we were going to take him to the hospital. We could not handle him since he was 6'3" and about 260 lbs. We had the ambulance come. In the hospital he kept getting up so they induced a coma to evaluate him. He never came out of it. His kidneys and liver shut down. We signed the paperwork on Thursday to turn the machines off. He died, came back, scared the crud out of his sister. He looked to me and I held his hand and told him I was there and to look for his parents that they would guide him. He then passed away. He did stick around the apt (someone would ruffle my hair like he used to do when no one was there and the cat freaked out a couple of times) till his memorial service when he was finally at peace. When he passed away it was amazing he turned yellow before our eyes. I am sorry that your ex has the problem and all you can do is be there for your children.

Oh Kat, how terrible. He knew you loved him and hopefully he's at peace now. It seems almost impossible to quit drinking. My dad took antibuse, so he would get violently ill if he drank. My mother gave him the meds and he took it until his death. He died suddenly too! I think their organs just give out. I hate alcohol and what it does to the family, the family suffers too. I'm so sorry! How old was he?? How terrible for you, glad your daughter is there for you!

Thank you. He was 58. He reminded me of James Garner. He was a wonderful person and I loved him dearly. His family often thanked me because they thought he would have died much sooner without me. It was a sad lesson for my daughter because she was 12 when he died. He had no children and loved her dearly. She was logical and older than her years. She and I would hide his alcohol. After he passed we found bottles he had hidden in his recliner. It taught us both a valuable lesson. She will not be a drinker nor will she tolerate a heavy drinker. I will never go through that again. I may have a glass of wine once in a blue moon but I can not tolerate the smell of vodka, whiskey, scotch etc... It took her a year to get used to my new BF. She grieved for my fiancé longer than I did.

Hi Kat, I don't drink either, have no desire! My sons drink beer and the smell makes me sick. I don't ever want to go down that road either! I feel bad about your fiance and what your daughter and you went through! I'm glad things are better now!

Thank you. Better may not be the right word. My fiancé was on disability (after I put through paperwork and stayed on it) so we had a huge apt and my daughter even had her own bathroom. We are now at my mothers house and I am her care giver. Four of us share one bathroom and if something breaks down we are scrambling to fix it. My BF has a genius IQ but is not a people person and has no empathy. I have always talked from the top of my head and although the average person understands me the people with high IQ's do not. I am always told to use more nouns and only answer the question. I see in colors and he sees in black and white. Most answers can not be just a yes or no without a proper explanation. That is not a black and white way of seeing things.

Kat, is your BF helping out??? You have been through enough pain, you certainly don't need anymore! Whats wrong with your mom?? Is she going to be ok?? I'm taking care of a woman, I adore. She's got lung problems and a diabetic like me. Seems we are both caregivers!! Another thing in common..my ex was a non communicator, it drove me crazy. I can't cope with it, I need to talk, lol. Are you sure you want to continue a relationship with him?? For me to have another relationship, he would have to be near perfect, lol..keep me posted!

Btw, is your BF an engineer?? CPA?? Had friends married to men with these careers and they didn't communicate. Very smart men, just on another level!

My BF has trouble keeping a job, just when he can help out he loses the job. They get mad at him or he gets mad at them. He was a designer for one of the big three and has a degree from BU. He choses to do contract work instead. He does help around here fixing things which helps. I do not know if we will last. We are on year 3 and I question myself a lot. He did most of the cooking when he got here but now has laid it on me. I hate cooking. My mother and I are both diabetics (type 2). She is not really sick she just refuses to do anything for herself. She will be 86 next month. It is a challenge but as an only child there is just myself and my kids. My son and daughter help out. My daughter is like a drill sergeant. Someone needs to be. Our dog ate a rib bone last year that became lodged in her stomach and we almost lost her. It finally worked it's way out and we are careful about her diet. My mother puts her food in tissues and feeds the dog. Then the dog is sick. So my daughter stays on her about hiding food for the dog. It's like having an 85/86 year old two year old. One who won't even change her clothes unless we get on her. More fun.

Kat, you certainly have your hands full! My mom was a diabetic too..the oral meds she took for it, Avandia, caused her stroke and she died at 84. I can't believe you and your mom have it too..I was told that stress can start it, I certainly agree! I feel so badly for you! Does your mom KNOW the bones etc can hurt the dog? Does she forget?? Does your mom take insulin?? You really have 3 kids to take care of..the kids are probably more self sufficient then your mom. So sad. I have taken care of alot of older women in the past 4 years..I've seen it all. I'm glad your kids are helping out! Anytime you need to vent, please do. I have my 21 yo son to deal with, he thinks since there's no man around he can drink, smoke pot etc. He has friends come over when I'm at work..I told him today I was getting tired of it and he'll have to find a place of his own. Of course I need the help financially from him, he pays rent. Life sure is fun isn't it?? Good thing I have a good sense of humor, lol. You always sound upbeat..I think skincare is something positive we can do to help us feel better, don't you! I love makeup etc, it makes me happy!! I'm so glad we met!! Take care Kat!!

[Katluvr58]

Thank you graceandmercy. I became diabetic after my fiancés death, so stress did help it along. My mom is on levimar. It is the long working pen shot. She has bottomed out in the 50's a couple of times and her doctor had her on long term and short term meds. I told the doctor I would rather her sugar be a little higher than have her bottom out again. The last time was very difficult. She was calling me "mama". She thought the hospital was next to a graveyard and that she had been in the doctors basement. She was restrained for almost a week and they cath'd her. When they changed the catheter she tried kicking them. My son is a good kid who helps out by buying the things that food stamps does not cover like dog food. He has a volcano boiling under the surface though. I can see it and I am just waiting for him to blow. When he gets close he goes for a walk. He grew up quickly after my dad died and we got the divorce. I am so sorry about your son, it can not be easy. Would his siblings be able to talk to him?