Beauty

[Dublingrl]

I am a stay at home mom too! My figure has really gone downhill. I find that I often give my time to others, school, church, husband, dogs, yarwork, housecleaning, etc., and I'm too tired and have nothing left over for myself.

This year I resolved to take care of myself. I am starting slow with a Pilates class on the reformer machine, its vert gentle. My legs are feeling the workout already.

Start small but something you can make a commitment to. Put it on your calendar as an appointment, make an appointment for yourself, and have fun with it.

[ASLTW]

This time of year doesn't help. I would suggest exercise, exercise, exercise and learning something new that you are interested in. One thing you will never regret is some kind of exercise, and education. Good luck.

asltw

[daisyk]

I know where you're coming from. I've been home for the past 15 years. As rewarding as being home is and has been, I think it's easy to lose yourself. Lots of good advice from others here. The exercise is a great place to start and then once you get moving you can start thinking about what you'd like to do from here. You're very young yet and can have a whole new chapter for yourself. I'm older than you, so maybe not so easy for me, but I will take the good advice here as well and run with it. Good luck!

[FinnyMinny]

If you're interested in taking a class, I'd recommend that you take a Creative Writing class. They're offered at many community colleges, adult learning centers, community centers, libraries, etc. Taking the class will help you feel like you're doing something just for yourself and making a new start in building a fulfilling life, and as an added benefit the Creative Writing assignments will encourage you to really sit down and reflect on who you are, what you want, what interests you, what intrigues and excites you about life and other people -- all important questions to consider as you figure out additional steps to take. But taking that first step is the most important (and the hardest!) one. Best of luck to you!

[Rock_chick]

Take some time to learn what inspires you. What do you love, what do you not love? Try something new here and there. For me writing helped a lot. I would just make some "quiet time" in my morning and write for a few minutes every day. Start using that intuition. What gives you passion, besides your family?

When I did this I learned a lot about myself. I love fragrant candles and when I am down they somehow give me a lift. I love perfumes. I have 5 scents that I go between. I love roller coasters. I love music and listen to encouraging uplifting music 95% of the time. The other 5% I listen to regular radio (pop/country etc).

Pick one healthier habit to practice. Maybe it's drinking water, or less red meat, or giving up soda here and there. These are all things that helped me when I "got in a rut". Take what you can use and leave the rest.

ETA this is a beautiful thread, to see women encouraging one another! Thank you so much for posting!!

ETA again - start saying NO to all those organizations and school things that demand your time and energy. Just practice saying no for a while. Then just pick 1 - that's right, 1 thing that you enjoy giving to and help that thing. Maybe it's a women's group at church, or you love baking so you do it for the kids fundraiser bake sale. Just 1 thing. That is ENOUGH. I agree with the women who talk about volunteering outside your home. But there is a fine line with all the fundraisers that go on in our schools. If that is your passion then fine. But if you have given and given, start practicing saying no.

[TX-starlight]

On 1/6/2014 Lucky Charm said:

Get your hair done, but have an idea of what you want. Unless you throw caution to the wind and let a stylist figure it out for you...which is fine too.

Go to Sephora or Ulta and check out some new makeup to go with that new hair style. Play around with it, glam it up or keep it simple. But change it up from what you've been doing.

As far as clothes, I walk around the house in tights when I feel like I'm gaining too much weight. If you hate how you look in just tights, it will prompt you to dance a little, get on the elliptical or do situps! You'll not want to eat all the cookies either!

Go out and buy at least one new casual outfit for the next time you go to the grocery store, you'll want to look nice every time you leave the house. That includes a nice coat/jacket. You will feel better I'm sure, even just pushing a shopping cart around.

And pull out the jewelry box and put a pair of gold earrings on! Even if you're just going to pick up the kids from school!

GREAT advice!!! I always feel better when I get dressed up I am in the same slump, I think the weather is doing it to me. I am not a fan of winter!!

[cmoose]

Hi Lyn- Forgive me it this has already been mentioned, I didn't read every post. Maybe consider getting a part-time job. Something that you really would like and be excited to do. Or even volunteer. It would be a way to have a purpose again, meet new people and just a feel like you were needed. While getting up and going to work every day can feel like a grind, I find myself being so thankful that I have a reason to get dressed, do my hair and make up and interact with the outside world in a positive way. Otherwise I really think I would never get out of my sweats again...LOL!! We put SO much of ourselves into our families it is easy to forget about what we really want.

I'm sure whatever it is you do you will find your way.

[beautybee]

I enjoyed being a mostly stay at home mom. But one of the best times in my marriage was when my children left home and I was able to reconnect with my husband again. We developed a new level of closeness and friendship. It's natural to fear the unknown, especially when all you have known is to be a mom raising her children. This can be an exciting time in your life as you get to explore and discover other parts of yourself.

As others have pointed out, it starts with self-care. Easy changes. New hairstyle, a new flattering outfit, new healthy eating plan that gives you energy. If you are wanting to start an exercise program, I recommend something fun like the Leslie Sansone walking dvds or Richard Simmons. When the weather is nice, go for a walk. As you progress in your fitness journey, you can try new things like yoga or weight training. Maybe take a hot yoga class. Anything that you can do to nurture yourself as you have nurtured your children.

[AngelPuppy1]

I'm 61 and I feel like I'm in one, too! I think the New Year brings it on. Of course, this is not all together a bad thing. It makes us kind of reflect on what we've done or not done over the past year and see where we could improve. Or what we could do differently.

Maybe you just need to take some time that is purely for you. Others might see it as being selfish, but it's not. We tend to put ourselves last and then we feel depleted and not so happy. If we're not happy with ourselves, then we can't put happiness out there for others. So, start by taking an exercise class if you can. If that's not possible, start a walking program. The weather is not so good, but you can always mall walk. Enlist a friend. That gives your more incentive and makes it more fun. You can meet for coffee first or after, too!

[just bee]

Do you remember when you were younger how you'd picture the person you wanted to be with? This person had to look a certain way, have certain interests, and just have that certain something that no one else seemed to have.

And maybe when you were younger you pictured yourself that way. There was a plan. You knew where you would live, where you would shop, what you would wear, who you would know. And you were probably wearing a long colorful scarf and sitting in a trendy cafe discussing some obscure novel or film -- just taking a few moments away from your incredibly exciting, interesting life.

What did that person look like? What were her hobbies? How did she wear her hair? Did she go to yoga classes? Did she study ballet or flamenco? Did she paint or write poetry? Did she go to the theater? The opera? Did she go to art galleries or museums? Did she volunteer? Was she passionate about something? Was she willing to devote herself to a cause? Did she bake bread? Make jewelry? Pottery? Did she speak Italian? Did she have a garden? Short hair or long hair? Did she wear jeans and black turtleneck sweaters or did she wear long, flowing dresses? Boots or sandals? What did she dream about?

Just think about her. Would you still like to know that person? Be that person? Or would you want to be different now? How do you picture that perfect you?

I agree with those who suggested that you start with walking or yoga. Those two activities begin to change you from the inside out. Is there a class that interests you? A subject you'd like to study? Have you always wanted to try something but now you think it's just too late to bother? It's not.

Now's the perfect time.