Beauty

[diamoniqueworksfor me]

Dealt with health issues for the past 18 years, have been pregnant,am a mother, wife, and with all and all have somehow managed to not gained as much weight as could have . But, my mom is abusive and uses my lack of fitness to call me fat . No, I would not want pity but if she had only walked a day in my shoes maybe she would understand what is like to be me . Sometimes when I make a phone call is only to say hi but it leaves me feeling sad , less than ; like my body has let the whole world down by existing and not being fit, beautiful, desired by others, envied. Lately the meds I take are helping but my brain feel in a fog - The sad true is that even if my jeans were size o oo ooo my mom would see me as fat . She, is not calling me fat - is deeper than that . My self is disgusting and ugly to her . Representing all that she hates is me . A child knows, a teen knows, a woman knows and as an old lady my heart will know .

[ElvisShops]

If your mother is verbally abusive and makes you feel bad, tell her. If she makes no changes and continues to drag you down, keep her involvement in your life as minimal as possible. Life is too short to spend with people who cause you pain. Stick with those who lift you up. Good luck.

[mistriTsquirrel]

Let me guess...she's the controlling type, isn't she?

[sylviahomeatlast]

she must really be unhappy with herself to be so mean to a daughter

[Desertdi]

Thought it was "only me".............I am an only child, and I was never good enough for my mother. Nothing I did pleased her, ever........even though I was her only caregiver.

[Kachina624]

You mention meds...are you in some sort of therapy? It would be best if you discussed these issues with a therapist who is familiar with your situation. People on a public bulletin board are not qualified to give you advice. If your meds are causing you to feel foggy, that should also be discussed with your doctor. Sometimes adjustments or changes can be made.

[sam29]

I walk in your shoes. My mother told me I was fat ever since I can remember. I've dealt with poor self esteem my entire life. She bought me clothes in the next size up because she said I was fat and growing fatter. Now that I'm 66, I look back at the family photos and truly I don't think I was ever fat. I was a bit chubby as a baby, but that was the extent of it. I am 5'2" and I currently weigh 125 lbs. this is the most I have ever weighed except during my second pregnancy when I remember climbing up to 140.....but my daughter was 8 lbs6ozs. I am always looking for my flaws. I thought I'd outgrow this, but it has stuck with me my entire life. People will ask me how I keep my weight down....if they only knew that when I look at myself I see a blimp!

[Desertdi]

On 2/2/2014 sam29 said: I walk in your shoes. My mother told me I was fat ever since I can remember. I've dealt with poor self esteem my entire life. She bought me clothes in the next size up because she said I was fat and growing fatter. Now that I'm 66, I look back at the family photos and truly I don't think I was ever fat. I was a bit chubby as a baby, but that was the extent of it. I am 5'2" and I currently weigh 125 lbs. this is the most I have ever weighed except during my second pregnancy when I remember climbing up to 140.....but my daughter was 8 lbs6ozs. I am always looking for my flaws. I thought I'd outgrow this, but it has stuck with me my entire life. People will ask me how I keep my weight down....if they only knew that when I look at myself I see a blimp!

I totally understand, too. My ma, who was 4 inches shorter and 3 sizes larger than me.....told me I had a "protruding belly and massive hips." I STILL see myself as a huge person.........even though I weigh 95 pounds.

[beautybee]

You mentioned you are taking meds and it is helping. Are you also seeing a therapist?

You mentioned being a wife and mother. Does your husband see you this way? Did you know that because of your experience you can turn it around and be the best mom to your child that you can be. upbringing. Your child won't call you fat, or make you feel horrible. Your child will love you unconditionally and it won't matter what your dress size is. I would like to recommend a site called daughters of narcissistic mothers. It is archived. It's a great starting point where you can see if your mother fits in.

You know it's not about your size or your weight or your fitness. It's her.

[Katcat1]

On 2/2/2014 ElvisShops said:

If your mother is verbally abusive and makes you feel bad, tell her. If she makes no changes and continues to drag you down, keep her involvement in your life as minimal as possible. Life is too short to spend with people who cause you pain. Stick with those who lift you up. Good luck.

ditto. I could not h@ve s@id this @ny better.