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Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,539
Registered: ‎03-15-2010

Destination Weddings- new level of crass

Just when I think I heard it all..............

I have heard the same story twice in the last month-

I know of 2 young(ish) brides-to-be who are both planning destination weddings when I asked them about how many guests they expect or hope for they say none!

The wedding packages on these islands are cheap when you select packages for less than 20-25 guests (the one has a package for 12 or less guests). Then you pay for actual RSVP's.

But they are both sending out HUNDREDS of invites.

The game plan is, invited guests are expected to send gifts or cash (since they were invited a gift is expected) and NOT to come to the wedding as this will cause expense to the couple.

I have been told by MANY people that it is now a common practice. {#emotions_dlg.ohmy}

The expense and convenience of an elopement with the benefits of wedding gifts and cash. Apparently the wedding invite=gifts loop-hole has been exploited.

I am appalled by this greed!

Talk about a 'gift-grab' {#emotions_dlg.sneaky}

Honored Contributor
Posts: 18,415
Registered: ‎11-25-2011

Re: Destination Weddings- new level of crass

Confused....so they would pay if I decided to go?

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,602
Registered: ‎04-11-2010

Re: Destination Weddings- new level of crass

Sids, the bride will just pay for the meal, etc at the actual wedding. Not flights or hotel/resort stays for guests. OP, I agree, totally rude and classless.
Honored Contributor
Posts: 25,929
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Destination Weddings- new level of crass

It seems that young brides now a days are all about the gifts. Personally, if I was invited to a wedding somewhere like the Bahamas where , obviously not many people can attend, I would not send a gift since it is blatantly a gift grab situation.

I am aware of one situation where the couple had a destination wedding and they paid for the private jet to take the guests and a block of hotel rooms for their guests , and as long as you ate at the hotel , your meals. of course they have the means to do this. It was a 3 day affair. Sadly, we could not go because my employer would not give me the 3 days off even using vacation time. This couple also asked for no cash gifts but set up a box where you could put in a cash donation to a charity instead.

Super Contributor
Posts: 1,433
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Destination Weddings- new level of crass

If I ever get married, I swear, it'll be done at the courthouse, by a justice of the peace, or a quickie in Vegas, then have a bar-be-que cookout afterwards, lest I accidentally "offend" someone by thinking that I was out for gifts, or gasp! money.{#emotions_dlg.rolleyes}

Was Yuban, then changed to Plaid Pants due to forum upgrade, and apparently, I'm back to being Yuban.
Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,758
Registered: ‎03-12-2010

Re: Destination Weddings- new level of crass

No, they don't pay for your trip at all. They hope that the cost of the trip will dissuade anyone from attending. They may or may not even plan for family to attend. Many double their honeymoon with their nuptials. Main it is done on islands or Mexico. This is less hassle than planning for people to attend and pay for the food and all. I did something similar but announced a wedding reception instead of inviting people to attend the wedding. We got married on a beach in Jamaica with just our parents and immediate family. We proposed this plan to the families and gave enough time for everyone to be able to pay for the trip and made arrangements for a house rental for them, as sharing a house is much cheaper than hotel rooms when split between them all. They all used it as a vacation as well, so we did a lot of cooking and family trips with them while we were all there. It really served as the family vacation for the year. We then sent out invitations and pics of the ceremony and had a reception for our family and friends to celebrate with them. We did a large, family style BBQ with steak, chicken, and fish. Most everyone brought their gifts then, but we were already set up on our own and were not concerned with gifts. We didn't request them and did encourage donations to be made to the local animal shelter in their place.

Today, that doesn't seem to be the case with these destination weddings. Many want all the benefits of a local wedding, but without all the cost on their part. It is a budgeted way to go in many cases, but can be very off putting to the more traditional wedding sect. I've even seen people from Florida come to Georgia to get married on farms and have the hay bales for seats for the guests and take pictures with the animals....to the tune of 25k for the benefit of the farm and hundreds of miles away. It is a way of offsetting the costs of farming. Pictures with the crops and critters are apparently more appealing to city folks.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 39,569
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Destination Weddings- new level of crass

I now officially have more respect for the couples who choose to exchange their vows in the drive thru chapels in Vegas. Simple, private, practical.

The drive thru special is forty bucks. Such a deal.

~My philosophy: Dogs are God's most perfect creatures. Angels, here on Earth, who teach us to be better human beings.~
Honored Contributor
Posts: 18,415
Registered: ‎11-25-2011

Re: Destination Weddings- new level of crass

Not sure why this topic gets people's knickers in a twist.

It's really simple. At the end of the day, if that couple was special to you, you would gift them for their life experience whether you went or not....and no matter if they got married out in the parking lot or on Mars.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 32,121
Registered: ‎05-10-2010

Re: Destination Weddings- new level of crass

It's not a common practice but some classless, tacky couples are doing. Sometimes out of ignorance.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,664
Registered: ‎05-13-2010

Re: Destination Weddings- new level of crass

We all know when someone is trying to play Gotcha. Just don't play along. Send regrets, nothing more. Some brides do this because they are preggers, believe it or not. Then they can have the "casual" island dress and the presents before anyone knows.