Beauty

[rnmom]

I'm very sorry to hear of everyone's recent losses. It does remind me though that life is definitely short and you never know what tomorrow will bring. Another reminder to use that favorite perfume and wear your favorite outfit and not "save" it for someday.

Decluttering has been rather slow over here. I'm hoping to get some more done before summer is over and everyone goes back to school. Back to school clothes shopping is always a good time to go thru the clothes that are too small and maybe I can get the kiddos to go thru some other items in their rooms too.

I'm still working on compacting but that is slow too. I've tossed pretty much all the useless items that I don't like and know I won't use, and using products up definitely takes a lot longer, but I'm still plugging along. After several years I'm almost where I want to be.

[aprilskies]

---

@geezerette wrote:

@just bee

Oh bee,  I'm so sorry to hear about Better-Half's mother.  Please give him my condolences.  You just never know, do you?

Life can throw you for a loop at any time.  I've been dealing with the unexpected passing of my stepdaughter.  Cancer.

Just when you think you have it figured out, you find out you don't.

---

@just bee @geezerette,  so sorry about your losses.  These are the type of life events that put things in perspective.  I was just recently dealing with a sick parent.  You just never know.   Every day is a gift.  Condolences to both of you and your families. 

[just bee]

---

@geezerette wrote:

@just bee

Oh bee,  I'm so sorry to hear about Better-Half's mother.  Please give him my condolences.  You just never know, do you?

Life can throw you for a loop at any time.  I've been dealing with the unexpected passing of my stepdaughter.  Cancer.

Just when you think you have it figured out, you find out you don't.

---

@geezerette

Ain't it the truth?

And I'm so sorry to hear about your stepdaughter.  It's the one thing I can respect about cancer: It does not discriminate.

And it's relentless.  His mom "beat" breast cancer but then it came back -- it just moved to a different neighborhood.  She lived with Stage 4 colon cancer for a very long time and kept the family updated on her progress and treatment.  So, when things suddenly took a turn, it was still a shock. 

I'm just glad Better-half could be there with her.

He inherited her minimalist gene.  But even though she kept few possessions, he now has to deal with them -- and with locust-like family members who have swarmed to claim them.

This process will take a lot of time and he wants it to be over quickly.  He saw what it was like when my mother died.

He flew home yesterday for a short break from his family.  I mentioned that I'd found two bird feeders ($2.60 each) and a wreath for the door ($3.00) while he was gone.  He was not pleased.

I saw this coming.  He will be on a rampage when this is over and on my back like a rabid skunk over every item in this house.  He'd be content in an empty room as long as he had a computer and access to food and beverage.

But he has a point.  We don't have kids.  Most of my family is dead and the only person in his that he cared about is now gone, too.  He wonders why we have "stuff" at all. 

We don't.  I do.  I have stuff.  And now I have the responsibility to make it go away.

[just bee]

---

@rnmom wrote:

I'm very sorry to hear of everyone's recent losses. It does remind me though that life is definitely short and you never know what tomorrow will bring. Another reminder to use that favorite perfume and wear your favorite outfit and not "save" it for someday.

I'm still working on compacting but that is slow too. I've tossed pretty much all the useless items that I don't like and know I won't use, and using products up definitely takes a lot longer, but I'm still plugging along. After several years I'm almost where I want to be.

---

@rnmom

Why is this such a hard habit to break?  Why do we still buy things we won't use?

[aprilskies]

---

@rnmom wrote:

I'm very sorry to hear of everyone's recent losses. It does remind me though that life is definitely short and you never know what tomorrow will bring. Another reminder to use that favorite perfume and wear your favorite outfit and not "save" it for someday.

Decluttering has been rather slow over here. I'm hoping to get some more done before summer is over and everyone goes back to school. Back to school clothes shopping is always a good time to go thru the clothes that are too small and maybe I can get the kiddos to go thru some other items in their rooms too.

I'm still working on compacting but that is slow too. I've tossed pretty much all the useless items that I don't like and know I won't use, and using products up definitely takes a lot longer, but I'm still plugging along. After several years I'm almost where I want to be.

---

Yea, same here.  Things have been slow.  I have decluttered a little bit but it has been slow.  The kitchen, I haven't touched, but would like to go through it. I just haven't been up to the mental challenge plus didn't have the time lately. 

Using products is definitely slow going but between using things and tossing things I won't use, I am starting to see some space. I am loving the feeling. 

Last week I tossed an eye shadow palette, this week it was the balms Mary Lou luminzer.  So pretty but it was old.  It still seemed okay but the reality is I was just not going to use it and I do feel ingredients disintegrate. I am no longer willing to take chances on my face.  I am almost thankful for the tossing because it helps me not buy more. 

[just bee]

---

@aprilskies wrote:

---

@geezerette wrote:

@just bee

Oh bee,  I'm so sorry to hear about Better-Half's mother.  Please give him my condolences.  You just never know, do you?

Life can throw you for a loop at any time.  I've been dealing with the unexpected passing of my stepdaughter.  Cancer.

Just when you think you have it figured out, you find out you don't.

---

@just bee @geezerette,  so sorry about your losses.  These are the type of life events that put things in perspective.  I was just recently dealing with a sick parent.  You just never know.   Every day is a gift.  Condolences to both of you and your families. 

---

@aprilskies

Thank you.  And it puts things in perspective when you're someone who tends to procrastinate. 

If I "left" tomorrow, I'd be leaving a mess.

[geezerette]

---

@just bee wrote:

---

@rnmom wrote:

I'm very sorry to hear of everyone's recent losses. It does remind me though that life is definitely short and you never know what tomorrow will bring. Another reminder to use that favorite perfume and wear your favorite outfit and not "save" it for someday.

I'm still working on compacting but that is slow too. I've tossed pretty much all the useless items that I don't like and know I won't use, and using products up definitely takes a lot longer, but I'm still plugging along. After several years I'm almost where I want to be.

---

@rnmom

Why is this such a hard habit to break?  Why do we still buy things we won't use?

---

@just bee

Why?  Because that's the way we were raised, at least the way I was raised.  By first-generation immigrants that started with nothing and then had to survive the Great Depression and World War II.  It's ingrained in

my very soul.  Anything new is for "good" only.  You baby the "good" and it only becomes usable for everyday when it is stained or unrepairable.  "Everyday" only gets tossed when it becomes utterly too gross for human eyes.  

Pair that way of thinking with the financial ability to purchase that my parents never had and you get the makings of a hoarder.  I have, or at least used to have, a fairly logical mind.  But logic doesn't enter into this.  It's DNA.  Hard-wired.  A tribute to my genes.  In a way, I think I don't really want to give it up.  It ties me to my past: it's just part of who I am.  And as I age, my past becomes more relevant and closer.

Everything is a matter of balance.  You can't live your life  constantly thinking about the end of it, yet you can't let yourself succumb to the superficial.  Is this purchase going to enhance my life, or is it going to be one of those things that turns into a burden that I wish I'd never gotten?

[aprilskies]

---

@just bee wrote:

---

@aprilskies wrote:

---

@geezerette wrote:

@just bee

---

@just bee @geezerette,  so sorry about your losses.  These are the type of life events that put things in perspective.  I was just recently dealing with a sick parent.  You just never know.   Every day is a gift.  Condolences to both of you and your families. 

---

@aprilskies

Thank you.  And it puts things in perspective when you're someone who tends to procrastinate. 

If I "left" tomorrow, I'd be leaving a mess.

---

Oh yea, procrastination I am very familiar with. One of the things driving me is that I don't have many people to leave things too.  I don't have kids and the kids in my life don't want all this jazz so If something does happen to me I don't want people to deal with a ton of stuff. My siblings are my age or older, the last thing they need is more stuff.  I had to move my parents years ago and the "nightmare" of that feeling has never left me. And I do mean nightmare that has been ingrained in my cells.  That was 30+ years of stuff.  Stuff not even used. I started another decluttering journey just not as aggressive as my last one. I am going through things slower.  It is tough though. The word "stuff" just stands out. 

While I am not a minimalist I am starting to head that way,  maybe not a desk in a room minimalist but...I just don't want to deal with managing things I don't use any longer and I really want streamlined spaces.  Something I have never had. 

just bee,  I feel for you because I know you are sentimental about your things, but if you do declutter a bit, it might even be cathartic. Maybe???  Lol. 

[just bee]

---

@aprilskies wrote:

---

@just bee wrote:

---

@aprilskies wrote:

---

@geezerette wrote:

@just bee

---

@just bee @geezerette,  so sorry about your losses.  These are the type of life events that put things in perspective.  I was just recently dealing with a sick parent.  You just never know.   Every day is a gift.  Condolences to both of you and your families. 

---

@aprilskies

Thank you.  And it puts things in perspective when you're someone who tends to procrastinate. 

If I "left" tomorrow, I'd be leaving a mess.

---

Oh yea, procrastination I am very familiar with. One of the things driving me is that I don't have many people to leave things too.  I don't have kids and the kids in my life don't want all this jazz so If something does happen to me I don't want people to deal with a ton of stuff. My siblings are my age or older, the last thing they need is more stuff.  I had to move my parents years ago and the "nightmare" of that feeling has never left me. And I do mean nightmare that has been ingrained in my cells.  That was 30+ years of stuff.  Stuff not even used. I started another decluttering journey just not as aggressive as my last one. I am going through things slower.  It is tough though. The word "stuff" just stands out. 

While I am not a minimalist I am starting to head that way,  maybe not a desk in a room minimalist but...I just don't want to deal with managing things I don't use any longer and I really want streamlined spaces.  Something I have never had. 

just bee,  I feel for you because I know you are sentimental about your things, but if you do declutter a bit, it might even be cathartic. Maybe???  Lol. 

---

@aprilskies

Absolutely!  And I know this.  But, as you and @geezerette point out, I have this little issue of DNA and sentimentality.

[geezerette]

Thank you everyone for your condolences.  

It strikes me as I read all these posts how similar we all are.  Of course, I suppose that's why we all gravitated to this thread to begin with.  I can see myself and my old geezer in so many of your responses.

We have many of our possessions because they invoke memories.  Years ago when I went through the whole parent thing, my sisters and I all decided to take only a few of our parents' possessions each.  Luckily we all get along so we could each choose what we wanted without a fight ensuing.  We took things that we each found meaning in.  I can count the number of things I have on both hands.  I have them displayed in the house and look at them every day.  The older I get the more meaningful those few things become to me.

The old geezer has absolutely nothing displayed from his past and wants it that way.  He has even fewer "things" he treasures and those are from our life together.  And if they burned up in a fire tomorrow it wouldn't bother him a bit.

Yes, life happens when you least expect it sometimes.  And even when it's not a complete surprise, it still is unsettling. But it serves its purpose to keep us on track.  Whittle down to what is most important to you, but don't eliminate your memories.  It makes your life here easier and more meaningful.  But you can't take it with you when you go.