Beauty

[geezerette]

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@just bee wrote:

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@geezerette wrote:

@just bee

What a goat****!  No wonder BH is in a bad mood and feels like he does about your prized possessions.  

I can relate--we are in a similar situation.  Oh, not with our parents, who are are long gone, but our own situation.  None of either of our families will want anything we have, other than our cash, when we're gone.  The geezer's attitude is let 'em auction the junk off or leave it sit, he couldn't care less.  He's too cheap to buy much of anything, but he won't throw a piece of junk mail away.  And so it goes..

Once all the trauma of BH's mother is over and he is home for awhile, it will pass.  But having gone through this stuff, it does stick in one's mind and changes your outlook.  Apparently the younger people nowadays are no into "stuff" as much as the previous generations, although I tend to think they're just into different "stuff".  But I don't think that's a bad thing.  Our whole economy is based on consumption, and I don't think that's good.  The good part of his journey was when BH was surrounded by his mother's family and friends and everyone shared their memories of her.  The rest is just torture and meaningless.  Less stuff means more time for making memories with people that are important to you.

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@geezerette

No truer words.

I'm grateful that he was there with his mother and I think it's good that he has reconnected with his brother.  But I do suspect when this is all over, he will have nothing to do with the rest of the family.

I've known BH since he was 17.  He'll be 46 this year.  And I believe the reason we're still together is that I may be the only person on the planet he can still tolerate.  Funny thing is, I'm at the point where I'm thinking he's the only person I'm able to tolerate.

And this is the odd part.  He is a kind, compassionate human being who treats others with respect.  He and my sister are probably my favorite people.  My sister was my second mother and I idolized her.  She was a misanthrope but she was, again, someone who was decent and kind.  Oddly, she and BH both claimed to be atheists but, to me, these two people exemplified what I always thought a "good Christian" would be.  Kind, generous, respectful, helpful, altruistic, selfless.

When I met BH I told him he was the most Christian atheist I'd ever met.  He was mortified.  He has evolved and now doesn't bristle at the label "agnostic."

Ironically, I've known many a self-proclaimed humanitarian and 99% of these people shouldn't be allowed to be around other human beings.  I'm not even sure they should be around dogs.

Does any of this make sense?

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@just bee

Yes, it makes perfect sense.  Probably because I'm married to an older version of that guy.  Oh, his suit of armor is tougher and thicker now, but underneath he still is that same ball of mush I've known since I was 17.  

Funny you should mention the Christian angle.  Many people have told my old geezer that he is a true Christian.  He bristles at the suggestion since he thinks his moral standards are higher than the self-proclaimed Christians around here.  (He's right.)

Been through the long hard years of him struggling with trying to deal with family, and finally, for his health (and my sanity) he said enough and called it quits.  Tried the reconciliations a few times, then nothing.  Like all wounds, it eventually starts to heal, but the hurt never quite goes away completely, you just learn to live with what's left.  I know for sure we're still together because we are the only ones that can tolerate each other, much to everyone else's surprise.

Now you know just one of the reasons we are living in the middle of a cow pasture with Internet only marginally faster than dial-up (when it works), two hours from the nearest Costco, with only a monster dog and crazy cat in the house with us.  It works for us, and that's all that matters.

[geezerette]

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@just bee wrote:

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@geezerette wrote:

@just bee

What a goat****!  No wonder BH is in a bad mood and feels like he does about your prized possessions.  

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@geezerette

I think when he said, "All the things you think are valuable aren’t valuable to anyone else," he was referring to people in general and not me in particular.

I'm hoping he makes it home at some point this week before he has a stroke.

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@just bee

For some reason, this reminded me of years ago when my mother had all of us girls together and was having each of us take things of hers before she died.  My mother, ever the practical soul, didn't want us to have to go through her belongings after she died.  And she said this way it was more fun anyway because she could join in.

Anyway, as you say about BH's relatives, we were all fairly well off and really didn't need any of her stuff, so we all were rather reluctant to start picking through her belongings.  But all of a sudden, all three of us at the same time chimed in that we wanted the same item:  an old dented metal measuring cup with a faded red handle.  My mother was stunned.  Why, out of all her possessions did we all want that silly old thing?  Because it was the cup we had used to melt butter for popcorn, which evoked fond memories for all of us.  It wasn't the value, it was the memory.  It meant nothing to anyone else but us.

I don't remember who got the cup or what happened to it, but I still do remember that particular instance, fondly.

[just bee]

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@geezerette wrote:

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@just bee

Yes, it makes perfect sense.  Probably because I'm married to an older version of that guy.  Oh, his suit of armor is tougher and thicker now, but underneath he still is that same ball of mush I've known since I was 17.  

Funny you should mention the Christian angle.  Many people have told my old geezer that he is a true Christian.  He bristles at the suggestion since he thinks his moral standards are higher than the self-proclaimed Christians around here.  (He's right.)

Been through the long hard years of him struggling with trying to deal with family, and finally, for his health (and my sanity) he said enough and called it quits.  Tried the reconciliations a few times, then nothing.  Like all wounds, it eventually starts to heal, but the hurt never quite goes away completely, you just learn to live with what's left.  I know for sure we're still together because we are the only ones that can tolerate each other, much to everyone else's surprise.

Now you know just one of the reasons we are living in the middle of a cow pasture with Internet only marginally faster than dial-up (when it works), two hours from the nearest Costco, with only a monster dog and crazy cat in the house with us.  It works for us, and that's all that matters.

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@geezerette

Too funny!

BH called earlier and he's going to try to drive back on Monday.  I'm skeptical.  There's been one obstacle after another on this adventure, so leaving Monday sounds like fantasy.

I had tried to convince him to take time off and head to Wyoming to see the eclipse.  (And to scope out the state to see if it's where he might want to live.  Fewer people in Wyoming than in Albuquerque.  Sounds like my kind of place.)  If I had my druthers, I'd be in Wyoming with my eclipse glasses.  Instead I'll be here with 73.3%.  And now they're saying it'll be cloudy in ABQ.

Life in the middle of a cow pasture sounds like something I could get used to.  I'm already used to manure.

[just bee]

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@geezerette wrote:

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@just bee wrote:

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@geezerette wrote:

@just bee

What a goat****!  No wonder BH is in a bad mood and feels like he does about your prized possessions.  

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@geezerette

I think when he said, "All the things you think are valuable aren’t valuable to anyone else," he was referring to people in general and not me in particular.

I'm hoping he makes it home at some point this week before he has a stroke.

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@just bee

For some reason, this reminded me of years ago when my mother had all of us girls together and was having each of us take things of hers before she died.  My mother, ever the practical soul, didn't want us to have to go through her belongings after she died.  And she said this way it was more fun anyway because she could join in.

Anyway, as you say about BH's relatives, we were all fairly well off and really didn't need any of her stuff, so we all were rather reluctant to start picking through her belongings.  But all of a sudden, all three of us at the same time chimed in that we wanted the same item:  an old dented metal measuring cup with a faded red handle.  My mother was stunned.  Why, out of all her possessions did we all want that silly old thing?  Because it was the cup we had used to melt butter for popcorn, which evoked fond memories for all of us.  It wasn't the value, it was the memory.  It meant nothing to anyone else but us.

I don't remember who got the cup or what happened to it, but I still do remember that particular instance, fondly.

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@geezerette

A very good thing to remember.

[geezerette]

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@just bee wrote:

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@geezerette wrote:

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@just bee

Yes, it makes perfect sense.  Probably because I'm married to an older version of that guy.  Oh, his suit of armor is tougher and thicker now, but underneath he still is that same ball of mush I've known since I was 17.  

Funny you should mention the Christian angle.  Many people have told my old geezer that he is a true Christian.  He bristles at the suggestion since he thinks his moral standards are higher than the self-proclaimed Christians around here.  (He's right.)

Been through the long hard years of him struggling with trying to deal with family, and finally, for his health (and my sanity) he said enough and called it quits.  Tried the reconciliations a few times, then nothing.  Like all wounds, it eventually starts to heal, but the hurt never quite goes away completely, you just learn to live with what's left.  I know for sure we're still together because we are the only ones that can tolerate each other, much to everyone else's surprise.

Now you know just one of the reasons we are living in the middle of a cow pasture with Internet only marginally faster than dial-up (when it works), two hours from the nearest Costco, with only a monster dog and crazy cat in the house with us.  It works for us, and that's all that matters.

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@geezerette

Too funny!

BH called earlier and he's going to try to drive back on Monday.  I'm skeptical.  There's been one obstacle after another on this adventure, so leaving Monday sounds like fantasy.

I had tried to convince him to take time off and head to Wyoming to see the eclipse.  (And to scope out the state to see if it's where he might want to live.  Fewer people in Wyoming than in Albuquerque.  Sounds like my kind of place.)  If I had my druthers, I'd be in Wyoming with my eclipse glasses.  Instead I'll be here with 73.3%.  And now they're saying it'll be cloudy in ABQ.

Life in the middle of a cow pasture sounds like something I could get used to.  I'm already used to manure.

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@just bee

It's supposed to be cloudy and rainy here too Monday.

Wyoming sounds good to me, too.  Nice and desolate.  But I guess it gets pretty chilly in the winter.  Or, as one old cowpoke told us years ago, "dang cold wind around these parts come January."

But still, it's gotta be a fun place with all those deer and antelope playing...

[just bee]

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@geezerette wrote:

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@just bee wrote:

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@geezerette wrote:

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@just bee

Yes, it makes perfect sense.  Probably because I'm married to an older version of that guy.  Oh, his suit of armor is tougher and thicker now, but underneath he still is that same ball of mush I've known since I was 17.  

Funny you should mention the Christian angle.  Many people have told my old geezer that he is a true Christian.  He bristles at the suggestion since he thinks his moral standards are higher than the self-proclaimed Christians around here.  (He's right.)

Been through the long hard years of him struggling with trying to deal with family, and finally, for his health (and my sanity) he said enough and called it quits.  Tried the reconciliations a few times, then nothing.  Like all wounds, it eventually starts to heal, but the hurt never quite goes away completely, you just learn to live with what's left.  I know for sure we're still together because we are the only ones that can tolerate each other, much to everyone else's surprise.

Now you know just one of the reasons we are living in the middle of a cow pasture with Internet only marginally faster than dial-up (when it works), two hours from the nearest Costco, with only a monster dog and crazy cat in the house with us.  It works for us, and that's all that matters.

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@geezerette

Too funny!

BH called earlier and he's going to try to drive back on Monday.  I'm skeptical.  There's been one obstacle after another on this adventure, so leaving Monday sounds like fantasy.

I had tried to convince him to take time off and head to Wyoming to see the eclipse.  (And to scope out the state to see if it's where he might want to live.  Fewer people in Wyoming than in Albuquerque.  Sounds like my kind of place.)  If I had my druthers, I'd be in Wyoming with my eclipse glasses.  Instead I'll be here with 73.3%.  And now they're saying it'll be cloudy in ABQ.

Life in the middle of a cow pasture sounds like something I could get used to.  I'm already used to manure.

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@just bee

It's supposed to be cloudy and rainy here too Monday.

Wyoming sounds good to me, too.  Nice and desolate.  But I guess it gets pretty chilly in the winter.  Or, as one old cowpoke told us years ago, "dang cold wind around these parts come January."

But still, it's gotta be a fun place with all those deer and antelope playing...

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@geezerette

Where seldom is heard a discouraging word...

I wonder if they have a meth problem up there.  Certainly have one here.

[geezerette]

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@just bee wrote:

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@geezerette wrote:

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@just bee wrote:

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@geezerette wrote:

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@just bee

Yes, it makes perfect sense.  Probably because I'm married to an older version of that guy.  Oh, his suit of armor is tougher and thicker now, but underneath he still is that same ball of mush I've known since I was 17.  

Funny you should mention the Christian angle.  Many people have told my old geezer that he is a true Christian.  He bristles at the suggestion since he thinks his moral standards are higher than the self-proclaimed Christians around here.  (He's right.)

Been through the long hard years of him struggling with trying to deal with family, and finally, for his health (and my sanity) he said enough and called it quits.  Tried the reconciliations a few times, then nothing.  Like all wounds, it eventually starts to heal, but the hurt never quite goes away completely, you just learn to live with what's left.  I know for sure we're still together because we are the only ones that can tolerate each other, much to everyone else's surprise.

Now you know just one of the reasons we are living in the middle of a cow pasture with Internet only marginally faster than dial-up (when it works), two hours from the nearest Costco, with only a monster dog and crazy cat in the house with us.  It works for us, and that's all that matters.

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@geezerette

Too funny!

BH called earlier and he's going to try to drive back on Monday.  I'm skeptical.  There's been one obstacle after another on this adventure, so leaving Monday sounds like fantasy.

I had tried to convince him to take time off and head to Wyoming to see the eclipse.  (And to scope out the state to see if it's where he might want to live.  Fewer people in Wyoming than in Albuquerque.  Sounds like my kind of place.)  If I had my druthers, I'd be in Wyoming with my eclipse glasses.  Instead I'll be here with 73.3%.  And now they're saying it'll be cloudy in ABQ.

Life in the middle of a cow pasture sounds like something I could get used to.  I'm already used to manure.

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@just bee

It's supposed to be cloudy and rainy here too Monday.

Wyoming sounds good to me, too.  Nice and desolate.  But I guess it gets pretty chilly in the winter.  Or, as one old cowpoke told us years ago, "dang cold wind around these parts come January."

But still, it's gotta be a fun place with all those deer and antelope playing...

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@geezerette

Where seldom is heard a discouraging word...

I wonder if they have a meth problem up there.  Certainly have one here.

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@just bee

Here too.  Where don't they have a meth problem?

[just bee]

@geezerette

I take that back about discouraging words.  There's a psychiatric hospital in Evanston (big Victorian structure -- used to be an asylum) and I had a brief fantasy about working there.

Unfortunately, Wyoming isn't part of the nursing compact so I'm not licensed to work there.  Worse, the salaries are discouraging.  There's no income tax because there's no income!

Edited to add:

Ah-ha!  Did a little digging and it looks like Wyoming is moving closer to the nursing compact and may be there by December 2018.

[just bee]

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@geezerette wrote:

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@just bee wrote:

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@geezerette

Where seldom is heard a discouraging word...

I wonder if they have a meth problem up there.  Certainly have one here.

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@just bee

Here too.  Where don't they have a meth problem?

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@geezerette

Good point.

[aprilskies]

Thanks, @just bee.  I remembered I had a detangle type of brush that I dont use that has some teeth to it. I am going to try that first and see if it works.  Trying to repurpose over here.  I put it in the shower and will try it out tomorrow. If not, I will definitely look into those. They will work a lot better than my battery operated one.

@just bee@geezeretteI enjoyed your conversation and I couldnt agree more with all said. The joys of getting older and wiser.  ...and  perhaps, a little loss of patience, especially for bs.  I use to be such a patient person.  I remember that ghost of a person.  What happend to her?

I will say one thing about cleaning out someone's else's belongings.  It is a b---h.  Cleaning out my parents house when they were moving is what got me started on this major decluttering journey.I guess it was at least 10 years ago, maybe longer, I dont remember exactly.  However, it was a nightmare, and I do mean bonafide nightmare.  So, when I moved and then looked at all my stuff, I was disgusted. I always decluttered before, mostly clothes so I can fit my news ones in, lol, but never like I did a few years ago.  It felt light and liberating. I would say I got rid of 60 to 70%.  I done a bit more decluttering this year but I really want to get started on another major declutter with my collections. I just havent had the motivation to deal with them yet probably because I dont have the backbone to get rid of them. But, I really dont want them. 

However, I feel like I am in such a quandry. Half of me wants to get rid of everything, including furniture,  and I almost did at one point but I couldnt get anyone on the phone, and the other half of me brings me back to my senses because I would need to start over and I dont want to invest the time or money. I have mostly heavy dark wood furniture and all of a sudden I had this urge to go lighter.  Light and airy.  I still have that urge but I am trying to control it. Although not sure I would replace everything and just do with the basics.  I dont know, maybe it is the want to live out the next third of my life on my own terms with a freer state of mind.  I have managed things all my life.

@rnmom, I can totally relate, I, too, think I am getting over the craziness of it all and I am glad. I spent hours researching products, buying products, finding a place for the products, organizing products, reorganizing and reorganizing again so I can see them bettter, tossing products, the anxiety of having too many products etc.  Most certainly too much energy, both mental and physcial. When did this stuff become such a focus in our lives? I did buy a handful of skincare but no makeup so far this year. Not even something small. It wasnt a goal but I am going to try and finish the year with no makeup purchases. It will be tough as we go into the holidays but I need to remain strong.   As far as clothes and shoes, I am overdoing it a bit lately but I am loving the burst of newness. I think I needed that. I havent really bought this much in a long time.  I need to slow it down now. I dont want my closets and drawers stuffed again. But, I agree, at least these things dont expire and if I need to spend a little, I would rather put it into things that will at least make me feel good.

I cant believe it, I actually wore out an electric toothbrush, how great is that.  I liked that brush so I will miss it but I am so happy to have actually used something to the end.  No worries, I had a backup. It is just a round shaped brush though and I dont enjoy it as much. But, I will use it and if I find I miss the other one, I will replace.