Beauty

[aprilskies]

Alright, ladies, I am feeling a bit chatty today. LOL.  So, I will keep this next post short.  My HEP isn't going perfectly, but I am doing better than I was. 

So, it is a start and I am getting excited.  I really cant fit into most of my clothes and while I go shopping to try and fill some gaps in sizing, I cant seem to allow myself to buy a bigger size.  So, I have no choice but to start getting serious. It is so hard to do.   On the bright side, I have found some sweaters and tops at least. And shoes, there are so really sharp shoes out there, but who in the world can wear those heels. yikes. It has been challenging.

[aprilskies]

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@KaySD wrote:

@geezerette, I bet you aren't any more lazy than I am! But your point is a good one. 

I do wish I could get to the bottom of what makes me decide in the moment not to deal with small things, knowing full well that it will get bigger and I won't like it. Call it lazyness, slobbiness, negligence, whatever--but those labels don't really explain anything--so what's really going on? Still scratching my poor little head...

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I agree, KaySD.  I feel the same way.  Especially when I organize, cleanup, etc everything and admire the look, but then, it seems a week later I am back where I started.  I tell myself each time, well it is only one thing, it still looks good, but then by the time you know it, you are back to square one. I am faced with it now and need to get busy around here.  I think part of my problem is procrastination.  I have suffered from this all of my life, unfortunately.  Sometimes, I just dont feel like dealing with things and it is always - I will get to it later.  But later, I have 4 times the mess.

[KaySD]

@aprilskies Right?!! But, then, if it's procrastination, I still want to know, why the procrastination?

Do we just keep peeling this onion and end up with a pile of labels? How to change a habit without understanding it?

Hey, I'm not trying to pin you down and demand answers, ya know. Just me thinking out loud. Er, thinking with my fingers. You know what I mean. I do wanna get to the bottom of this!

[aprilskies]

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@KaySD wrote:

@aprilskies Right?!! But, then, if it's procrastination, I still want to know, why the procrastination?

Do we just keep peeling this onion and end up with a pile of labels? How to change a habit without understanding it?

Hey, I'm not trying to pin you down and demand answers, ya know. Just me thinking out loud. Er, thinking with my fingers. You know what I mean. I do wanna get to the bottom of this!

---

I appreciate these questions.  Gives us something to think about. However, I don't think there is an easy answer and I am sure it is different for everyone. I am still trying to figure it out.  

For ex. Here is one that boggles my mind - why do I keep buying products that I never end up using and eventually toss?  Everytime I move something, I find another thing I have forgotten about.  No way I can use all this stuff.  The waste haunts me but how much can it really haunt me when I keep doing the same thing and keep finding myself in the same struggle. Go figure, it is a head scratcher.  But, I have narrowed it down to entertainment (as crazy as this sounds), boredom, and a bit of stress and depression. But, I will stop here before I get too serious. Lol 

If procrastination is really your issue, or not, zenhabits.net has a couple blog posts on it if you are interested.  I would link here but not sure how to on iPad. 

[geezerette]

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@aprilskies wrote:

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@KaySD wrote:

@aprilskies Right?!! But, then, if it's procrastination, I still want to know, why the procrastination?

Do we just keep peeling this onion and end up with a pile of labels? How to change a habit without understanding it?

Hey, I'm not trying to pin you down and demand answers, ya know. Just me thinking out loud. Er, thinking with my fingers. You know what I mean. I do wanna get to the bottom of this!

---

I appreciate these questions.  Gives us something to think about. However, I don't think there is an easy answer and I am sure it is different for everyone. I am still trying to figure it out.  

For ex. Here is one that boggles my mind - why do I keep buying products that I never end up using and eventually toss?  Everytime I move something, I find another thing I have forgotten about.  No way I can use all this stuff.  The waste haunts me but how much can it really haunt me when I keep doing the same thing and keep finding myself in the same struggle. Go figure, it is a head scratcher.  But, I have narrowed it down to entertainment (as crazy as this sounds), boredom, and a bit of stress and depression. But, I will stop here before I get too serious. Lol 

If procrastination is really your issue, or not, zenhabits.net has a couple blog posts on it if you are interested.  I would link here but not sure how to on iPad. 

---

Add to those things: lack of self esteem (at least for me) and what I think is the biggest reason--money.  Most everyone today has either adequate funds or enough credit to buy more things than they really and truly need.  So we try to ease our other shortcomings with purchases.  And as you say, aprilskies, each of us has our own and different physiological shortcomings (or what we perceive as shortcomings).  

[aprilskies]

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@geezerette wrote:

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@aprilskies wrote:

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@KaySD wrote:

@aprilskies Right?!! But, then, if it's procrastination, I still want to know, why the procrastination?

Do we just keep peeling this onion and end up with a pile of labels? How to change a habit without understanding it?

Hey, I'm not trying to pin you down and demand answers, ya know. Just me thinking out loud. Er, thinking with my fingers. You know what I mean. I do wanna get to the bottom of this!

---

I appreciate these questions.  Gives us something to think about. However, I don't think there is an easy answer and I am sure it is different for everyone. I am still trying to figure it out.  

For ex. Here is one that boggles my mind - why do I keep buying products that I never end up using and eventually toss?  Everytime I move something, I find another thing I have forgotten about.  No way I can use all this stuff.  The waste haunts me but how much can it really haunt me when I keep doing the same thing and keep finding myself in the same struggle. Go figure, it is a head scratcher.  But, I have narrowed it down to entertainment (as crazy as this sounds), boredom, and a bit of stress and depression. But, I will stop here before I get too serious. Lol 

If procrastination is really your issue, or not, zenhabits.net has a couple blog posts on it if you are interested.  I would link here but not sure how to on iPad. 

---

Add to those things: lack of self esteem (at least for me) and what I think is the biggest reason--money.  Most everyone today has either adequate funds or enough credit to buy more things than they really and truly need.  So we try to ease our other shortcomings with purchases.  And as you say, aprilskies, each of us has our own and different physiological shortcomings (or what we perceive as shortcomings).  

---

It sure does get complicated, doesn't it, Geezerette. You are right. Our shortcomings are perceived.  We are just hardest on ourselves.  

[just bee]

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@aprilskies wrote:

---

@KaySD wrote:

@geezerette, I bet you aren't any more lazy than I am! But your point is a good one. 

I do wish I could get to the bottom of what makes me decide in the moment not to deal with small things, knowing full well that it will get bigger and I won't like it. Call it lazyness, slobbiness, negligence, whatever--but those labels don't really explain anything--so what's really going on? Still scratching my poor little head...

---

I agree, KaySD.  I feel the same way.  Especially when I organize, cleanup, etc everything and admire the look, but then, it seems a week later I am back where I started.  I tell myself each time, well it is only one thing, it still looks good, but then by the time you know it, you are back to square one. I am faced with it now and need to get busy around here.  I think part of my problem is procrastination.  I have suffered from this all of my life, unfortunately.  Sometimes, I just dont feel like dealing with things and it is always - I will get to it later.  But later, I have 4 times the mess.

---

[just bee]

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@aprilskies wrote:

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@geezerette wrote:

---

@aprilskies wrote:

---

@KaySD wrote:

@aprilskies Right?!! But, then, if it's procrastination, I still want to know, why the procrastination?

Do we just keep peeling this onion and end up with a pile of labels? How to change a habit without understanding it?

Hey, I'm not trying to pin you down and demand answers, ya know. Just me thinking out loud. Er, thinking with my fingers. You know what I mean. I do wanna get to the bottom of this!

---

I appreciate these questions.  Gives us something to think about. However, I don't think there is an easy answer and I am sure it is different for everyone. I am still trying to figure it out.  

For ex. Here is one that boggles my mind - why do I keep buying products that I never end up using and eventually toss?  Everytime I move something, I find another thing I have forgotten about.  No way I can use all this stuff.  The waste haunts me but how much can it really haunt me when I keep doing the same thing and keep finding myself in the same struggle. Go figure, it is a head scratcher.  But, I have narrowed it down to entertainment (as crazy as this sounds), boredom, and a bit of stress and depression. But, I will stop here before I get too serious. Lol 

If procrastination is really your issue, or not, zenhabits.net has a couple blog posts on it if you are interested.  I would link here but not sure how to on iPad. 

---

Add to those things: lack of self esteem (at least for me) and what I think is the biggest reason--money.  Most everyone today has either adequate funds or enough credit to buy more things than they really and truly need.  So we try to ease our other shortcomings with purchases.  And as you say, aprilskies, each of us has our own and different physiological shortcomings (or what we perceive as shortcomings).  

---

It sure does get complicated, doesn't it, Geezerette. You are right. Our shortcomings are perceived.  We are just hardest on ourselves.  

---

KaySD, you've come to the right place.  The ComPact has been around for a few years now and I don't think any of us have mastered this process.  We've developed habits and ComPacting is all about changing behaviors.  Shopping, acquiring, collecting -- these are all addictions.  We do it and get a buzz.  Then some of us feel guilty about it and try to hide it.  We bargain: I'm not going to do it again.  But we see something on the shelf that catches our eye -- and sometimes it's something as silly as the shape of a bottle -- and we're drawn to it.  We have to have it.  Years ago we discussed the lure of bottle shapes and colors on the old philosophy forum.  Marketing works.

Like any addiction, we need to want to change the behavior.  And it helps to understand the behavior.  Why do we do what we do?  What's the gain in procrastination?  What's the gain in collecting items we never use?  Why do we have thirty grey sweatshirts in the closet when two would be plenty?  Why do we shop as if we're living someone else's life?  There is the life we fantasize about and then there is the life we actually live.  I have collected items over the years for that fantasy life that remain in boxes and drawers and have never been allowed to mix and mingle.  I own at least three capes.  Maybe four.  In the 70s I bought one -- a relic from 1914 -- and I don't even know if I moved it from California.  Is it still in a box that hasn't yet been unpacked after 20+ years?  I have a deerstalker.  I have one of those fishing line necklaces that was all the rage a couple decades ago and it never came out of its original box.  What do you do with something like that?  Go fishing?

A lot of this is emotional.  I was born with the sentimental gene: Everything has significance and evokes a memory.  Alzheimer's runs in the family: Maybe I hang onto things and scribble notes on scraps of paper and collect calendars hoping that I can capture memories so they don't all float away.  Maybe it's insecurity.  I might need this item one day.  The Great Depression and the immigrant ethic is genetic, too.  It may be junk to you but it has value, worth to me.  It holds a memory, a sliver of history.  A piece of a life that is all but disappearing.

[Beauty$Junkie]

JustBee, so well said.  Such a great reminder to reread on this journey.  Always a struggle thinking how many shoud I buy, still putting items in my cart, purchasing and then canceling the order.  I still have a huge stash and too many clothes.  I am trying to pare down clothing items and purging items that don't make me feel good when I try them on.  I have realized that most of those items were items that I purchased online, and did not even like when I received them, but kept them rather than returning.  I am so hoping that I can get to a capsule wardrobe where going to the closetS is not an overwhelming experience everytime I get ready to go somewhere.  One day at a time; one item at a time.  It is a journey for me.  Wishing all fellow compactors a good September.

[just bee]

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@Beauty$Junkie wrote:

JustBee, so well said.  Such a great reminder to reread on this journey.  Always a struggle thinking how many shoud I buy, still putting items in my cart, purchasing and then canceling the order.  I still have a huge stash and too many clothes.  I am trying to pare down clothing items and purging items that don't make me feel good when I try them on.  I have realized that most of those items were items that I purchased online, and did not even like when I received them, but kept them rather than returning.  I am so hoping that I can get to a capsule wardrobe where going to the closetS is not an overwhelming experience everytime I get ready to go somewhere.  One day at a time; one item at a time.  It is a journey for me.  Wishing all fellow compactors a good September.

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After Better-half and I agreed that we would stop buying tickets for disappointing concerts, he did something unusual.  He expressed interest -- more like enthusiasm -- and informed me that we should go see Black Sabbath.  (Cue pin dropping.)

I checked my bucket list -- twice.  Nowhere did I see "must see Sabbath" on that list.  But then I just said 'what the ____' and went with it.  I think I can safely say that seeing Black Sabbath and Rival Sons was... fun.

I didn't think about what I would wear.  I came home from work and tried to get a couple hours of sleep and suddenly it was time to go.  I opened the closet door and grabbed a shirt.  When I emerged, Better-half looked surprised. 

Where did you get that?

The closet.

I don't recognize it.

I used to wear it.  A lot.

When?

Uh... 2000, 2001... I think.

Clearly my taste was better fifteen, sixteen years ago because he liked the shirt.  So why has it been in hiding, hanging around in the dark for years?

Fifteen, sixteen years go by pretty quickly.  Odd that he had forgotten.