Beauty

[kcladyz]

I would say something but do it in private. Do not embarrass him in public. Just be gentle. 

I once had an odor problem  and over heard people making fun of me.  I would rather have someone be kind to my face then hear strangers talking about me again. In my case I had no idea I smelled.  Turns out I only needed to make a small change in my routine to fix  the problem. I was not showering daily. 

Does  it smell ike typical body odor? Like maybe he did not shower?  Otherwise I suspect it is his food. also some medications make you smell. For me musinex makes me smell really bad if I  take the immediate release not the extended. it seeps threw my pores and I smell like medicine.

[BirkiLady]

@juncusYou just mentioned what I feared: the blood thinner. My husband was on Coumadin (a blood thinner). Your dear friend is probably not having issues with hygiene, but with periodic internal bleeding. I doubt he has a clue. Yet this could become a serious health matter. He needs to have his levels checked regularly and probably is doing so. If he's taking Warfarin (the generic blood thinner) ask if he is being check every four weeks. His levels should run between 2.5 - 4 IF memory serves me well. (My husband passed away on 11/20/2005 so it's been awhile since I've thought about those numbers. Since then I've cared for my mom, a dementia patient with completely different medications and issues.) Anyway, seems like my husband was in trouble when his numbers hit 4.5 and above. He had been to his PCP that week and his Coumadin levels were 6.1, but he "forgot" to tell me. Had I known, I would have made sure he was NOT taking his medications until those blood thinner numbers were lower and he was safe again.  

He probably should be scheduled for a cardio and routine GI. The prep is worse the the actual procedure. It cleans everything out! In this case, it might behove you to stay with him the night before in the event he begins to bleed internally. If so, take him to the ER immediately.) Following the procedure, he'll need someone to drive him home. But wait! He'll be starving. Stop for brunch! Then make sure he's home safely and ready to rest the remained of the day. He should have food at home (he shouldn't drive anywhere that day).

Don't mean to frighten you. Just lessen the uncomfortableness of talking with him. I doubt it is a hygiene issue. Have a feeling he hasn't been feeling as well as he should be and knows something is wrong. Your help will be timely and a huge relief for him.  

If it IS his blood thinners, this is easily solved and won't affect your relationship. So pleased you care enough for this man to ask such pertinent questions. You are an intelligent women to know when you've found a good man! He is fortunate to have you in his life! Sounds like a win-win situation for both of you. Please let me know how his health is doing. I care. Blessings.

[Coquille]

@juncus All of the advice you have gotten from the other bloggers, have been really good. Let me say this, my husband is in his 60's and smells maybe I would say, once or twice a week. He showers every day and he is an extremely clean person in every way. I have noticed that some men in their 60's have, shall I say to be kind, have scents that they hadn't had before. Can it be from medication, hygiene, diet etc., absolutely but from what I have noticed from many men, friends, relatives and people that have and are still living in my building, it could just could be an age thing. I told my husband within two weeks of noticing this problem. I came out and said, You Smell! He didn't don't smell terrible but yet he did smell. The only difference is that we have been together for over 40 years so I can be blunt. He wasn't on any new medication and nothing else had changed. Now when it happens I say HONEY, he goes right into the shower. Does it help, not really but he tries. So, definitely talk to him. Be kind but be honest. As you say, you have a loving relationship with him, so he should understand. If he doesn't, then you have more than one problem aside from his body odor. Good luck. I hope it works out well and there is a happy ending for both of you.

[Lucky Charm]

I just can't imagine he isn't cleaning himself properly after going to the bathroom--even sometimes. 

That would make for a very painful result, staying unclean there....

I know from grandchildren while being potty trained, it has to be clean or you can get very sore.  It doesn't go away.

But I honestly think it's something else.  Maybe he isn't showering every day, or he showers at night.

I couldn't go on one more day, without saying something to him.  If I was serious about him.

I'm not a fan at all of colognes or aftershaves.  I feel they are unnecessary for my husband. 

And when men (or women) try to mask odors, smoke, etc., it's even worse.

It would probably be best to talk to him outside of work on your own time and NOT when the issue is 'happening'.  That would be more awkward for him, knowing something is 'amiss'. 

Tell him you would want him to tell you if anything like this is going on.  Make him feel as comfortable as possible.

It's an icky situation, but I just couldn't go on as a girlfriend until it was addressed and handled.

[Montana]

I think it would be easier to say something when you smell the odor.  You could mention it briefly and let him respond.

Obviously, something is amiss and you probably won’t find out if you don’t speak up.

[NYC Susan]

@juncus, I think it's pretty clear that something needs to be said.  For his sake, for your sake, just overall.  Obviously, things can't continue this way with him unaware and you thinking about it all the time.

My suggestion would be to bring up the subject at a time when he smells fine.  Knowing that you are smelling the offensive odor right then, at the time of this heart-to-heart conversation, is sure to make him feel even more uncomfortable.  That's not what you want.  You want to talk to him about it in a calm, leisurely manner, probably sitting close together and touching, without him feeling he has to move away or cut the evening short because his odor is offensive to you.

Perhaps you could start by snuggling close and telling him how good he smells.  And then kindly and softly add, "but not always".  Ask him if anything is going on medically that you should know about.  See how he reacts.  Hold his hand, look into his eyes, and let him see that you truly care about him and that you're on his side.

He may know.  He may assume you haven't noticed because you've never said anything.  Or he may have been aware of a problem, and now thinks it's under control.  He may be worrying all the time if you notice an odor that he himself has noticed, and talking to him about it might actually be a relief for him.  Or he may not have any idea at all.  The only way for you to put this to rest is to talk about it.  I suspect it will be easier than you're anticipating, and ultimately he likely will be grateful.

(I had a boss once who had an odor.  All the time.  He had a high-power job at a major TV network, and his office was large, but it just reeked whether he was there or not.  No one wanted to go in, but I had to, quite often.  I felt sorry for him because it did seem to be something that was out of his control.  I always thought it was some kind of medical issue, but of course I never knew. 

And I had a friend in college who once had a boyfriend tell her that her breath was sometimes not as fresh as it should be.  She was embarrassed, but only momentarily.  She made some changes to her oral health care routine, their relationship flourished, and eventually they got married.  I'm sure it wasn't easy for him to do, but he spoke up, problem was solved, and they lived happily ever after.  I hope it goes as well for you!)

[Snoopp]

It could be a medical issue... maybe you can explain the issue to him and have him visit his doctor to discuss this in case it's not a hygiene problem.  

[depglass]

I've known people who eat so much garlic it comes out of their pores.  Watch what he eats for awhile, if that's the case, just say "You seem to have garlic coming out of your pores, can you lighten up a bit?  I really don't care for garlic."

[BORN AGAIN]

I would tell him the truth in a gentle way. I personally would want to know the truth so I could take care of it. It is affecting your love life, that warrants honesty.All my best to you.