Among Friends

[ScenicMaine]

@elizabethl123 

I send you my belated condolences as well.  I hope each day that goes by, the pain of losing your husband is less, while keeping his memory close to your heart.  I hope you wake up each day happy & enjoy looking out the windows at nature & its glory.

@SXMGirl 

I agree with your suggestions/comments to @elizabethl123.

I would just like to add, that her family should easily understand if she's not able to attend a funeral.  

[GCR18]

I can understand your hurt.  Put that aside for the current situation.  If you would like to go for your BIL and have someone take you, I'd go.  If not, it's okay not to go.  Tell your family it's too far and send your condolences.

[fthunt]

Send a card and...........stay home!

[NicksmomESQ]

@elizabethl123  Firstly,my sincere condolences to you. Secondly, You’re 90 years old & have your own problems. You’re hurting because no one attended your husbands funeral.I totally understand.I don’t think you should go to your bil funeral. I strongly believe that funerals are for the living not the deceased.

  If you want to do something make a donation in your bil name or sponsor a funeral mass in his honor.

  Please take care of yourself.You matter too!!💐

[dex]

I agree with everyone...do what you feel you are able.You are a loving caring person and nobody will judge your decision.It would be a long trip for you and your bil would I am sure understand if you were unable to travel as they also were unable when your dh passed.At a certain age travel becomes much more difficult and I think everyone acknowledges that.

[nana59]

at your age, you are entitled to stay home and take care of yourself....without feeling any guilt.......

[CAcableGirl2]

@elizabethl123   I'm sorry for your loss of your husband and how your family reacted.  First and most important is to do what you feel comfortable with.

I would suggest not going to the service since it's quite a distance and it might be too strenuous for you to make the drive (error on the side of safety). However, if I were you, I would say a prayer for your BIL and sent a heartfelt card when the time comes.  Hold your head high and do what you feel is right.....which it sounds like a card with your condolensces, since if you don't you might regret not sending it.

It's not the time for "you didn't acknowledge, so I'm not going to achnowledge", but be the better person that we know you are, and send a card (since you mentioned that you would like to honor him).  You will feel better to do the right thing. 

[queendiva]

@elizabethl123 : Maybe when your husband passed your family members were not physically able to make the 4 hour drive.

At your age I do not think that anyone expects you to make the drive. Do send a heartfelt card or letter of condolence right away, flowers or a charitable donation if either is in the budget. BIL's passing is not the time to mend fences that might be in need of repair. 

You are clearly still carrying some resentment. For your sake, let it go. Life is too short, as you know. Easier said than done, I know, but try to forgive, never forget. Do it for you.

[1Snickers]

@elizabethl123  The interstate roads have become so congested with construction and traffic I just don’t drive on them. (& I’m much younger).

I wouldn’t consider the trip,each year it becomes harder not just to drive but to be stressed.

I lost my husband 15 years ago and he did most driving. I’m content to be able to drive locally and avoid accidents.

I know how much you must miss your husband and they should have come. I don’t think they will expect you to drive so far.

I care about you. Please don’t make the trip and as others have said:”send a card!”

[ECBG]

I could feel the hurt in your voice as I read your post and I am so sorry for your loss.  You have, indeed, had difficulty while experiencing the  passing of your husband whom you loved.

.I sincerely think no one can ask anymore from you than what you feel you can do.  I will certainly keep you in my prayers.

You are an amazingly strong lady.  Your granddaughter is blessed to have such a fantastic woman as her teacher.