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Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,087
Registered: ‎03-10-2016

Re: what do you think of a sister who didn't offer a place to stay for a a week or two?

I think your daughter is manipulating you and taking advantage.   It sounds like a very co-dependent relationship.   I'm sure your granddaughter is being used to play on your emotions.   It's a very unhealthy environment for a child to grow up in

 

Let your daughter go to Florida.   Stay back and take care of yourself 

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,475
Registered: ‎03-14-2015

Re: what do you think of a sister who didn't offer a place to stay for a a week or two?

 Should Mom stay in Az?

 

 Yes.

 

 

Will she?

 

No.

 

 

Why?

 

Because she won't do anything to help herself.

 

 

There is always a "reason" why whatever helpful suggestion won't work.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,234
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: what do you think of a sister who didn't offer a place to stay for a a week or two?

Since we only know the story from your point of view, it's hard to give an objective opinion but I don't think your sister is being mean at all. Maybe your sister doesn't want to get involved in all the drama.  No matter how much money you have or how big of a house you live in, at some point in your life, you don't want any more drama.   If you can't handle the drive to Florida due to your back issues, stay behind with a friend and when your daughter gets there, fly out and meet her.  

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Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: what do you think of a sister who didn't offer a place to stay for a a week or two?


@Plaid Pants2 wrote:

In the other thread, the o/p always has "reasons" as to why the suggestions of how she could help herself, wouldn't work.

 

 

Somehow, I doubt that the daughter is as "evil", or is the "devil incarnate" as some would like to believe.


For all we know she could be worse

Esteemed Contributor
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Re: what do you think of a sister who didn't offer a place to stay for a a week or two?


@cherry wrote:

@Plaid Pants2 wrote:

In the other thread, the o/p always has "reasons" as to why the suggestions of how she could help herself, wouldn't work.

 

 

Somehow, I doubt that the daughter is as "evil", or is the "devil incarnate" as some would like to believe.


For all we know she could be worse


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Or,

 

 

The daughter could be not as bad as the o/p makes her out to be.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 20,987
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: what do you think of a sister who didn't offer a place to stay for a a week or two?

[ Edited ]

Not everybody likes having company live with them.  I personally do not. If you visited me you can stay in a hotel. I am not set up for visitors. It is not rude, it is just the way it is.  I do not care if it is family or not.  It has nothing to do with how much money a person has. 

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,229
Registered: ‎03-20-2010

Re: what do you think of a sister who didn't offer a place to stay for a a week or two?

People are who they are... Can't change them.  I have an identical twin who has been very self-centered since we were little and treated me nasty.  I have same attitude as Snowpuppy... Expect nothing-  Some people just only care about themselves, and don't want to make any effort for others.  

You could ask but it's a risk, don't be disappointed if it doesn't go as you hope... Wish you good luck and a happy life in Florida.

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Posts: 17,547
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: what do you think of a sister who didn't offer a place to stay for a a week or two?

You teach people how to treat you.

 

This grown woman has been taught that she can live off of part of her mother's SSI, intimidate her into doing whatever whim strikes her next, regardless of Mom's feelings and that it's okay to tell Mom "you can stay there and rot!"

 

She's never HAD to take care of herself/daughter, it was easier to depend on Mom's income, she allowed it. 

 

WIth Mom to take care of GD, she could've taken a second job, I took 3 jobs when I left my abusive ex with a 2 y.o.

 

My personal opinion is the daughter is a disrespectful bully and a user....but she's been taught that that's okay.

 

I still feel bad for GD.....being a teenager is hard enough these days, much less in the middle of all of this upheaval and uncertainty in her life.

 

BUT.....my opinion is based on only the one side of the story that we've been told.

You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.
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Posts: 10,870
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: what do you think of a sister who didn't offer a place to stay for a a week or two?

FYI: I'll share what my youngest wisdom full son shared with me not so long ago about a family situation I thought should have been handled a different way than it was!

 

"Expectations cause life's letdowns"

BUT we assume everyone is like us & sadly their not whether family or friends!

 

I think after saying this if you wanted to go earlier & stay at her home you should ask her. She'll let you know yes or no. I've learned they aren't "mind readers" so I speak up!

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Posts: 6,629
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: what do you think of a sister who didn't offer a place to stay for a a week or two?


York

@YorkieonmyPillow wrote:

@Lindsays Grandma  don't feel bad; my "sister" wouldn't even let me use her library card. Truthfully, I doubt she would spit on me if I was on fire.

 

@Plaid Pantsas for your comments that the OP "is always the victim," perhaps she IS always the victim. Ever heard of the black sheep of the family?

 

@Lindsays Grandmacould you lie down in the back seat of the car during the trip?

 

Good luck to you.



@YorkieonmyPillow wrote:

@Lindsays Grandma  don't feel bad; my "sister" wouldn't even let me use her library card. Truthfully, I doubt she would spit on me if I was on fire.

 

@Plaid Pantsas for your comments that the OP "is always the victim," perhaps she IS always the victim. Ever heard of the black sheep of the family?

 

@Lindsays Grandmacould you lie down in the back seat of the car during the trip?

 

Good luck to you.


Thanks for your understanding and yes, I intend to take over the backseat.  My sister is generous to those she chooses to be.  I have never asked family for money or anything else, I jumped over the hurdles when they were in front of me.

@ieonmyPillow wrote:

@Lindsays Grandma  don't feel bad; my "sister" wouldn't even let me use her library card. Truthfully, I doubt she would spit on me if I was on fire.

 

@Plaid Pantsas for your comments that the OP "is always the victim," perhaps she IS always the victim. Ever heard of the black sheep of the family?

 

@Lindsays Grandmacould you lie down in the back seat of the car during the trip?

 

Good luck to you.


 

The moving finger writes; And having writ, Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line Nor all your Tears Wash out a Word of it. Omar Khayam