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Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,719
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: what do you think of a sister who didn't offer a place to stay for a a week or two?

Your sister in Florida may be thinking what then. She may be concerned that if she offers her home to you that when your daughter arrives to retrieve you for the drive to the new home she will bring trouble with her. She may have need of a loan for car repairs, she may need to stay a few days that turn into months. The Florida sister seems the sensible sister.

 

What daughter would think nothing of expecting her mother to endure a long car trip when she's recovering from a broken hip?

 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 17,598
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: what do you think of a sister who didn't offer a place to stay for a a week or two?

@Lindsays Grandma

 

It hasn't been mentioned whether you and your daughter have even made housing plans in the area you plan to move to for her casual job offer, have you?

 

Or is this a 'we'll figure it out when we get there' kind of scenario? If that's the case, that's probably why your sister hasn't offered for ya'll to stay with her.

 

It's real easy to ask to stay for "a week or 2" while we look for a place, but in reality it may take much longer to find suitable, affordable housing, not to mention the money involved to make the necessary deposits, etc., unless this has already been taken care of.

 

Unless housing plans are already arranged, your sister is smart enough to know it won't be 'for a week or 2'.

 

You still haven't mentioned how your GD feels about this move and being uprooted from her school and friends or is she not even being considered in this equation by your daughter?

 

The GD is the one I feel really bad for.....

You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,454
Registered: ‎01-13-2013

Re: what do you think of a sister who didn't offer a place to stay for a a week or two?

[ Edited ]

@Lindsays Grandma  don't feel bad; my "sister" wouldn't even let me use her library card. Truthfully, I doubt she would spit on me if I was on fire.

 

@Plaid Pantsas for your comments that the OP "is always the victim," perhaps she IS always the victim. Ever heard of the black sheep of the family?

 

@Lindsays Grandmacould you lie down in the back seat of the car during the trip?

 

Good luck to you.

Super Contributor
Posts: 473
Registered: ‎03-13-2010

Re: what do you think of a sister who didn't offer a place to stay for a a week or two?

The sister in Florida is absolutely correct in NOT allowing this family of three to stay with her for even ONE DAY.

 

If they arrive in Florida and can NOT get employment, or for any reason it doesn't work out and they are living with the sister for a time, they could turn into squatters with a legal right to remain, since the sister in Florida invited them in to live there.

 

Won't matter if she claims she only asked them to "visit".

 

Keep it all separate.

 

Frankly-this sounds like a disaster waiting to happen. Not because of the move, but uprooting the kid from school mid-year, no apparent place lined up to stay in the area the daughter wants to live in, and what kind of job? If she can't afford to live on her own in AZ with her kid, it kind be any kind of corporate transfer...

 

LIndaysMom....I agreee with the posters who suggest that YOU find out if there are services in AZ that would let you remain there. AZ is FULL of retired people, isn't it? And social services DO exist.

 

I would suggest the DAUGHTER ( who is in her FIFTIES?!?!?!? Sheesh) go to Florida FIRST and send for her OWN daughter when she is settled in, and after this school year.

 

If she cant' afford to do that on her own, she probably shouldn't go. A move across country can't easily be done on a minimum wage job prospect. Or, depending on Mom's Social Security either ( assuming here)..

 

I think the SISTER in Florida is the ONLY one who's thinking straight. She after all probably has BOTH sides of this story.

Super Contributor
Posts: 473
Registered: ‎03-13-2010

Re: what do you think of a sister who didn't offer a place to stay for a a week or two?

[ Edited ]

Meant "lindsaysgrandma" and not any KIND of a corporate transfer!!!

 

 

Just discovered the "Edit" feature!

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,892
Registered: ‎02-19-2012

Re: what do you think of a sister who didn't offer a place to stay for a a week or two?


@Lindsays Grandma wrote:

My daughter and I were on the phone with her a few days ago talking about the move and when we got off the phone my daughter couldn't understand why her aunt did not tell me to get on a plane and come to her house until my daughter gets there. 


It sounds to me like your daughter likes to :stir the pot" and cause drama.  This whole idea of picking up and moving across country with no firm plans is insane.

 

Stay in AZ where you're happy and let daughter go.  It is time for you both to grow up.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,797
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: what do you think of a sister who didn't offer a place to stay for a a week or two?

[ Edited ]

@Lindsays Grandma. I read where you had said the three of you live togerther, do you have friends you can talk to about this move? If your daughter is taking advantage of you, you need to get some help.

When you lose some one you L~O~V~E, that Memory of them, becomes a TREASURE.
Honored Contributor
Posts: 17,739
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: what do you think of a sister who didn't offer a place to stay for a a week or two?

Does your daughter also think ,her aunt should house her ,and her daughter too?

Honored Contributor
Posts: 23,394
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: what do you think of a sister who didn't offer a place to stay for a a week or two?

[ Edited ]

I think the OP is a mountain out of a molehill and something that we can't speculate on and shouldn't be an issue.

 

She called her sister, her sister didn't say "OH come stay with me!"  

 

End of story.  For WHATEVER reason (doesn't have to be a good reason; just a reason), her sister didn't invite her to come stay.  End of story.

 

She may not ever invite people to stay, may not want company, may not want to clean out a guest room, may not like to feel like she has to entertain people, may walk around the house nekked, may have wild parties or church groups in, may not like others in the house, may not care, may have a life she doesn't want disrupted, or any of the other suggestions above, etc. etc.

 

Whatever reason, it is her choice and good enough.  Don't ask to come stay. . . 

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,475
Registered: ‎03-14-2015

Re: what do you think of a sister who didn't offer a place to stay for a a week or two?

In the other thread, the o/p always has "reasons" as to why the suggestions of how she could help herself, wouldn't work.

 

 

Somehow, I doubt that the daughter is as "evil", or is the "devil incarnate" as some would like to believe.