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Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,520
Registered: ‎03-04-2012

Re: what do you think of a sister who didn't offer a place to stay for a a week or two?

Hate to sound like a meany - but if my sister said she wanted to stay with me while she got settled the answer would be NO.  I'm afraid she would never move out!  My sister is one of those people who always needs someone to take care of her.  She can't get off of her butt and work.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,905
Registered: ‎03-19-2010

Re: what do you think of a sister who didn't offer a place to stay for a a week or two?

I won't think anything about it, one way or another.  I try very hard not to have expectations of others or place my expectations on them.

 

Also a person's financial status really doesn't matter.  Some people are just more open and giving than others whether they live in a mansion or a shack.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,388
Registered: ‎03-16-2010

Re: what do you think of a sister who didn't offer a place to stay for a a week or two?

She probably did not think about it. Why don't you ask? 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 37,264
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: what do you think of a sister who didn't offer a place to stay for a a week or two?

i do think it is sad that you are moving to florida and your sister didnt offer to let you visit her for a few days, no matter where she lives.  if you feel like you are close to her, it cannot hurt you to ask.....the worst she can say is "no." in our family we never say no to visits, unless we wont be home.

 

i do agree that if the car ride is too much for you, you should get a flight and stay in a hotel for a few days if your sisters place is not an option. splurge on yourself if you can and RELAX.

**********************************************
"I would prefer even to to fail with honor than win by cheating." - Sophocles
Honored Contributor
Posts: 17,739
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: what do you think of a sister who didn't offer a place to stay for a a week or two?

By now you should know how your sister is. She isn't going to change because you hope she will

 

 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 17,739
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: what do you think of a sister who didn't offer a place to stay for a a week or two?

Rereading your OP, it sounds like your daughter has instigated your feelings, toward your sister a bit

 

From what you have told us about the way she talks to you and  treats you, I would not put  any faith in her ability to judge situations

 

According to what you have told us about her, she is a taker, and user, and has behaved deplorably toward you

 

Maybe your sister doesn't want to get mixed up with her problems and bad attitude

Honored Contributor
Posts: 9,605
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: what do you think of a sister who didn't offer a place to stay for a a week or two?

Why don't you call her back and say 'you know, I've been thinking about what you said, that car trip is going to be too much!'.

 

Ask her if it would be alright for you to fly in to her town and stay with her.

 

Perhaps she and you could do the 4 hour trip together to your new place, once your daughter gets there.

 

I sure hope your daughter is doing all the *heavy lifting* since this whole move is her idea.  Let her set up house for you.  Maybe your sister could help you with the little things like getting your bedroom and clothes unpacked.

 

I would do anything for my sisters and one lives twice as far away as yours is going to be.  I'm lucky that I get to see her almost once a month and in fact we will get together with her this week.

 

My other sister lives within walking distance and how I miss her when I'm with my oldest sister.

 

Can't hurt for you (or your daughter) to make this call.  Four days driving is torture. 

 

But I do want to take this opportunity to  wish you good luck and safe travels.  I hope you enjoy Florida, so many people would be delighted to move there--especially now!

 

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,637
Registered: ‎11-15-2011

Re: what do you think of a sister who didn't offer a place to stay for a a week or two?

[ Edited ]

@Lindsays Grandma  Don't feel bad towards your sister.  Boca Grande is 200 miles from Winter Park and there are not any direct roads from Boca to I-75.  

 

It will take 3-4 hours to go one way so a daily commute would be 400 miles and with the traffic in Florida this time of year it could take 6 - 8 hours (normal driving time 3 hrs one way).  

 

If I lived that far away, I would not offer for you to stay either, it would be too inconvenient with the distance.  I wouldn't even think about it for that reason.

 

I hope your daughter's job is concrete.  Finding work and a place to live is not simple this time of year in Florida.  Even the natives try to "stay in."

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,283
Registered: ‎04-28-2011

Re: what do you think of a sister who didn't offer a place to stay for a a week or two?

@Lindsays Grandma, did you happen to read this comment?


Trinity11 wrote:

I think your anger is misplaced towards your sister. You said in a previous thread you didn't want to move. Your sister may wish to stay out of this because she knows the drama your daughter has put you through in the past. Why are you moving with a 51 year old adult who used abusive language towards you? You deserve so much better and I predict if your daughter is behaving this selfish way it will only get worse in the future. Please rethink this move because I think you will deeply regret it.... 

 

My best to you. 


If you go to Florida, what makes you think you will be happier there?  You are still taking your problems with you ... Your abusive daughter!

I'm sure that you are concerned for your GD, however there is only so much you can do ... you are not her parent and soon she will move out to go to college or to be on her own.  When that happens, where will you be?

~

I understand that you share expenses w/ your daughter, however you really need to get help for yourself ... try to contact a group/someone for assistance, check with Social Services as to what might be available to assist you, so you can stay in AZ.

My best to you as well.

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Posts: 13,913
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: what do you think of a sister who didn't offer a place to stay for a a week or two?

[ Edited ]

@Lindsays Grandma wrote:

My daughter, granddaughter and I are moving to Florida from AZ in a few weeks, we will be driving, or at least my daughter will be.  My sister lives in FL in Boca Grande in a two story million dollar house by herself, she is a well to do widow.  We never had problems in our relationship but we have lived three thousand miles away from each other for many, many years.  We communicate by phone and e-mail.

 

Recently when we discussed the trip by car she was concerned because I broke my hip last year and spending hours in a car for four days is not a good thing.  My daughter and I were on the phone with her a few days ago talking about the move and when we got off the phone my daughter couldn't understand why her aunt did not tell me to get on a plane and come to her house until my daughter gets there.  I am a bit hurt that she didn't, it would be so much easier for me.  She knows that I am very likable, neat and organized and in no way would disrupt her life.  She is the only sibling I have and for sure I would do it for her if it were reversed.  I'll get through the trip and will probably need some physical therapy when I get there but I am disappointed that she didn't offer that to me. I won't ask her because it would hurt even more to hear her give an excuse why she can't.  She is smart enough to figure it out by herself. Am I wrong in feeling  hurt?

 

 


@Lindsays Grandma

 

I feel there might be more to the story, so I won't comment. I have had problems over the years with 2 of my 3 surviving older sisters, and we lived, at the time, in the same city. 

 

If I give only my part of the story I don't think it would be fair to them. It now has been in the past for many, many years.

 

 

hckynut(john)

hckynut(john)