Among Friends

[chiclets]

You do not have to validate what you do or who you are, they are your life choices.

Attend the next family event.

If circumstance arise let the consequence fall on the other for their own action. A response/ defense does not require confirmation.

[ID2]

Eh, this whole story sounds a bit fishy to me. 

[SouthernBee]

@Still keeper of the koi: Family drama: Very real and many episodes are true yet many people find very difficult to believe. My DH family very messed up because his mother was determined to create drama and make sure siblings never could develope or enjoy sibling friendships and harmony. DH siblings 9. I have two SIL's that do not like me. They love, drama, lies and confusion. We are there total opposite. We are very conservative: love our home, We do not drink, love going to church. We have a strict budget but enjoy a nice home and things. I love to cook, clean and entertain when I am able. Two SIL's always  behind on bills. Previously helped SIL's with rent and food then stopped because some people you can't help. SIL's told DH everything was great until he married me. DH stood up for me and told them never say bad things about me. They told many tales and turned  MIL against me. We do have a close relationship with another one of the sisters but DH  decided for us to no longer deal with the others. MIL currently in a nursing home with dementia but DH goes with one brother to visit and make sure that mother has what she needs. One of the SIL visited our church. She was in the foyer talking with one of the ministers . She told him several things about me. He told her: not a good thing to be saying and escorted her to the door. I had just came out of the Ladies bathroom. He told me to stay put and not move. Minister came back in laughing and shaking his head. Minister indicated we would be at the top of his prayer list !Minister called my DH that afternoon and said he would not repeat anything. DH said he could probably tell him word for word what his sister said!! They had a good laugh. I can truly say: I know what you are dealing with. SouthernBee

 Edit: Positive note- DH has three other siblings that live out of state that I have never met.

[debic]

It might just be me, but I'd be more offended that Hubby felt the need to shuffle me off.  He should have let you stay since I assume you were having a good time and told his sister to MYOB in front of you.

In 42 years I've had many ups and downs with siblings and inlaws.   Hubby has always had my back openly.

I would never let something like this stop me from attending a family get together.   I'm very good at ignoring, and if someone confronts me, I just tell them it's not an appropriate time or place and call me or come over if they 'need' to talk and then walk away.   That works for me anyway, and I'll be doing it again in July, only it will be with my sister.   

People can be odd and judgemental.  And who knows maybe it's me.   LOL

[AnikaBrodie]

Take the high road.  Attend the next family event and say nothing to SIL about her jealousy.  Nothing!

[Trinity11]

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@Still keeper of the koi wrote:

This weekend i attened a family function ,  I was talking to family members when my husband abruptly said we need to leave..when i was saying goodbyes  his sister  walked up to me and said i she better apologize when my parents  hear this im i will be in trouble... so on the way home my husband said his sister said she is embaressed by me, she went to visit her mother i was hanging out my laundrey she saw through  the woods, she saw me in an apron on the way put plant ing something..She told him you make a fourtune why is she doing these things,feeding mom and dad, canning cooking every night.she was shocked  that several  times a year i speak at an interfaith church  about loving  where you are planted. She said i should  know  my place...My husband  was very angry  and told her to mind her buisness. When we got home she called and begged him not to tell me or the family.I now feel strange about my   relashionship with  her.next  week is a graduation for a niece ,i really dont want to go.. should i set this aside or speak to her?    Bad situation  for  me..Thanks, Maryanne 

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Was his sister drinking? Maybe she was not herself. Give her a call and clear this up...clear the air.

[Still keeper of the koi]

My sil actually called me this morning, she apologized several times, she says  she is,angry at  the world, not very happy ,overtired.She also said she has been picking everybody apart, not just me ,everything is annoying to her.She heard my orther sil aking me to help plan a memorial  service and felt left out.I was surprised when she told me she had no right to be so  petty, i have always been kind to her children and her.She must have something going on , it isnt healthy to be so angry.She says no one wants her around , i really wanted to ask her what is going on but wont pry.I am glad she called, she says she  felt words coming out of her mouth and couldnt stop. I feel better knowing it wasnt about me.I told her we can move forward no hard feelings.She asked me to tell her brother  she is  sorry. I told her she  needs to address  this with him.I figure  she might tell him whay is really causing her unhappiness.I hope she finds some peace , we all deserve to be happy.Thank you all for the support...Hugs ,Maryanne 

[SaRina]

I'm laughing -- that's none of her dang business how you choose to live your life. What she said wouldn't make me feel funny or uncomfortable in any way. I have little regard for people like your SIL.

And if she ever says something directly to you about the way she thinks you should live.... tell her to "can" it, lolol!

[ROMARY]

Hey, I just thought of something.........'Could be' that the SIL is actually jealous of her brother, and tries to upset him by saying negative things about his kind wife (O/P).  All sorts of hidden reasons why not-so-nice people do and say things......UPDATE:  I just read O/P's update.  The SIL called O/P and apologized.   Great news!

[ROMARY]

Oooops.........I just read O/P's update!   So good that the SIL called O/P and apologized.   That's a huge step in the right direction.