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Honored Contributor
Posts: 16,329
Registered: ‎03-13-2010

Re: "You need to learn to relax"... what does that even mean?

I have been told this more times than I can even count!  Also, this goes along with --- "Quit worrying so much".  I think, for me, and probably many others, it's part of your personality.  When I worked, people used to tell me --- you always seem so calm, so in control!  HA --- I must have been really good at hiding my nerves and my anxiousness, because really, I worried constantly.  Am I doing a good enough job, will I get this done in time, how will I handle this client, etc., etc., etc.?  

 

It's all well and good for someone to tell you to relax, but it's not so easy to do it!  I am the type that definitely does not just go with the flow!  I always think about the "what ifs".  

 

I guess learning to relax is about slowing down, just taking things as they come, living in the moment and realizing you can't control everything and you can't do everything -- at least not all at the same time and in the same day!  

 

 

"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night." - Steve Martin
Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,140
Registered: ‎07-01-2012

Re: "You need to learn to relax"... what does that even mean?

This is my mindset concerning the matter.

 

When someone says/tells me I need to relax, I pause for a moment or so, and decide what is their attitude concerning me.

 

People define relaxing by doing what they want. Some meditate, some read, some have hobbies, and some just hang around. Some just can not understand what another individual's actions are and they see it as that person needs to relax.

 

As for myself, I see myself as an easy going individual but as a person who keeps going and always thinking. I can not "relax" by doing nothing. I do the things I want to do when I want to do them.

 

When someone tells me, relax, let that go and just sit, that statement is about their attitude, not mine, and I tell them that.

 

I am relaxed but they are not and they might become annoyed but that is their issue not mine.

 

You are going to retire soon and retirement for some is not easy.

For the moment you may be wondering what am I going to do.

 

You will find your own path and may be surprised by discovering things about yourself. You will learn what relaxing means to you.

 

Good Luck

 

Valued Contributor
Posts: 673
Registered: ‎08-31-2015

Re: "You need to learn to relax"... what does that even mean?

Take a walk, yoga, join the Gaming Forum Would love

for you play with us...

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,600
Registered: ‎04-28-2010

Re: "You need to learn to relax"... what does that even mean?

Relaxing means different things to different people.  Some people WANT to go, go, go.  Nothing wrong with that.  Sometimes we ARE relaxed just doing something that we truly want to do.  I feel I’m a pretty calm and relaxed person most of the time.  

 

If someone told me I needed to relax, I’m pretty sure I would be hurt.  My relaxing may not be YOUR relaxing.  That’s all.  Doesn’t make my way or your way right or wrong.  

 

Super Contributor
Posts: 429
Registered: ‎03-12-2010

Re: "You need to learn to relax"... what does that even mean?

"You need to learn to relax" means "You need to put up with my stuff".  I've had years of therapy to learn this!

 

Just kidding, sort of.  The older I got, the more relaxed I got about things, but I'm still "wound too tight". I read lots of books on meditation 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 9,874
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: "You need to learn to relax"... what does that even mean?

@Helen Bach 

 

I haven't seen your name in so long - perhaps we don't post on the same forums.  If I remember correctly, you are from the PNW. Perhaps I have you mixed up with someone else. In any case, it's good to hear from you and I agree with your advice.

~ house cat ~
Super Contributor
Posts: 429
Registered: ‎03-12-2010

Re: "You need to learn to relax"... what does that even mean?

Hi House-Cat and other ladies, yes, it's me.  So nice to be missed.  Yes from PNW by way of Ohio. I'm busy at the farm in summertime but will be back on the boards when it starts to rain for 6 months. (Soon)