"You need to learn to relax"... what does that eve... - Page 3

Boomernichols · ‎11-22-2013

@house_cat Take time for yourself, even the LORD rested on the seventh day! Do nothing, prop your feet up, have an iced tea, read a book, go for a walk with nature...

Sooner · ‎03-10-2010

@house_cat wrote:
On the outside, I'm a calm person. All but my closest friends see me that way, but underneath I'm a mess of nervous energy. I take everything seriously and always go above and beyond in anything I do. That's exhausting. My husband is constantly telling me, "You need to learn to relax"... especially now that I'm retiring. The problem is that I don't even know what that means. I don't know what relaxation looks like.

Help!
I'd love to know what "relaxing" means to you?

BTW: I'll have to get back to this thread tomorrow, because I'm about to bring 4 dozen cupcakes and 5 trays of baked ziti outside for our block party. I apologize if I don't respond to your posts right away.
Thank you.

@house_cat I am going to be honest here, so please take no offense: I think it means your bustling about is irritating him and he needs more quiet and peaceful time than he is getting.

I'd say if you are up and working or doing, schedule a lot of it in other rooms where you are letting him have some time to read or just be without activity swirling around and conversations or questions and comments to interrupt his peace. It's called wearing someone slick.

Don't ask me how I know this, but trust me, I KNOW!

PuppyLoverBob666 · ‎12-17-2021

Excellent advice!

My idea of relaxation is being able to do--or not do--anything I want and, especially, with no deadlines. I'm retired now and it's so nice to be able to set my own agenda without the pressure and stress of deadlines (for many years I worked in busy, high stress environments and it took a toll). I still do but they're ones that I have to do--like paying bills--and they don't stress me out too much because of the satisfaction I get out of getting them done and taken care of till next time.

PuppyLoverBob666 · ‎12-17-2021

@Vivian wrote:
I am currently living with some horrific stressors. My husband with Alzheimer's had a stroke and is in a very expensive but very good health care facility. My 100 year old mother is dying. She's on Hospice and I await the call at any moment. My beagle has soft tissue sarcoma and is terminal. People tell me to relax and take care of myself. I know that advice is well-intentioned but it really is easier said than done. I try to find quiet time at home. I read, watch old movies (saw Barry Lyndon last night), talk and text to my friends, and do puzzles to focus my mind elsewhere. And then there's Zoloft.

Bless your heart. It sounds like you've got a lot on your plate and you're dealing with it as best you can. And if anyone gives you static for using zoloft, ignore them. If it weren't for Zolpidem. I'd drop dead from lack of sleep.

PuppyLoverBob666 · ‎12-17-2021

Throughout my life, having no concern about things over which I have no control, has made everyday life, easier to always be mentally calm.

John this is VERY GOOD advice though sometimes it's hard to let go. I also have found that doing what I can and not worrying about what I can't do anything about has been very relaxing.

Zhills · ‎11-15-2011

I do understand! I can do nothing, read, go for a walk, shop or window shop, sip a drink, sit and rock!...It doesn't matter how "calm" I might look, my insides are still churning! "Learn to relax!" Fake it 'til you make it doesn't do it!

Sometimes, I silently chant, "There is nothing you can change in the next 12 hours. Be calm for now!"

house_cat · ‎03-09-2010

Thank you! I always get good advice from my forum friends.

This past Friday I went to see a specialist about a medical issue I've been dealing with. The news I got from him was rather positive, and that helps my frame of mind... but in addition to that it was such a blessing to be able to spend the morning taking care of all that involved, without worrying if things were blowing up at work in my absence.

I really think that having more time to do the things we need to do will be relaxing, even if those things are not relaxing in themselves. Not sure if I'm making sense, but thanks for all the helpful words.

~ house cat ~

Sage04 · ‎07-10-2011

@house_cat a question for you. What month were you born?

Sage04 · ‎07-10-2011

@Zhills wrote:
I do understand! I can do nothing, read, go for a walk, shop or window shop, sip a drink, sit and rock!...It doesn't matter how "calm" I might look, my insides are still churning! "Learn to relax!" Fake it 'til you make it doesn't do it!

Sometimes, I silently chant, "There is nothing you can change in the next 12 hours. Be calm for now!"

@Zhills what? There is nothing you can change in 12 hours? I'm usually calm but can't relax. At my physical exams my Dr would ask me to relax and I would say "but I am" and she would laugh and say "you are not".

I'm the type of person that could throw a party together in an hour. I keep reminding my family that I am a "middle child" and I can't help it. I'm always there when needed but at the same time I'm happy, and that's what counts.