Reply
Highlighted
Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,104
Registered: ‎07-25-2010

Re: Dreading my Husband's Return


@NYC Susan wrote:

@Reever wrote:

@alicedee wrote:

@Whatnow wrote:

@Icegoddess I get it.My dh is very messy too.His mom never thought men should have to clean up behind themselves and he has committed to that.


These are the same men who carry that mentality into the workplace.  I worked in offices for over 40 years.  There was always a break room/kitchen.  The men NEVER wiped up a spill, started another pot of coffee when they took the last cup (or left a fraction of an ounce still on the burner), washed a dish or cup, cleaned their old food out of the refrigerator, or replaced a used up toilet paper roll in the staff bathroom.

 

I sometimes dreamed of leaving big notes around, saying "Your mother doesn't work here.....clean up after yourself."  


 

Newsflash: all men are slobs. I know there may be a small handful who arent. I know Dan Hughes says he is always cleaning. 


 

I disagree.  I have known very, very few men who I would consider to be slobs.  I would never agree that all men are slobs - or even most.


 

I don't think all men are slobs either....my ex was tidy and helped around the house...he probably did his share in his work break room, too!  Sadly, my experience in the several offices I worked in through my career was filled with men who left messes for others ( translated: women) to clean.  I don't even think they did it consciously, thinking "Patsy Lou and Mary will clean up in here".....they were just oblivious that they should do it.

Highlighted
Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,250
Registered: ‎05-27-2013

Re: Dreading my Husband's Return

Your post made me smile 

@Icegoddess, because it is just the opposite in our house.  DH  went to military school throughout his primary and secondary education.  He is neat, tidy and organized.  I am the one who is a slob!  He goes around the house picking up my shoes, books and whatever else I left lying where I used it last.  The best part is, he never complains about my less than perfect habits. 

 

I knew there was yet another reason I'm in love with that guy!

Highlighted
Honored Contributor
Posts: 11,618
Registered: ‎10-25-2010

Re: Dreading my Husband's Return

I don't get the man bashing.  It's not nice and the statements aren't true.  All men are not alike.

Highlighted
Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,180
Registered: ‎03-19-2010

Re: Dreading my Husband's Return


@VegasBusinessWoman wrote:

Your post made me smile 

@Icegoddess, because it is just the opposite in our house.  DH  went to military school throughout his primary and secondary education.  He is neat, tidy and organized.  I am the one who is a slob!  He goes around the house picking up my shoes, books and whatever else I left lying where I used it last.  The best part is, he never complains about my less than perfect habits. 

 

I knew there was yet another reason I'm in love with that guy!


@VegasBusinessWoman Neither one of us are clean freaks.  I would love to have a spotless house, but I just don't enjoy cleaning, and it would be a futile effort with 3 cats, my husband, and even me.  I just wish he would throw more stuff away, or at the very least, take it all up to his man cave, like his junk mail.  I'm working on culling out my recipe books.  Lord knows I don't really need them since I don't cook that much and you can find most any recipe you need on the internet.  

 

I may not be a clean freak, but I do enjoy clean once it's done, and would like to prolong the time it stays clean.  

Highlighted
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,347
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Dreading my Husband's Return

I'm neater than my husband of 40 years. He has a problem with his 'follow through.' Wish being orderly meant as much to him as it does me. Not going to happen. I don't think its the intention of poster to man bash. But I will jump in and say when I'm around females who man bash, it gives me a tension headache. I no longer tolerate being around it and I will speak up. I don't like it when anyone speaks ill of their spouses.  

"I took a walk in the woods and came out taller than the trees." Henry David Thoreau
Highlighted
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,728
Registered: ‎03-13-2010

Re: Dreading my Husband's Return


@CARMIE wrote:

I don't get the man bashing.  It's not nice and the statements aren't true.  All men are not alike.


 

I've noticed a lot of man bashing on these forums.  And overall generalizations too.  I don't understand that.  Not all men are alike just as not all women are alike.  And the same goes for age, geographical location, etc.  

Highlighted
Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,909
Registered: ‎04-10-2012

Re: Dreading my Husband's Return

My DH was kind of a “ blank slate” so to speak, because he was bounced around different foster homes as a kid, so he didn’t really know much about a home life etc. He knows how important it is to me so he is a sweetie about picking up after himself for the most part. 🥰

Highlighted
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,565
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Dreading my Husband's Return


@NYC Susan wrote:

@Reever wrote:

@alicedee wrote:

@Whatnow wrote:

@Icegoddess I get it.My dh is very messy too.His mom never thought men should have to clean up behind themselves and he has committed to that.


These are the same men who carry that mentality into the workplace.  I worked in offices for over 40 years.  There was always a break room/kitchen.  The men NEVER wiped up a spill, started another pot of coffee when they took the last cup (or left a fraction of an ounce still on the burner), washed a dish or cup, cleaned their old food out of the refrigerator, or replaced a used up toilet paper roll in the staff bathroom.

 

I sometimes dreamed of leaving big notes around, saying "Your mother doesn't work here.....clean up after yourself."  


 

Newsflash: all men are slobs. I know there may be a small handful who arent. I know Dan Hughes says he is always cleaning. 


 

I disagree.  I have known very, very few men who I would consider to be slobs.  I would never agree that all men are slobs - or even most.


@NYC Susan  - I'm with you. My DH is very neat. We're married over 50 years and I never have to clean up after him for anything. He actually cleans up more than I do. And a little secret: he's a lot neater than I am. There's no reason to allow your husband or mate to be a slob.

The measure of any Society is how it treats its women and girls.
~~Michelle Obama
Highlighted
Honored Contributor
Posts: 27,750
Registered: ‎03-12-2010

Re: Dreading my Husband's Return

I remember hearing once ( paraphrasing) “Every morning we/I/you wake up and decide if we/you/I want to be married.  It’s a choice.”

 

During the 38 years I was married ( before he died) for one reason or another there were times we were separated; either by 2 jobs and going to school or developing property in other states.

 

Some of our best conversations were when he’d call and say, “ I miss you.  Let’s talk”.  

 

That said, we were total opposites.  But “it” worked.  Boy!  Did it work!  

 

On reason “it” worked was because we had time away from each other.  My late husband was my lover and my best friend.

 

I taught my girls, “ There’s no such thing as the ‘good old days’....enjoy your life every day....know what you have and appreciate it”.

 

I think it’s good that the OP’s given herself ‘permission’ to understand it’s healthy to enjoy alone time, accept people as they are and enjoy every minute of life...warts and all...

 

My late husband would have alphabetically lined up the cans in the cabinet.  As for me?  Well let’s just say, that’s the last thing on my mind.

 

I think it’s true...opposites attract....well...it did in our case. Married in less than 3 months from when I saw him across a room.  It would have been less time but we had to wait for the church.

 

 

Highlighted
Honored Contributor
Posts: 27,750
Registered: ‎03-12-2010

Re: Dreading my Husband's Return

I forgot to tell the OP to get that Lori Grenier thing that sits at the top ( inside) of the microwave.

 

Its always there and available!  It works great.  I have 2 and love them.

 

Number is H214691...