Among Friends

[Chrystaltree2]

Sorry for your loss.  That's just the way extended family is, they aren't being phonies. They mourn for him but when they talk about missing him and feeling his loss; they are talking about your father when he was younger, healthier and involved.  They miss the "memory" of your father from the good times.  That's why they didn't see him in his later years, that's not how they wanted to see or remember him.  Remember "extended" family never has the responsibility that immediate family has and even when they say they will "be there" to help.  They won't be.  They have their own lives and their own responsibilities.  You were close to him and you had the niece and I'm sure your dad felt blessed and happy to have the two of you.  You did well by him.   You vented and now you have to accept people for who they are and keep things in perspective.  Let the anger go.  It's pointless.

[qbetzforreal]

My condolences.  I remember your posts when you were starting to take care of your father.

[ECBG]

I'm so very sorry for your loss.

I know that people (relatives too) who "do" funerals are hard to deal with.

[tashy]

yes it has been an intresting journey, but I enjoyed the time I spent with him,these last 3 yrs.,

[CelticCrafter]

When my dad passed away, I tried to maintain a relationship with my aunts and uncles but it was a one sided relationship and eventually I stopped trying.

I started to feel it wasn't welcomed and they made me feel that once he died the blood line and family ties did too.

The only time any of them called me voluntarily was when my brother and sister passed away.  

My sister will be gone 4 years next month and I haven't heard from any of them since then.

[Newgate]

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@CelticCrafter wrote:

When my dad passed away, I tried to maintain a relationship with my aunts and uncles but it was a one sided relationship and eventually I stopped trying.

I started to feel it wasn't welcomed and they made me feel that once he died the blood line and family ties did too.

The only time any of them called me voluntarily was when my brother and sister passed away.  

My sister will be gone 4 years next month and I haven't heard from any of them since then.

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@CelticCrafter  I can definitely relate to that!!  Take care!

[blackhole99]

Sounds like you were very close to your Dad and your family just relied on you to take care of everything. I think a lot of families are like that, I know mine is. We all have our own problems and crosses to bear and  I appreciate that my family does not burden me with theirs. Of course if any of us needs help we never refuse a request for assistance,  but we usually do not offer help in advance. I really would rather hire someone to help me out than burden my family.

[20sally]

Condolences to you @tashy.

[Tinkrbl44]

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@CelticCrafter wrote:

When my dad passed away, I tried to maintain a relationship with my aunts and uncles but it was a one sided relationship and eventually I stopped trying.

I started to feel it wasn't welcomed and they made me feel that once he died the blood line and family ties did too.

The only time any of them called me voluntarily was when my brother and sister passed away.  

My sister will be gone 4 years next month and I haven't heard from any of them since then.

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@CelticCrafter

Yeah, but I bet that if you won the Lottery, they'd all become your long lost best friends and you'd NEVER get rid of them!!!