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Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,348
Registered: ‎03-29-2019

I also wanted to add to tell your doctor about your depression, and if he/she prescribes anti-depressants TAKE THEM.

 

 

 

The Sky looks different when you have someone you love up there.
Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,882
Registered: ‎05-22-2014

I agree that you should make an appointment with your doctor.  Tell him/her exactly how you feel.  It is nothing to be ashamed about.  Perhaps some medication will help get you through this, and you might consider where you can find someone to talk to about your situation.  Explain how your finances are a problem right now.

 

I am sympathetic to you.  Sometimes life throws us curve balls all at once.  Hurts and worries.  You will get over this.  You have gotten some good suggestions here.  Being outside, taking a walk, etc., will help.  I wish you the very best and will pray you get the support and comfort you need.

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,491
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

Sometimes your plans don't work out because God has better ones.  That is what I try to remember when things don't 'go my way', as planned.  If it is any comfort to you, please realize that 'it happens to us all' at one time or another.  I suggest finding your strength in a 'higher power'.  It's what has held me together for all these years.  God's peace be with you.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,136
Registered: ‎03-19-2010

I know what it is like to be trapped in your own life and see no light at the end of the tunnel.  You cannot see a way out now and maybe right now there is none but see a doctor and get on some medication.  I know from experience they are not happy pills and won't make you happy but they will turn off the tears and emotions so you can make some decisions based something other than emotion.  As bad as things seem now they can look different with some help and time.  When people say get therapy they don't understand the cost and time it takes and you need something fairly fast to get throught this.  See your doctor asap.  

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,611
Registered: ‎06-25-2014

@shortbreadlover , i just want you to know i am praying for you.  

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,755
Registered: ‎12-02-2013

@shortbreadlover 

 

As many posters have said,  things look and feel worse when we are tired or physically impaired.  Some have suggested formal or informal therapy with friends / family.  Certainly the Suicide Prevention Hotline is worth a try....they may help bridge the gap until you can afford private therapy.

 

Change, good or bad, is never smooth.  You are in the throes of many changes, both physical and positional.  I understand totally about being in a job where promotions are not given to those who earned them; about being taken for granted; about being in a financial bind caused by medical conditions, etc.

 

One way of coping with the work situation that you probably need to stay with for a period of time is to compartmentalize:  confine the work situation to the time you need to be on the premises.  Do not look for ways to do more than your job requires and do not stay past quit time.  

 

Outside of work, banish all thoughts of it:  you are not being paid for the energy and it only gets you deeper down.  At some point, things may change or you may change jobs.

 

Eyesight:  this is totally beyond your ability to change what may happen.  Consider how to improve your ability to move around your environment.  Streamline where you can.

 

To get more positive into your life now while things are on the negative side, try to redirect your energy and thoughts to helping others:  volunteering in a structured way can bring relief to the pain you are suffering.

 

From reading your other posts, you have enjoyed the incidental help you have given to others who pass through the library doors and crossed your path.  Why not invest some time and energy in a more focused way where you can impactothers’’ lives more positively and consistently ?

 

It is one way of accentuating the positive and minimizing the negative until your situation improves.  Sometimes by just changing a little thing, other things begin to happen.  

 

You never know when someone you helped comes back into your life in an unexpected way that changes everything.

 

Change is constant.  You will pass through the tough times and during the journey you will touch others and help them through theirs.  You are needed in this world: help those who need you.  You have the strength to make a difference.

 

Having been in a very difficult situation early in my career, I prayed for help and promised if helped that I would help anyone else who crossed my path.  Living up to that promise has made all the difference !

 

Good Luck in your endeavors !

 

 

We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give.
Sir Winston Churchill
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,951
Registered: ‎07-07-2010

@shortbreadlover  My heart is breaking for you as I read your post, and like many here, I have been there.  I just read a post on FB that said sometimes you just need to distance yourself to see things more clearly.  Not always easy to do when it seems like things continue to get worse instead of better.

 

Finding a good and qualified counselor can be difficult, but many take payment on a sliding scale.  If you don't feel comfortable or just don't think that you can afford it, you might want to seek out clergy, even if you are not religious.  They are many non-denominational churches.  If you are alone, you might want to go on FB and join the Elder Orphans group and you might even find people who live in your area.  Making new friends can change your perspective and give you a reason.

 

If you have a close friend who you trust not to talk about you to anyone, please seek that person out.   Also, your family doctor can help.  Your doctor can, hopefully, direct you to a eye doctor who possibly can help.  I don't know where you live, but when I had my accident, my neurologist sent me to an eye doctor who literally saved my life.  They are out there but it is not always easy to find them.

 

Once you start to feel better, you might want to ask your supervisor why you were passed over for the promotion and get definite answers.  Do not do this until you are feeling better.

 

If you have the time to volunteer, please get out there and do it.  Or, take a class.  Just get out of the house, do something fun every week (or every day!), to meet people.  It is not as hard as it sounds, but you just have to push yourself out the door to start.  I have done it and know how difficult it is.

 

If you have the funds, take a drive, a weekend trip, or an overnight trip someplace, even if it is just to drive to the beach.  

 

Everyone on this board cares about you, so post as much as you need.  We are the friends who you can confide in if you don't have a close friend.  We can be the "counselors" and the cheerleaders.  Please just post.

The next time that I hear salt and ice together, it better be in a margarita!
Occasional Contributor
Posts: 9
Registered: ‎01-24-2014

Please turn to the Lord, He is the only one that can help you.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,451
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: i am at my wit's end

[ Edited ]

@shortbreadlover wrote:

right now  i just do not know what to do.  first my eye and then i got passed over for the promotion.  i feel that i am trapped  and there is just no way out.  everywhere i turn i hit a dead end.  the dr did  not hold out much hope that i would get much vision back in my eye ,  i am so tired of everything being a downer in my life.  i miss my family so much and i wish that i could join them.  i have no hope for the future and nothing to look forward to at all. 

 

i am so tired hitting my head against a wall and nothing working out for me.  i feel that i was cheated by not getting  the postion  ,   i feel that  i was patted on head and then stabbed in the back.  i can't quit as much as i would like  to do so.medical bills are keeping me from doing so .

 

i just want this pain to end or end it all

 

 


 

I've been in your shoes.  I had eye surgery for a torn retina and now have big floaters that interfere with my vision.  I have struggled with depression and anxiety ever since a traumatic event years ago.  I lost Mom 17 months ago and really struggled after that.  I found a therapist last year who used a newer kind of therapy - EMDR.  It uses both sides of the brain instead of just talk therapy (one side). It also taught me techniques to handle my stress etc on my own.  I finished a year ago and still use those techniques. It was incredible and completely changed my life.  

 

I was stabbed in the back at work too.  I worked for nearly 40 years for what became a Fortune 500 company and always had excellent performance reviews.  This company changed a lot.  They used to value employees.   Management above me began to abuse employees. I was also a senior manager but I was on the receiving end the last year I worked there, mostly because I refused to mistreat my teams.  In my division, it was common to hear mgmt making fun of employees, calling them names to their faces, ridiculing them, or punishing them for perceived wrongs. They cheated me out of a promotion and an annual bonus and lied on my last performance review (which I refused to sign).  My prayer then was to make it to age 62 because my pension would be 100%.  I retired the day I turned 62 which turned out to be the best decision of my life.  I worked parttime in customer service at a grocery store until recently.  It was fun and freeing...and I didn't have any management responsibilities.  

 

Bottom line....over the years, every time things were so bad that I wanted to crawl in a hole or didn't think I'd make it through, something good eventually happened.  We have to be in a certain place at the right time, mentally and literally.  We have to be open to what the future holds even if things are lousy for a while.  

 

Please, see a therapist asap.  

Honored Contributor
Posts: 23,268
Registered: ‎05-10-2010

Stuff happens in life.  We have those periods during which everything seems to go wrong for us and it seems hopeless.  You should see a therapist.  You need some professional help, a therapist will let you vent and give you some coping mechanisms.