how to not be offended by family..... - Page 6

MalteseMomma · ‎03-09-2010

@dogsx3 wrote:
i am really trying hard, i think i am the only one who got the " sensitive chip" in my family. I really don't want to go to funeral service

@dogsx3

You say this was back in the 80's ...... OMG, It is now 2017 !

I have to ask, are you to be punished forever????? Doesn't anyone in your family forgive mistakes?

Forgive yourself ,keep the ring and move on!

goldensrbest · ‎03-10-2010

If the person that passed is the same person that gave you this gift,i would need to go to the funeral, out of respect. I would hold my head high,and go .The past is just that.

When you lose some one you L~O~V~E, that Memory of them, becomes a TREASURE.

TaylorBrown · ‎02-19-2014

If the item was GIVEN to you and you want it, keep it. Only if you do not want it, should you consider gfiving it back. Sounds like whoever contacted you is a bully. If this is how they have always treated you, it will surprise them to have you say no to them.

ScarletDove · ‎07-11-2010

@dogsx3 wrote:
I was being honest with all so they knew what was going on. Never thoght of selling it, not worth that much, just offended.

Daisy, look how far you have come, please, please don't let someone at this point offend you. I know it is family, and I do know the depth of emotionality even in spite of past situations, but your life is different now so try not to let it interfere with reason. Stand tall, decide the personal value of this memorable gift; if it makes you smile, enjoy; if it makes you frown, you decide its fate.

reiki604 · ‎03-09-2010

If anyone asks if you are keeping the ring in the family, just smile and say 'yes, mine'. I would try to concentrate on how these people owe you an apology and if it's not forthcoming then the onus is on them. you have lived your life, for better or for worse, and nobody has the right or authority ti judge you. Stop being so hard on yourself. Your mom loved you and gave you a gift and it's nobody else's business regardless if they think it is. Head up and be proud and pay respects to your Mom. To heck with anyone else. Unless you are dependent on them for your life and livlihood, you owe them nothing.

'I refuse to engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed man'.......Unknown

dogsx3 · ‎02-05-2011

Thank you all for responding. I am going to try my hardest to not let them get into any more of my thoughts, it is a waste of my time to keep trying. I am going to concentrate on my wonderful kids, they realy are, and i am very thankful to have them. Thanks so much for being there and taking the time to offer your thoughts, it really means a lot to me, and maybe other people who do not have anyone else to chat with.

Sooner · ‎03-10-2010

@dogsx3 wrote:
When i was younger i did some things i am not proud of. Long story short, wound up pregnant and had to go on welfare. I moved back home, and wasn't sure what to do it was in eary 80's.
I recently was given a piece of jewelry after passing of someone close. I let all people who were close know about it, and asked them if anyone had a problem with it. well.... just got a message from one of them, and they wanted to know if i plan on selling it, because they want it to stay in the family. Yes they are all well off, and successful. Yes my life has been harder, and i know i was always looked down upon. (Still am)
My first thought is to pack it up and mail it to the person, I still think thats whats best.
What would you do ?

I don't see any reason on earth to be offended if the person asked if you wnat to sell it give someone in the family first change. I think that is a reasonable request and you opened the door for the discussion.

I also don't think people need tohang on to stuff because it was given to them. At any point if you want or need to sell it, give the family first crack at a retail price and sell it. No harm no fault.

Stuff is never a measure of a relationship, and you were GIVEN it to do with it as you please. Don't feel one shred of guilt no matter what you do, but to me the offer to buy it only makes logical sense after your message. I wouldn'tgive that a second thought.

Best wishes!

goldensrbest · ‎03-10-2010

@dogsx3, don't know your age but ,i am 65 done some things in my life i wish i had not done , i think if we all would be honest most people have,life is a journey a learning process.

When you lose some one you L~O~V~E, that Memory of them, becomes a TREASURE.

occasionalrain · ‎03-10-2010

Your mother wanted you to have it. To give it away is disrespectful to her. Keep it and stop asking your relatives to hurt you.

dogsx3 · ‎02-05-2011

@goldensrbest wrote:
@dogsx3, don't know your age but ,i am 65 done some things in my life i wish i had not done , i think if we all would be honest most people have,life is a journey a learning process.

Thank you so much for your kind honest response. Being part of the "family" i am in, i seem to be the only one can who admit to things i have done. I can let go of my past, it's

them who seem to want to hang on to it. We do not communicate much, years in fact. It is just now because of my moms passing we have talked a little. i am sure after the ceremony there will be no contact.