Among Friends

[terriebear]

@Mom2Dogs

The message that you received was typical for a 16 year old, and I feel that you are making a mountain out of a molehill.  This is how someone of her age communicates. This is how adults who frequently text communicate. Quick and to the point when texting.  They do not say hello, Dear Grandma,  How are you? etc.  This is NOT done in texting, and certainly not done by teenagers, or even adults who frequently text.  This is point of texting.  It is done on keys that are less than a quarter inch square and it is not made for long sentences.  There are many words that have universal shortcuts, which is the point of texting.  You are expecting way too much.  

[sydsgma1]

My grands text me all the time without a hi..

so do my friends and family....I never think anything of it. I am very happy that they like sharing their lives with me.

By tye way, in the business world, emails are commonly used to thank. 

[spot555]

Just because some people frequently use these methods doesn't make it right. I'm not buying it, & I really don't like it. 

People have become too attached to their stupid devices, & detached from human interactions. I think it's pathetic. 

The OP doesn't hear from her granddaughter very often. The email was impersonal & cold. That's where the life lesson comes in. She needs to be shown, that's all....then see how she responds in the future. 

[LdyBugz]

@Mom2Dogs  I agree with everyone else that thinks the text was rude.  It's the "or not" that bothers me.

Texting might be the way of the world today, but it shouldn't discount common courtesy.   

[sunshine45]

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@stevieb wrote:

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@sunshine45 wrote:

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@viva923 wrote:

that is a typical way a 16 yr old talks. I wouldn't read much into the question.

My 13 yr old grand daughter oh my gosh, that is way she texts, emails and such

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i agree.

texts......they like to get right to the point.....which is the point of texting.

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The problem with overlooking and simply excusing it because 'that's the way they roll' is that it negates the fact that much of life really is a two-way street and it isn't always about the way any of us typically does things... We need to make concessions but then so do 'they'... We all do...

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my kids text me and dont always say hello.....i text them and dont always say hello. ....same with friends. pick and choose your battles and concessions. i agree with others that think this is NOT a big deal and if it was, then she should say something about it directly if if is THAT bothersome.

[ROMARY]

It's an era of abbreviation for many/some kids/tweens/teens.  Some/many adults, too.  I'm only guessing that their parents are abbreviators, too.  If not, they should probably 'encourage' their kids.  Start early.  At the age of two, three, etc.  Call grandma 'Grandma'.   Doesn't cost a dime to be courteous.   One or two extra words in their emails.  'Hi, Grandma!'  Maybe even add in a heart . 

[qvcaddition]

@OKPrincess

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@OKPrincess wrote:

They want their presents after all it's Christmas. As for the other 364 days of the year.........I guess Grandma doesn't exist.

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That is the real truth. Some grandparent don,f get it and keep giving hoping they will throw them a crumb.  Today,s manner are there are none.  I have quit giving to the ill mannered and ungrateful.  Saved a lot of money and hassle at Christmas 

[on the bay]

Now wait-

For those who say its no big deal or this is the way of texting, or "this is how they communicate, or that you text your grandkids and kids this way all the time-I don't think all these apply to this situation at all!

If she hasnt heard or communicated with her grandaughter since seeing her last christmas, and sees this text, I don't believe anyone would feel comfortable with this or good about it, or good about the relationship.

Its hurtful and rude and trying to excuse it as this is the way its done, does not apply here.

I doubt any of you who say you text all the time would feel that way about receiving this once a year communication-"Are we getting together this year for Christmas or not?"

I think any person with feelings would feel she did not really care about me and show me also that I would need to work on this relationship if I wanted to have it be a meaningful one.

Many children are taught at a very young age how to be thoughtful and respectful and yes thankful! I was, my children were, and my grandkids are too. There are many like this but many children and adults who were never taught.

Applying the golden rule always works and I think most would have to admit that this email or few words would not make them feel good at all, especially being the only thing she'd heard from her for a year, plus no acknowledgement of ever receiving any gifts from her.

Saying she is making too much of this or if this is all she had to worry about, is to say the least not helpful, and not understanding of her situation, (as opposed to yours) and if put in the same situation I doubt any would be so above it all and not hurt by it.

And maybe I'm making too much of this but I really want to say, no, its not okay!

And its not okay to increasingly ignore or lose meaningful communication under the excuse of technology and that "this is the way its done". Our increasing use of technology and social media, as others have pointed out here, should not destroy any idea of being thoughtful of others. People matter and they do more than that precious ipad,iphone, Aiyiyi!

[CelticCrafter]

I can be quite snarky at times so I probably would have texted back, I don't know, are we?

I know, two wrongs don't make it right.

[VaBelle35]

This was an email, not a text.

When my parents divorced, my grandparents were very important to me.  I was lucky to have all 4 of them around until well into my 20s and glad that they were close by until I moved away.

Punishing the child for the sins of the parents (and society) for not teachign and reinforcing good manners in communication is your choice.