Among Friends

[SXMGirl]

@dogsx3  Maybe your friend should go with her husband and see this "girl" for herself, or she can learn how to play this game that he enjoys so much.  I think that he told her of his attraction is good and he probably felt flattered.  

Funny story:  Years ago, while visiting DH's home town, one of my SIL's friends told him that he would do so much better with her (I was right there listening).  DH starts laughing because he knew what was coming.  I explained to her that I lived in a state where we had been married long enough that my lifestyle would continue and she would be paying for it.  My SIL probably set this up, but the room suddenly became very quiet.  

[qbetzforreal]

Attraction doesn't end at a certain age. The 60s aren't old.

If your friend is bothered by her husband's disclosure and she wants him to stop playing, then all she can do is ask.

[KarenQVC]

I don't have a good feeling about this on so many levels.  I would ask my husband to spend time with me learning a new activity.  Then he could just tell the tennis group that he was spending this time with his wife and bow out of the group without drama.

[jannabelle1]

The only thing I'll say is that my ex-husband (22 years of marriage) started mentioning a woman at work, and that he felt sorry for her since she was divorced and was raising her youngest son who was in high school. It never occurred to me at first that he was attracted to her....until he kept mentioning her. Well guess what - they were attracted to each other and he eventually said he wanted a "trial separation" so he could "find himself". What he did was move in with her.

My advice to you is to tell your friend to be very observant and take care of herself. It may be harmless, but I doubt it. He's trying to tell your friend something, and she needs to figure out what's going on. A happily married man does not "play games" with another woman that often and then tell his wife that he's attracted to that woman. She needs to have a serious discussion with him.

[NYCLatinaMe]

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@dogsx3 wrote:

I am the last person to be giving advice or dealing with this kind of problem. To put it simply....her husband admitted to being attracted to girl he plays a senior game with a few nights or weekend mornings.... She thinks he should stop going....but he likes the game....any thoughts? The game includes other people also, can be 2 or 4 people playing.

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I agree with @jannabelle1 and @Witchywoman.  I agree that there can be attraction or even flirting without wanting to cheat, but he brought this up.  Unless he says things like this all the time, he is starting a conversation, testing to see how she reacts. I think it is likely something is already happening.  Maybe she should suggest couples counseling, so she has a facilitator to help her handle whatever else is going on. These conversations are hard, even if it ends up being a benign thing.

[Calcgirl]

His telling your friend (his wife) he is attracted to another woman should be a wake up call to his wife.  I worked with a man who's wife seldom joined him in any activities; she was either not interested or too tired. She also let herself go physically and although they were in their late 40's early 50's she started looking frumpy.  Well, her best friend would go and play golf with him, etc.  I am sure you know what happened, they had an affair and fell in love. He asked his wife for a divorce and she was devestated and asked him why.  He told her they were married singles for too long and he wanted someone who wished to share living and feeling alive with him and found it with her best friend.  By the way her best friend was hot looking and did take care of herself.  They ended up getting married, when they  retired from teaching they traveled or travel all over, took up tennis, etc. 

I know my late hubby who was a darn good looking man and sweet as can be attracted woman because they told me.  We shared interests and activities together and I made sure I was  in shape and looked good.  I also kept his libido drained. Lol   

[CelticCrafter]

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@dogsx3 wrote:

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@January121 wrote:

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@dogsx3 wrote:

I am the last person to be giving advice or dealing with this kind of problem. To put it simply....her husband admitted to being attracted to girl he plays a senior game with a few nights or weekend mornings.... She thinks he should stop going....but he likes the game....any thoughts? The game includes other people also, can be 2 or 4 people playing.

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@dogsx3 ..... what is a “senior game” ??? ... sounds like something sexual ??? .... if that’s the case he shouldn’t be “playing” ... I also think this is not your concern & you should let the husband & wife deal with their own marital problems 😊

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no its a game like tennis.... and i am her friend and was asked. i am going to let her read these.

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Just my opinion, myob, stay out of it.

[CalminHeart]

If he was my husband, he'd have to choose...the game or me.  If he really loved me, he would end things with this group.  He could always find another one.

[Sooner]

My honest opinion here:  I think the wife should share any concerns openly and honestly with HER HUSBAND and not be sharing with a friend about it.

To me that's a bad sign in itself.  And it's saying bad things about her spouse.  Things like that should be ironed out with them, not someone else. 

[Imaoldhippie]

Well there are several thoughts I have.....

1.  How old is this GIRL?

2.  At the husbands age is he physically able to do anything  about it?  Does he take the blue pill?

3.  Thinking some one is attractive and has a good personality I guess could be considered being attracted to someone, especially when one is having socially interactive good time.

4.  I have a friend (much younger than me, late 40's)  her husband is a total hunk, good looking, kind, funny, etc.   I guess you could say I could be attracted to him.  

5.  If hubby wants to cheat he will find a way no matter if he quits the game or not.

6.  I think the husband is a nut job for telling her.  I think he was very unkind to his wife by telling her and this is just the tip of the iceberg.

I think the wife should find something she likes to do and make friends (male and female) and do her best not to worry.