good friend problem....opinions please.... - Page 4

millieshops · ‎03-09-2010

I’d be more concerned if he were keeping his attraction a secret.

santorini · ‎03-09-2010

Maybe it was a simple comment about a girl -- "That girl is pretty" or "that lady certainly dresses well." Maybe he didn't admit to being "attracted" to her.

CANDLEQUEEN · ‎03-09-2010

This is such a tough situation, I would be curious to know if the woman is attracted to him as well, because if she isn't, then it makes the situation a lot easier......

Part of me says great he told his wife, he is being honest, but part of me is like well the wife said she felt something was off and we always listen to our guts about things, so I don't know.

I think I would be showing up at these games and paying very close attention to everything that is said and done first of all!I think after careful observation she may be in a better position to decide how to proceed!

Good Luck to her, and kudos for listening to her gut! So many women and men too don't.......

RINNI · ‎02-18-2018

My question- Has her friend ever gone with him to "play these games too" Maybe he's just getting her attention and might welcome her coming along. If she suggests this and he hesitates-then she at least knows she has something te be suspicious of.

Then go from there.

lovesrecess · ‎03-14-2010

Any man can be tempted even if they love someone and are married....I am speaking from personal experience. I would have LOVED to have had a friend at the time who I could have confided in and get advice from. One thing your friend could do is start going to the game with her husband. Since he admitted he was attracted to another woman, at least he was being honest...but he should be volunteering to just stop going and maybe he and his wife should find something they can do together.

Witchy Woman · ‎03-15-2010

@dogsx3

I've not read any of the other responses, but will offer my views.

If he has admitted to this, it has likely gone further than just being attracted. In that case, she may be in for a very long, painful ride of an "emotional affair" which will likely turn physical if it hasn't already gotten there or close.

Telling him to stop will do nothing. He will lie and gaslight her and say whatever it is she wants to hear. They are probably texting/talking/calling multiple times a day now.

Sadly, there is probably nothing she can do or say to change his mind at this point. He's not going to give it up and has told her so.

Other than seeking emotional counseling, I have no other advice. Any person with any sense would understand how hurtful this might be to his/her partner. Continuing to do so inflicts more pain. Sometimes, they just don't care.

My knowledge is first hand, so not just making things up.

dulwich · ‎01-18-2012

I don't think you should get involved.

If my DH made this confession, I would listen, be understanding, let him know I am not happy about it at all - then I'd smack him around the head and go shopping!

Anonymous032819 · ‎03-29-2019

There is finding another human being attractive, and then there is acting on it.

Two different things.

Hell, my own mother would say to my dad, "She's pretty".

Did that mean that an affair was afoot?

No, it was just one human being noticing that another human being was attractive, nothing more.

I don't think one should go looking for trouble where none exists.

Just because the husband said that the woman was attractive, does not mean that he is attracted to her.

Two different things.

The Sky looks different when you have someone you love up there.

Puppy Lips · ‎05-09-2010

@KingstonsMom wrote:
@Etoile308 wrote:
If you care about someone then you don't put yourself in a position to be tempted.

@Etoile308

IMO, if you love someone, you wouldn't BE 'tempted'.

Nope, don't agree with that at all. I think you can absolutely love someone and be tempted by someone else. It is human nature.

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else. Margaret Mead

Lipstickdiva · ‎03-10-2010

If the husband is attracted to another woman, I'm assuming he told your friend that and she repeated it to you.

If your friend told her husband that this bothers her and she doesn't like the fact that he plays this senior game, out of respect for his wife, the man should stop going. If he doesn't that says a lot, none of which is good.

To me, there is a difference between him thinking someone is pretty or actually saying he's attracted to her. If he just said he thinks she's pretty, that isn't a big deal to me but I'm not sure why he'd tell his wife that. It's rude.