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Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,020
Registered: ‎03-16-2010

Re: gift-giving to grandchildren

Very tricky, if one set of grands gift more gifts or more expensive gifts than the other. 

 

I have two grand girls and each had one American Girl doll. The younger girl told me she wanted another doll so that is what I gave her. She was over the moon on Christmas Day. But the excitement was short lived.

 

The older grand girl was so upset. Apparently mother had said no to another doll. I did not know this. The older child was sobbing and upset. I will never forget the saddness. I asked the parents if I could get her a second doll to fix it. 

 

Some may say it was rather bratty of the girls to want two dolls but that is not the issue.

 

I always try to discuss the major gifts.

 

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,946
Registered: ‎03-08-2018

Re: gift-giving to grandchildren

My MIL asks me and the kids every year what she should buy for christmas.  There are 11 grandchildren total ranging in age from 10-21.  She would stress herself out over what to buy everyone.  Then I would start buying specifically for my kids (that also caused confusion for her as well because she would forget what was purchased for whom.)

 

Last year to make it easier on her we suggested she just give them money especially since most are Teens and in College and they could all really use the spending cash.  She agreed last year after Christmas that the money made it easier on her.  This month she started asking my kids again what they wanted, my husband was there and told her money.  My kids are polite enough not to mention anything specific to her.

 

Depending on the age of the kids and the number of grandparents and other family members involved, at times its easier to ask the parents for ideas.  The parents know what the kids would like and can make sure multiples are not received.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,051
Registered: ‎03-14-2010

Re: gift-giving to grandchildren

Well, I have a story.

 

We used to exchange gifts with all the nieces and nephews (12). We always asked the parents to steer us toward what the kids would like.

 

My husband's brother stated that his son liked Transformer toys. He even stated what characters that his son didn't have and what characters he wanted. So we went out and bought Transformer characters that he wanted. 

 

Christmas day the nephew opened the gifts we bought for him. He unwrapped the gift, took a look at the package and promply threw the package over his shoulder and reached for another gift.

 

We learned. Just because a kid wants a certain gift in November doesn't mean that he will still want that gift in December. Good Luck

Honored Contributor
Posts: 43,455
Registered: ‎01-08-2011

Re: gift-giving to grandchildren

I do ask my Daughter in Love what she would like for the grandsons.  I useually give clothes and a goodie, DH does a bigger goodie from us.  They prefer the clothes I buy than what their mother buys.

 

I'm going to start taking our 14 1/2 shopping for his clothes.  I did that last year and it was wonderful!Smiley Happy

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,686
Registered: ‎03-19-2016

Re: gift-giving to grandchildren

 Grown grandkids are in other states. The great grandkids are also. I'm giving checks for the parents and deposits to savings accounts for the kids. 
  I have one granddaughter nearby and I'll give her several gifts since I don't have to mail them and a savings account  deposit. 
   I won't be seeing any of them this year. 
  

Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,399
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: gift-giving to grandchildren

[ Edited ]

We have one young granddaughter....about 10 years old.  We quit giving gifts a few years ago....her parents over indulge her and she has EVERYTHING a kid would ever need...currently she has a fairly current I Phone and she got a Macbook Pro when home schooling started.

 

It's not a lot of fun but we just send money.  They live across the country from us and would not get to see her open her gifts.  I have made some very nice things over the early years, and never got much of a response from those gifts either.

 

We do have 2 small great grand kids and I am pretty selective what I buy them but do ask to make sure there are not duplicate gifts.  They all have way to many toys and not sure much gets played with.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 19,474
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: gift-giving to grandchildren

[ Edited ]

We have two granddaughters, 7 and 4 and also a grandson who is 13.....For my grandson of course he wants money and gift cards, easy enough!

 

For our granddaughters, I check with my daughter and son in law first, because when they are over my house everything that comes on television they want, so I check with the parents to find out what we should buy, so we are not duplicating what they are buying or even the other set of grandparents......It just makes life easier!

 

We always get them toys for Christmas and clothes for birthdays! 

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,400
Registered: ‎06-10-2015

Re: gift-giving to grandchildren

I change what I do depending on ages. When they were young DD and I collibrated. Then they were into robotics (which I love) so we planned together, If I saw something cool I would tell DD to be sure. Then we progressed to wish lists.  No clothes ever for Christmas, take them shopping for BDays and school clothes. American Girl dolls, lots of Lego over the years and video games.

 

Last Christmas was great for grand son. He was getting ready to drive and he and his Dad bought an old jeep to restore and work on together.  I got them token gifts but wrapped cash and gave it to the jeep! They were beyond happy and the jeep looks great. Granddaughter at the hair stage and thanks to Best Buy no interest is a wiz with her Dyson. I aim to get something special 

Valued Contributor
Posts: 655
Registered: ‎03-20-2010

Re: gift-giving to grandchildren

@GoneButNotForgotten, I check with my daughter to be sure she isn't planning to buy the same things as me.  I can't think of anything I've ever bought that might be something the parents would disapprove of. Mainly I just want to make sure I'm not taking any gift ideas they'd already thought of. There are other grandparents and I can't do much about duplicates there but I try my best not to take what might be planned as a Santa gift away. It just seems like common courtesy to me.

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,042
Registered: ‎06-03-2018

Re: gift-giving to grandchildren

Anything large (size wise) I always ask my daughter before buying since I know space is limited in their house and anything expensive, I always ask first too, since I don't want to make a mistake. But most other little things, that I see and know the kids would like I just go ahead and get it. It's part of the fun of being Grandma!!