Among Friends

[jaxs mom]

I don't really need cards. There are lots of other ways to be romantic or show you care. 

Sure I get cards now, but I don't remember getting any while we were dating. 

[joannecha]

Well, I had an ex who sent me flowers almost every week & after a few years of that, I found out why. He also bought me all kinds of expensive jewelry. Now that I'm remarried, expensive jewelry mean absolutely nothing to me. I would rather have a loving & faithful spouse which is what I have now (he shows me his love with his actions, not with things).

[reiki604]

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@pggoody wrote:

Thanks  for all the posts. Read through all of them .  Made for some interesting reading.  Relationships work because both individuals make an effort to make " things" work.  Each must stay unique and be their own person. But I do feel  we can all use a " tweak" here and there...... Especially if we know it makes our partner happy.  ( ie.... I dnot eat meat but cook it for my SO because it's his favorite, often go watch war /action dramas rather than my preferred  "chick flick" , sit through hours of sporting events even though I might not really care to....and I don't complain.... Having a willingness to try new things because it makes our partners happy......   .. Etc...

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@pggoody..........You speak about what you do for him. What does he do for you? Does he make you a vegetarian meal, or does he sometimes see a 'chick flick' with you? Are you the only one doing the compromising? If so, it might be time to have a serious discussion about what you want and the status of your relationship or just cut bait and leave.

[Puzzle Piece]

@pggoody Geez, many guys are the way you describe. 

My husband isn't a romantic but he remembers me with the cards, flowers, dinners, etc. 

Afterall, he's an American Vet - Vietnam, hard worker, husband, helper, problem solver, fixer of things around the house, and like to work on the cars.  I leave well enough alone.  I married him to go through this journey called life and we have almost 35 years together.  I know he loves me and I am content with that and with him. 

[Tinkrbl44]

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@reiki604 wrote:

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@pggoody wrote:

Thanks  for all the posts. Read through all of them .  Made for some interesting reading.  Relationships work because both individuals make an effort to make " things" work.  Each must stay unique and be their own person. But I do feel  we can all use a " tweak" here and there...... Especially if we know it makes our partner happy.  ( ie.... I dnot eat meat but cook it for my SO because it's his favorite, often go watch war /action dramas rather than my preferred  "chick flick" , sit through hours of sporting events even though I might not really care to....and I don't complain.... Having a willingness to try new things because it makes our partners happy......   .. Etc...

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@pggoody..........You speak about what you do for him. What does he do for you? Does he make you a vegetarian meal, or does he sometimes see a 'chick flick' with you? Are you the only one doing the compromising? If so, it might be time to have a serious discussion about what you want and the status of your relationship or just cut bait and leave.

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@reiki604    @pggoody

Well said, @reiki604

From what Goody has described, this really isn't a serious relationship for this guy, and she is trying to make it what it isn't.  

I just hope she doesn't have children with this guy.    He's not invested in this relationship ... just letting her do all the work.   Been there, done that, unfortunately, so it's easy to spot in others.