Your opinion on men that lack in the romance depar... - Page 6

hckynut · ‎03-10-2010

@DiAnne wrote:
There is nothing easier than buying a card or ordering flowers to be delivered. He is just lazy and does not think you are worth it.

@DiAnne

I don't and have never bought cards for my wife. I have a few times bought flowers and delivered them myself to her at work. So, in your opinion, I am lazy and my wife is not worth it to me?

I guess your definition and meaning of romance might be in a different universe than that of my wife and myself. Everyone has one, and they also have opinions.

hckynut(john)

lOVETOSHOP · ‎10-26-2010

I agree with what some of the previous posters have said...does he have other attributes besides being a card and flower giver? Does he seem tuned into your feelings? Is he someone you can lean on when you need to? Does he listen when you talk to him?

There are so many things other than giving cards and flowers that are important to me.

My husband and I have been married 30 years, and he does still give me cards for various occasions...flowers not so much, except on our anniversary. But I would rather have other things, like a helping hand with household things, going on nice vacations together, having him to lean on when I need him in troubled times, him telling me he appreciates me, things like that. Material things were more important to me when we were a lot younger. Now the other things are much more important to me.

If you see other attributes in him that you feel are important to a happy relationship, that would be enough for me!

Lindsays Grandma · ‎03-10-2010

circles...I have been there too. Isn't it wonderful to have known a man or men who are so wonderfully romantic? To the poster wanting to know if he will change, I doubt it, if it isn't there now I don't see it happening.

The moving finger writes; And having writ, Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line Nor all your Tears Wash out a Word of it. Omar Khayam

Sooner · ‎03-10-2010

@hckynut wrote:

As a male speaking only for myself. Romance can be defined/shown and demonstrated in many different ways. I am the same as I have always been during my 45+ year relationship with my wife. Were I to change? I think that might make her wonder, "hey, what's up with that"?

hckynut(john)

Well I can tell you right now that if you changed here WE would all wonder "What's up with hckynut(john)!!!!

Stormygirl · ‎08-01-2015

I do not do cards, never have. Noone will ever make me change and I do not expect a man to change for me either. DH has never been the gushy type and I guess we define romance in other ways. I do not need "things" to validate his feelings for me but rather more important qualities such as him being loyal, concerned and there for me. I am who I am and he is who he is and I would never attempt to change anything. I think same could go for any man asking for a female to change into his own definition or expectation of romance.....wouldnt be fair . I guess people define romance differently. I would have to respect his honesty though

Pook · ‎03-20-2010

I don't buy the lazy thing at all!! He could buy cards just to humor you but how meaningful would that be? It would be a fake sentiment!! I have many male friends and over the years I have heard them laughing and saying they do these things just to get the wife off their backs and then they are free to do what they wished and to some that meant affairs!! Most have lost respect for their wives due their constant nagging and trying to change who they are. When you try to change one thing odds are you will keep trying to change everything to suit you making him unhappy and more likely to stray or leave. The sad thing is many are oblivious to it all and think all is so great with their relationships because they get cards and gifts! I don't want a man who feels he has to humor me just to tolerate me most of the time. My advice to OP is to judge him on how he treats you and not how other women's men treat them because you are only seeing the outward relationship - and probably not the real one!

Sunshine Kate · ‎03-10-2010

@pggoody wrote:
When you were dating your significant other , did he give you cards on special occasions? Or if not, did he ever do cute romantic gestures.? ? I know some men are more romantic than others......but how do you view a man (30) that says he " just doesn't do cards.....sees no need . He definitely lacks in the romance department. I would think a card would be an easy way to express himself. Seeing friends getting these kind of things does not help. it does not have to be over the top,kind of stuff but what do you think....... Can a guy change?

I know men and women who think giving someone a greeting card for any occasion is dumb.

I really don't understand this as I love to give and receive cards.

To each his/her own.

sidsmom · ‎11-25-2011

I'm not a card/flowers type of gal.

And my SO isn't a card/flowers type of guy.

Over the years, I've seen him adopt some of my mannerisms.

I've even overheard him re-tell one of my stories, verbatim, to his friends.

To me...that is the sincerest form of love.

Mimicking my actions.

A card or some flowers can't compare.

Sooner · ‎03-10-2010

I cherish the fact that we want to do things that make the other of us happy. If something pleases my husband, it makes me happy and vice versa. We have been married a long time, and we both have changed some things along the way. But to me, that is the blessing of being a couple and being in love.

Doing something to make someone I love happy is a privilege to me.

If a guy brags about giving his wife something like a card or flowers to "get her off his back" is says FAR more about him than her. How sad. If he sees something as small as getting a card as a burden, I don't even know what to say about that. . .