Your opinion on men that lack in the romance depar... - Page 5

Nancy Drew · ‎03-11-2010

Define romance. My husband takes good care of my car so I am safe on the road, he works hard so we are comfortabe in life, he takes the dogs out in the rain so I don't get my hair wet, he cleans the cat box if my sister calls and needs me to listen. It is the little stuff in life. Yes he gets cards and flowers every now and then but how he treats me on the average Monday in January is the true romance in our marriage.

Wrong is still wrong just because you benefited from it.

Hoovermom · ‎03-19-2010

I think we all reap what kind of familly we come from. My family was always openly affectionate, holidays important (cards, cakes, flowers) and always had open communication. DH's family was a wonderful family but not the same as mine. I told him what made me happy and he got the idea. We celebrated 41 years of marriage this past Christmas. I tell everyone that I know that he is the kindest and most loving man that I know. Communication of what your needs and wants are in a relationship are so vital to keeping that "romance" in your marriage.

VanSleepy · ‎10-05-2010

I don't think buying a greeting card is very romantic, but if he's dismissing your feelings because he "doesn't do cards", that's another story.

dulwich · ‎01-18-2012

I think I am lucky DH after 55 years of marriage still will bring home flowers or like yesterday brought home a chocolate heart he saw in Safeways and put it by my dinner plate - I did not eat it he did! but he is caring. This is not a regular thing but maybe once a month or so he will present me with a little gift.

His Dad was just the same so maybe that is what he saw his Dad do.

If men are not romantic I do not believe it means they are uncaring - how they act 24/7 is to me what is important.

poppinfresh · ‎03-10-2010

My story starts with the most romantic man I had ever met. Flowers, jewelry, clothing, perfume, expensive presents, always treated me in public with the utmost adoration, every one knew we were so in love and that he just adored me, and I him. 18 years together...and he was cheating on me the entire time. I had no idea, but left him. Going ahead a couple of years after finding myself and loving myself, I met a man who was the least romantic man I had ever met..quite the change. I married this man, and now 15 years later I couldn't be happier, even though he still isn't a romantic in any shape or form. It's the little things...I can look like something the dog drug in and he still thinks I am beautiful, he makes my coffee every single morning, opens doors for me always and helps me on with my coat, holds my hand when we are walking, and makes me laugh like crazy. He is my rock. All the romance in the world, all the expensive presents mean nothing. It is the little every day things that usually go unoticed, that become ordinary, that mean more than anything to me.

Moonchilde · ‎05-23-2010

No, he's not going to change; he's indicated that to this point, he isn't planning to change *for you*, at least - which is not to say he wouldn't do whatever the person he falls head over heels with one day likes - who knows.

It's sounds possible that his future excuses for a variety of things could be that he "doesn't do" whatever it is - it's pretty plain take me or leave me, honey.

If he makes you happy and shows that he loves and values you in other ways, that's what truly counts, AFAIC. But if you really need and want the typical romantic gestures and he's not ever going to be forthcoming, neither of you would be happy.

Life without Mexican food is no life at all

VaBelle35 · ‎03-10-2010

Generally, people do not change. If you force him to do things that are not his natural inclination to do, you will either have to keep "reminding" him or you will become resentful (or he will).

Generally, people show you who they are very early on. Things don't get better later, or with marriage. People put their best foot forward in the beginning and then people "settle in."

You have to decide what is important to you at this time in your life and in your relationships. If it's important to you that you have romance and cards and thoughtful gifts for every occasion and just because, then you need to continue your search.

===================================
QVC Shopper - 1993

# IAMTEAMWEN

blackhole99 · ‎08-22-2013

@pggoody wrote:
When you were dating your significant other , did he give you cards on special occasions? Or if not, did he ever do cute romantic gestures.? ? I know some men are more romantic than others......but how do you view a man (30) that says he " just doesn't do cards.....sees no need . He definitely lacks in the romance department. I would think a card would be an easy way to express himself. Seeing friends getting these kind of things does not help. it does not have to be over the top,kind of stuff but what do you think....... Can a guy change?

My husband has always been very thoughtful and romantic. Flowers for Easter, Valentines, Mothers Day, et.and of course the mushy card to go with it. He's a hand holder and doesn't need a reson to give a kiss. Our son who is 30 something is nothing like his Father, much to his SO's dismay. I tell him he doesn't deserve such a beautiful accomplished woman and he better step up his game or she's going to move on. My son can be very loving and attentive when he wants to, but he's not consistent. I think he may be like this because he is not interested in being married.

libbyannE · ‎10-27-2010

Never expect or hope that someone will change. Love him as he is--or let him go. I am not defending or dissing him. I am simply saying that he is what he is. If he's not right for you--if you are already uncomfortable or angry or hurt--I see trouble ahead if you try to change him.

Hayfield · ‎03-10-2010

@Jackaranda wrote:
Define romance. My husband takes good care of my car so I am safe on the road, he works hard so we are comfortabe in life, he takes the dogs out in the rain so I don't get my hair wet, he cleans the cat box if my sister calls and needs me to listen. It is the little stuff in life. Yes he gets cards and flowers every now and then but how he treats me on the average Monday in January is the true romance in our marriage.

I agree with you 100%. Yes, my DH of almost 39 years has given me a card or two over the years and once in a while flowers but since the day I married him he has gotten up every day to go to work, wiithout complaint, helped raise our two children, been there for me when my parents were sick and gave me all the support I needed when they passed away. I could set my watch by him, knowing when he'd walk through the door. No matter what I made for dinner, it was wonderful, according to him. Yes, being there for the fun, easy stuff is well, full and easy, it's getting through the hard times that counts and what I've found to be very romantic indeed!