Your opinion on men that lack in the romance depar... - Page 2

janeec · ‎02-17-2013

My husband is not overly romantic. He does cards once in a while, he says flowers are a waste. Do I wish I had these things? Yes. But the most important thing is he is faithful, hardworking, and will go out of his way to take care of me. What is more important? He was like that when we were dating, and it's 36 years of marraige so far.

circles · ‎03-10-2010

I was fortunate to have had an ex husband that was very romantic...he always did special cards...flowers...held car and doors...held my hand while we were out and about...etc etc..

Then the man i dated after him...was exactly the same..very attentive to me ..with special gifts flower on my pillow..cards...etc

I am sorry for those that have never experienced a loving partner..

Trinity11 · ‎11-16-2014

@pggoody wrote:
When you were dating your significant other , did he give you cards on special occasions? Or if not, did he ever do cute romantic gestures.? ? I know some men are more romantic than others......but how do you view a man (30) that says he " just doesn't do cards.....sees no need . He definitely lacks in the romance department. I would think a card would be an easy way to express himself. Seeing friends getting these kind of things does not help. it does not have to be over the top,kind of stuff but what do you think....... Can a guy change?

After more than 40 years of marriage my husband continues to give me cards for special occasions. He's always been thoughtful. If cards are important to you than he may not be the man for you. Never settle, there may be a guy out there who better suits your needs.

Carmie · ‎10-25-2010

I have been married for almost .44 years and dated my DH 4 years before we we married. He used to be good about getting me a card and something for every occasion that came down the road until I asked him to stop.

I don't need or want a card or gift. My feelings are that when you get something on a day that the calendar says you should, it's no big deal.

What matters to me is how he treats me 24/7 365. Everyday things matter more to me. I prefer that he helps me carry a heavy laundry basket up and down the stairs or help do the dishes or offer to walk the dogs when I am busy.

If we go shopping and I see something I am interested in, he'll buy it for me, He washes my car and fills it with gas when he notices, the tank is low.

He always gives me a kiss when he leaves the house and when he returns. He is sweet to the kids and the doggies. He is a wonderful man.

These are the things that matter to me. A paper card with someone else's sentiment doesn't equal romance to me. It's much easier buy a card or gift than it is to show your love every day.

Stop looking around at friends and their cards and gifts and starting really looking at your relationship. How does this man treat you 24/7 365 days a year?

reiki604 · ‎03-09-2010

If someone does not give you what you require then that person is not the one for you. No harm no foul. You are who you are, he is who he is. We should not look to others to fulfill our needs and wants. They will always come up short. Please take all of these romanticized stories with a grain of salt. No one is perfect.

'I refuse to engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed man'.......Unknown

makena · ‎10-29-2016

Won't change.

sweetee2 · ‎06-21-2015

My hubby did none of those things when we were first married. But over the years he has learned to be wonderful in all those ways. He was raised in a alcoholic home and never saw this being done. Now both he and my boys see how much happiness it brings us and now they all do it with Thier wives. It's never to late to learn if you want to.

on the bay · ‎03-09-2010

Well cards are important to me and most everyone in my family so I guess we are lucky.

But even though my husband always gave me cards, presents, flowers. I will never forget the time he helped me rake the leaves! To me that was love!

And a funny and cute story~

My father told me, he and my step mother decided to go into the card store, pick out a card for each other, read it to each other and put it back!

They thought that was the greatest solution.

And even though they both had enough money to buy the card, they were both of course from the depression era, so I know you all know how that can effect that generation for their entire lives.

How about a closet of 50 lightbulbs for example~

Ok a little off topic but I mainly wanted to share the card/no card story.

"If you walk the footsteps of a stranger, you'll learn things you never knew. Can you sing with all the voices of the mountains? can you paint with all the colors of the wind?"

ChynnaBlue · ‎05-22-2012

@pggoody wrote:
When you were dating your significant other , did he give you cards on special occasions? Or if not, did he ever do cute romantic gestures.? ? I know some men are more romantic than others......but how do you view a man (30) that says he " just doesn't do cards.....sees no need . He definitely lacks in the romance department. I would think a card would be an easy way to express himself. Seeing friends getting these kind of things does not help. it does not have to be over the top,kind of stuff but what do you think....... Can a guy change?

I don't have a problem with men who don't do cards. I don't do cards, either. Cards do not equal romance for me.

Romance is defined differently by different people. If your definition and his don't match, then you should discuss that and talk about how each of you define romance and how much value you place on your definitions.

Once you've each defined what you view as romance, then you should talk about whether or not each of you can sometimes compromise to ensure that both definitions are being met.

If no compromise is to be had, you'll have to make some other decisions.

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alicedee · ‎07-25-2010

If it's important to you, and he is a good guy in other ways....why not have a kind talk and tell him you are a person who would really love getting occasional cards and little notes. When dating, most people look for ways to please the other. If you tell him this would mean a lot to you...and he ignores it...I would be hesitant to get too deeply involved. Not because the cards are a big deal...but when he has been told that some small thing like that means a lot to you, and he chooses not to do it...that could be a big deal for you.

Just because someone's not inclined to do romantic things doesn't mean they can't choose to do them sometimes to please their partner, especially when they have been specifically told.