Among Friends

[Sunnyfield]

I will try to make this short...it's a bit convoluted....

I have two stepsons who live together (along with their mom and the wife of the oldest stepson) - the youngest stepson (Jay) has had addiction problems for several years, has no job,  along with being involved with a woman who also is an addict.  The woman also has three children that she does not take care of, and has been in jail/prison.

Anyway, this woman  is now on probation and living in a sober living facility.  I found out that she got kicked out of the facility due to violating her "agenda" (she has passednumerous drug tests) and is now in a different facility and has to go back to court.

The oldest stepson (who owns the house they are all living in) does not know about this...in fact he was told various lies about why Chris "got a day pass"  and then moved to another facility... he knows nothing about the violation of probation and new court date...

I should also say that this pattern of lying has been going on for years....

My oldest stepson is a good man, but he does not like confronation or conflict.  He, in my opinon, enables his youngest brother because he does not want to upset their mom.

I am trying to decide if I should tell my oldest stepson what I found out, just so he will know that he is being lied to...or keep out of it...fortunately I live across the country. I know that he probably won't confront the liars or do anything, but I hate that he is being "played".

What would you do?  Tell him or keep your mouth shut.  My friends have differing opinions....

[GCR18]

I'd stay out of it.  I would think things will come out in the open on their own.

[KarenQVC]

Is the boys' father alive?  I would tell him.

[cherry]

I keep out of it. He must know how they are by now

[Sooner]

MYOB.  You can't change a thing.  They all know how things work there.  I am sorry that you have to worry about this. . . 

[Sassy7356]

I would stay out of it and let it come out on its own.

[QVCkitty1]

If he won't act on the information, what is the upside to you telling him ??

[scatcat]

I bet your oldest stepson isn't as clueless as you think. He's living the situation and I'm sure not blind to it. He may just choose to look the other way. The world is full of enablers 

[KYToby]

If you want to risk having your husband, both stepsons, and their families turn against you and treat you as "the enemy" and ultimately blame you for any and all future family discord, then speak up.  If not, If not, treat the subject for what it is -- none of your business.

[sidsmom]

Boy, that sounds like a House of Hot Mess.

SO many red flags...sounds like everyone is an enabler.

I would stay far away.