Reply
Frequent Contributor
Posts: 111
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Would you get this neighbor kid a bday gift?

I just want to say that you have a kind heart and I wish you were my neighbor.

 

I have no advice because I don't want to be wrong and steer you wrong. There are already great replies from everyone with advice here.

 

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,187
Registered: ‎03-13-2010

Re: Would you get this neighbor kid a bday gift?

I have NEVER given a neighbor kid a card and money just bc he was a neighbor kid, period.  Maybe I can see giving the child a card/$ when the father cleared your driveway, bc it was a nice gesture if the father would not accept money to do so but the father just chose to stop clearing the driveway one day. You can do the same - just decide to stop sending a card and money. 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 32,483
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Would you get this neighbor kid a bday gift?


@spot555 wrote:

No way would I give any other gifts. Mind you, the child's parents should be teaching the child gratitude, & to always give thanks. 

 

You've certainly never had to give the child a gift- you did it out of the goodness of your heart. But I don't believe in rewarding bad behavior....EVER. That goes for both the parents and the child. 

 

Recently my teenage niece sent me a "thank you" text for a gift I sent her, & that ticked me off. That's like saying, I know I HAVE to thank you, but I don't want to call. In another year she'll turn 18, & that will be her last gift from me. 

 

Attitude of gratitude. Heart


@spot555  Gee it sounds like you don't care much for her anyway.  In today's young world, a text is the way they communicate.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 13,775
Registered: ‎07-09-2011

Re: Would you get this neighbor kid a bday gift?

Well, obviously this is just my way of thinking.

 

A gift of the heart is one you give without second guessing yourself, or asking others.

 

If you have questions, wonder what you should / shouldn't do, etc. then it is a kind gesture but not a gift from the heart.  

 

If I had questions about it I'd likely stop.

"Animals are not my whole world, but they have made my world whole" ~ Roger Caras
Honored Contributor
Posts: 17,517
Registered: ‎06-17-2015

Re: Would you get this neighbor kid a bday gift?

There was a thread about giving out gift cards at Christmas to neighborhood kids; the couple never received thank you cards, either.

 

Personally, I would never give a gift to a neighborhood kid unless he/she was a friend of my own child.

 

I also would not appreciate a person giving my son a gift if there was no contact between me and the neighbor.

 

My opinion is that this gift giving should stop just as it should have for the poster in the Christmas thread.

 

Donate to a children's shelter; they need it more.

"" Compassion is a verb."-Thich Nhat Hanh
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,601
Registered: ‎10-01-2010

Re: Would you get this neighbor kid a bday gift?

The parents should have the little boy write you a thank you note and bring it over to your house.  If I were you I would buy a gift bag and put some treats in it and be done. $30 is a lot for a casual acquaintance neighbor kid in my book.

When my kids were little a relative would write them each a check for $1.00!  They would laugh at that. I told them she didn't owe them even a dime..I had them write thank you notes. 

Trees are the lungs of the Earth
Honored Contributor
Posts: 10,168
Registered: ‎03-14-2010

Re: Would you get this neighbor kid a bday gift?

Sor the kid does not go to school ? Is he home schooled? You said he is home all the time and they have no friends. I would ask the boy what he is doing for his birthday. Give him a nice card and a $15 gift card to a fast food place. If it gives you pleasure to give him a gift, then do it as I am sure he likes getting it as well. Birthday cards with no money or gift card inside are usually just tossed aside without even looking at them.
Super Contributor
Posts: 319
Registered: ‎02-06-2017

Re: Would you get this neighbor kid a bday gift?

[ Edited ]

@Drythe wrote:

Well, obviously this is just my way of thinking.

 

A gift of the heart is one you give without second guessing yourself, or asking others.

 

If you have questions, wonder what you should / shouldn't do, etc. then it is a kind gesture but not a gift from the heart.  

 

If I had questions about it I'd likely stop.


 

 

This is so true. Great analogy! And it goes with one of my favorite sayings/thinkings of life.. "if you have any doubts, don't do it.." 

 

Someone asked if the kid goes to school, he does.. goes to school, comes home, that is it. Someone also said to ask the kid what he does for his birthday, and I did a couple years ago, I happened to see him outside a few days after his birthday.. I asked if he had a nice birthday, he said a very poilte and short 'Yeah...' then I asked him what he did for his birthday, and he did not answer, there was a weird awkward silence, like he was not sure what to say, so I just filled in with 'Did you have cake and ice cream..?' and again, just a very short  'yeahh...' I guess maybe some kids today just do not socialize very much, so it might be kind of hard for some of them to know how to 'talk' or act.. It is all about the ipads, iphones, etc... Anyway, I am beginning to see the point of 'it is awkward for the parents'.. more and more.. ugh. Talk about feeling like a ton of bricks falling on my head.. But at any rate, it is more and more obvious.. to stop. The kid is being raised with the parent's apparent backward thinking, so.. I guess to him, because the parents feel awkward, he probably feels awkward, as well... Oy. Okay, definitely need to stop, and again, I should have just listened to my old theory of "if you have any doubts, don't do it.." Thanks, everyone!! 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 32,483
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Would you get this neighbor kid a bday gift?

 

I think most people can tell when someone is giving you a gift because they want you to have it and are happy for you and when you are doing it grudgingly and don't want to or resent giving the gift.

 

There isn't much joy for the recipient in the latter.  I'd say the lesson learned is if you aren't giving with a sense of joy and happiness, just don't bother. It is the warmth with which a gift is given, not the gift itself. 

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,399
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Would you get this neighbor kid a bday gift?


@Sooner wrote:

@spot555  Gee it sounds like you don't care much for her anyway.  In today's young world, a text is the way they communicate.

 

 

How rude of you to say that, & so presumptuous. "Today's world" doesn't fly with me. Parents don't teach their kids proper manners, & a thank you text isn't proper for a gift. People just expect things, & are not grateful. And kids have their faces buried in their stupid electronics non-stop. They don't even live in the moment. 

 

A short phone call would have been proper, a text IS NOT proper for a gift.