Re: Would you get married again?

PuppyLoverBob666 · ‎12-17-2021

I'm 62 and finding love is harder for older people but I'm pretty sure I'd try.

That's an interesting outlook. I think it probably would be harder but I think as we get older, we have a more mature outlook on love and understand that it's a complex emotion and not all loves are alike.

wagirl · ‎03-09-2010

ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!!!!!

ScrapHappy · ‎03-28-2010

No, I would not remarry. Long before we married, we were best friends. He is the love of my life and I would not look any further.

magicmoodz · ‎03-16-2010

@gidgetgh wrote:
I don't mean this comment to be snarky at all. Not in the least.

But sometimes, I think it's easy to armchair quarterback when you're not in the football game.

My husband was 12 1/2 years older than me. And he had a major health issue. Odds were he was going to pass away before me. We both knew that. I thought no way would I want to marry again. Nope, I've got the best (and I sure did, I adored my husband and miss him terribly). And after he died I didn't think there was any remote possibility that I would want to be in another relationship. Couldn't even fathom it. No way.

Heck, I was a child when JFK was killed and I couldn't understand, even then, why Jackie remarried. But I get it now.

Until it happens to you, you just don't know.

I am 66. I do not have children. I have 2 stepsons in their 50's who really don't bother with me. My sister lives 45 minutes away and still works full time. I don't want her to feel like she needs to spend all her time with me on her weekends off. My best friends don't live local. One is 2 hours away and the other lives out west. I have a very small circle of friends here and they have their own lives. I am appreciative of the time we spend together, but it isn't much. My husband has one nephew left and he is ill and housebound so no interaction there though I do keep in touch with his wife.

I am hopeful that the plan is for me to live many more years. I really hope so. I am a good human being, a kind person. I don't show it here, but I am pretty witty and I love to be around people.

Again, I am only 66 years old. Just speaking for me personally, as much as I love my new house, I don't want to sit here alone in my recliner and finish out my life that way. I want to be with people and I feel I have a lot to offer to a relationship. I don't really even care about future marriage. I would be fine with a committed relationship.

So again, until you're faced with the situation, it's hard to say how you'd feel.

@gidgetgh

You were dealt the tragedy of losing your husband at a very early age. I remember your grief well. And yet in the midst of it, you found the strength to sell the home you shared and build (literally) a new home.

Now you are seemingly open to exploring the possibility of sharing life experiences with someone new--whatever that might look like.

I am happy for you.

Lucky Charm · ‎03-09-2010

@magicmoodz wrote:
@gidgetgh wrote:
I don't mean this comment to be snarky at all. Not in the least.

But sometimes, I think it's easy to armchair quarterback when you're not in the football game.

My husband was 12 1/2 years older than me. And he had a major health issue. Odds were he was going to pass away before me. We both knew that. I thought no way would I want to marry again. Nope, I've got the best (and I sure did, I adored my husband and miss him terribly). And after he died I didn't think there was any remote possibility that I would want to be in another relationship. Couldn't even fathom it. No way.

Heck, I was a child when JFK was killed and I couldn't understand, even then, why Jackie remarried. But I get it now.

Until it happens to you, you just don't know.

I am 66. I do not have children. I have 2 stepsons in their 50's who really don't bother with me. My sister lives 45 minutes away and still works full time. I don't want her to feel like she needs to spend all her time with me on her weekends off. My best friends don't live local. One is 2 hours away and the other lives out west. I have a very small circle of friends here and they have their own lives. I am appreciative of the time we spend together, but it isn't much. My husband has one nephew left and he is ill and housebound so no interaction there though I do keep in touch with his wife.

I am hopeful that the plan is for me to live many more years. I really hope so. I am a good human being, a kind person. I don't show it here, but I am pretty witty and I love to be around people.

Again, I am only 66 years old. Just speaking for me personally, as much as I love my new house, I don't want to sit here alone in my recliner and finish out my life that way. I want to be with people and I feel I have a lot to offer to a relationship. I don't really even care about future marriage. I would be fine with a committed relationship.

So again, until you're faced with the situation, it's hard to say how you'd feel.
@gidgetgh

You we're dealt the tragedy of losing your husband at a very early age. I remember your grief well. And yet in the midst of it, you found the strength to sell the home you shared and build (literally) a new home.

Now you are seemingly open to exploring the possibility of sharing life experiences with someone new--whatever that might look like.

I am happy for you.

The thing is, there are many widowed men and women who feel the same way. They don't want to spend the rest of their years alone in the recliner. They aren't looking for a nurse or a purse. Just someone to sit and eat dinner with, watch a tv show with, sip a glass of iced tea or wine with in the evening.

There has got to be groups willing to meet up, I've often wondered about 'Grief Share'. Those people (mostly) are grieving for love of their life that they lost. It seems that once they get through the first hurdles of grief, they can maybe open up to the possibility of future relationships.

Lucky Charm · ‎03-09-2010

It is different in many situations. My MIL became widowed at 60. She wasn't happily married to my FIL. Once he was buried she said her and another widow were going on a cruise and 'chase men from one end of the boat to the other'. Her words. I remember looking at my BIL and it looked like he was going to burst into tears.

But she had always talked that way and acted like men would be knocking the door down to get her. Didn't happen. She had a disasterous relationship for a few months. She chased after him, then ended up running from him.

I know my husband would be a good catch for some woman, for many women. He said years ago that he'd never re-marry. I took it as an insult...lol. As if he'd had enough with me. But now I totally get what he meant.

geezerette · ‎03-16-2010

My sister was widowed over 30 years ago when she was in her 50s. She was still working at the time, which she has since said probably saved her emotionally in a lot of ways.

Over the years after she retired, she had a few casual relationships with men and one serious one. Well, it turned out she was more serious about the relationship than he was when it came down to it, so she broke that off.

Now that she's in her 80s, she has found happiness with a man she met at her church a few years ago. It started as a friendship and progressed slowly into a deeper relationship. They aren't married and neither want to be. Nor are they living together, which neither want either. But my sister is a social person (which I am not) and she has someone to do things with. She did help to nurse him through a serious heart surgery, but only because his kids don't live close to him. They have a great relationship but also respect each other's lives outside that relationship. It works well for them.

1Kels · ‎05-14-2019

No. I've been married twice. Having our 41 anniversary this year. For me to marry again he'd have to be rich with one foot in the grave and the other on a banana peel and even than it would be a long shot to marry. Not because it's been an unhappy marriage...I just don't need a man in my life to be happy.

Pixie12 · ‎06-25-2020

I won the husband lottery 42 years ago so I will walk away a winner in the marriage department. The thought of a man criticizing my children, grandchildren, pets, or home I could not tolerate.