Would you believe him? - Page 6

hyacinth003 · ‎03-12-2010

@Sage04 wrote:
@AuntG it say the sis-in-law was the beneficiary.

Maybe brother really desn´t have a clue.

My brother has NO interest in any business stuff. When I told him that I was sole executor, he said "fine." He has gladly let his wife do all business and signs whatever she tells him to. Make of that what you wish!

However, I think he knows what she is. I now find his silence complicit. It has taken me a long time to decide on that. He didn't tell her to return the five figure check she wrote to pay off their sports car from my dad's funds. No way was my Dad competent to make that type of financial decision. I cried my heart out after finding that out. He repeatedly told me he didn't even know how much money he had or how he was paying for the assisted living. He also told me many times he thought the car was foolish. So sure, he would consent to pay it off.

My Dad was very generous. However, I would not have taken ANYTHING from him the last years of his life. It would have felt WRONG to me.

Hyacinth

Somertime · ‎09-18-2010

@hyacinth003 There is something fishy about this! To start with, why would any legitimate company address an envelope The Estate of Hyacinth's father??????? It should have been addressed The Estate of Your Father's Name. Is this under the Trust?

You are smart to deal directly with the insurance company and by supplying them with the documents that you are the Executor of the Estate, they are required to answer your questions. If this was payable to your father in monthly installments and taxes of 95.00 were withheld then the estate should have received a tax document showing income and the basis for the 95.00 withheld.

Have no further communication with your brother. Once you receive satisfactory answers from your insurance company, you can discuss your options with your attorney. You are within your rights as Executor to pursue the insurance company of what was involved with your father's account. Do not let them put you off.

Vent all you want, it's healthy for you. You are an intelligent woman and totally capable!

Lucky Charm · ‎03-09-2010

Well, the gravy train is over for them now. They have a set amount they will be given and then that's it. They are then on their own financially after they get their portion. Good luck to them.....

Sorry you have to deal with this. I wouldn't be surprised if almost half the people have to deal with something like this. I'm sure a lot of it goes unsaid, too!

I guess I would wonder why I would want to continue a relationship with a sibling who is giving me the cold shoulder.

I personally think that a spouse is actually the number one person in one's life---even to a blood relative.

I know they say that blood is thicker than water, but to me love is thicker than blood, if that means anything. (I love my family dearly, don't get me wrong!)

I'm sure it really bothers you to face the fact you may lose your relationship with your brother. But, sadly, if it doesn't bother him.....

Sage04 · ‎07-10-2011

@Lucky Charm, he´ll come around. He will need @hyacinth003 one day, and she will be there for him.

depglass · ‎03-10-2010

Get a lawyer already, you are in way too deep.

pigletsmom · ‎11-21-2011

@Sage04 wrote:
@pigletsmomin @hyacinth003 first post, she said it was in her dad´s name and SS# with her sis-in-law as beneficiary, Hope she finds out what went on and if any taxes are owed.

Maybe the Estate will have to pay the taxes otherwise she would not have received the mail.

@Sage04 This is what she posted later:

The real point is that I received a tax document with my brother's name and address on it.

At this point there seems to be confusion over talk of "documents" involved. Something from the insurance that list owners and beneficiary does't mean much in this. What does the 1099 say. 1099's don't talk owners and beneficiaries. They say who got the money and paid tax.

If the 1099 is in her brother's name and SS then he got the money all along. We have no idea what amount was in the annuity. He could have been withdrawaing for years. The payments in the last year could have only been worth 95 in taxes. Also it seems like what they actually have to pay would be based on how much this raises their income which wouldn't be much.

And if the insurance company person answered anything as specific as where the money was going without first confirming that the OP was in charge of the account that's pretty bad. I'm hoping there's some misunderstanding and the insurance person just said the money was being deposited monthly someplace without specifics.

My guess is the brother is upset that once again his sister is gearing up to accuse them of taking avantage of Dad before he died. I'm guessing he's tired of it just like she is. If he says yes they had an account for years and it's now been closed it's not going to end there.

mom2four0418 · ‎04-23-2010

Being an executor means taking the emotion out of the situation and settling the estate as quickly as possible. Asking strangers if they think your brother is telling the truth tells me that your lawyer needs to be involved. It is money well spent.

“The soul is healed by being with children.”
— Fyodor Dostoyevsky

CrazyDaisy · ‎03-20-2010

More family drama. Let your lawyer and accountant handle the matter. Stop looking for reasons to hate your sister in law.

Someday, when scientists discover the center of the Universe....some people will be disappointed it is not them.

hyacinth003 · ‎03-12-2010

@Somertime wrote:
@hyacinth003 There is something fishy about this! To start with, why would any legitimate company address an envelope The Estate of Hyacinth's father??????? It should have been addressed The Estate of Your Father's Name. Is this under the Trust?

You are smart to deal directly with the insurance company and by supplying them with the documents that you are the Executor of the Estate, they are required to answer your questions. If this was payable to your father in monthly installments and taxes of 95.00 were withheld then the estate should have received a tax document showing income and the basis for the 95.00 withheld.

Have no further communication with your brother. Once you receive satisfactory answers from your insurance company, you can discuss your options with your attorney. You are within your rights as Executor to pursue the insurance company of what was involved with your father's account. Do not let them put you off.

Vent all you want, it's healthy for you. You are an intelligent woman and totally capable!

@Somertime

Actually, I think the 1099 I received WAS the notification. I would never have even gotten it but for my Dad's name was in the address. It was addressed to my brother's address. After I felt jerked around with SIL opening my Dad's mail, I had all HIS mail forwarded to me. Should have done it from the beginning, but I thought they could be trusted to just forward it to me. It is a VERY legitimate insurance company. I have already sent the will to this company more than once in doing business - but companies now don't let one department "talk" to the other. I have already answered their request as to WHO is now responsible for things. But, this is another department! This is not part of the Trust. I have the funds from the Trust (I am sole Trustee) and I had 20% taxes taken. I will have to file a separate tax form for that and see if it was the correct amount.

I was not looking for trouble - I have enough work as it is. My grief over losing my Dad is getting worse, not better. This is the last thing I need. I am only looking into things as it relates to my Dad's taxes. I will have to pay them all. $95.00 is not enough tax on $10,000 to my knowledge.

I am not going to ask any more questions of my brother. He COULD probably answer this but is choosing not to as his wife's direction. So, I have to carry on with business.

Hyacinth

hyacinth003 · ‎03-12-2010

@mom2four0418 wrote:

Being an executor means taking the emotion out of the situation and settling the estate as quickly as possible. Asking strangers if they think your brother is telling the truth tells me that your lawyer needs to be involved. It is money well spent.

@mom2four0418

Actually, since I posted about the estate month's ago, I thought it would be nice if I posted an update.

It's not really a matter of relying on strangers to advise me. It's just "talking."

Hyacinth