Among Friends

[vsm]

@hyacinth003As others have noted, you've brought all this up before.  Not sure why you need strangers to tell you not to believe a brother whom only you know and, with good reason, haven't believed for a long time.

You've hired a lawyer and an accountant.  Make them earn their fees.  You can and should make sure they keep you informed of what they're doing, but you shouldn't be second- and third-guessing their professional advice unless they've given you reason to doubt their skills or honesty. 

I understand that grief and pain are unfortunately making your executorship more difficult than it would be otherwise.  But you have to try your best to remain at an emotional distance from your brother and SIL so that you can complete the task your father entrusted to you.  When your relatives realize that dealing with your experts may make it necessary to shell out for their own, they're likely to behave civilly again -- not for your sake, but for their own.

Please take a deep breath and be confident, as your father was, that you can do this.

[Sheila P-Burg]

@hyacinth003  ..... The majority of the post are recommending you talk to a lawyer, preferably an estate lawyer. Hopefully you take their advise

I do not take sides in any dispute until I know both sides and hopefully the full story. Your post makes it very plain their is tension between your brother and you and you and your sister-in-law. Avoiding contact with them might be the best solution.

You mentioned several times you being the "executor" and commented that your brother said you made it clear you were the executor. Therein may be the problem.

Before posting you should have "googled" for some infirmation. The "owner(s) are not the policy holder. You might just find out what your brother did was his right and basically none of your business.

Still, since you are aware of the situation for peace of my mind if I were you I would still talk to a qualified lawyer.

[Happiness Is Inside JOB]

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@itsmagic wrote:

If I were you I would first call the insurance company and see if they would explain it.  Then run it by the attorney. 

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I agree with Ms. @Its.

Until the insurance company tells you they paid the claim, the insurance was in default or what the status is.....then you can determine....if he got the money or if this is a issue to UpseT yourself about...

Family can be so difficult.

[Kachina624]

@hyacinth003    To answer your question; no, I would not trust your brother and yes, I'd investigate further.  As executor of the estate, I wonder if you could get any information from the IRS on the insurance policy?

[chiclets]

You are not responsible for the taxes paid on beneficiary money.

You can contact the IRS of your state and find out what taxes have been paid on/ under your father's social security number. The beneficiary paid the taxes but paid them via being beneficiary from your father.

So much went on that you were never aware of. Unfortunately some people take advantage of the elderly, even family members.

Good luck.

[pigletsmom]

Actually I'm not sure that this has anything to do with the estate.

You don't pay taxes on life insurance so the form saying taxes were taken out means this wasn't a life insurance policy and was possibly some sort of annuity.

Either way I'd say this isn't related to you at all and you should just send him back the info. It isn't part of the estate. It's either a life insurance policy joint owned by your father and brother with proceeds going to your SIL. Or it's some type of annuity joint owned with her as beneficiary and they cashed it out. Annuity seems more like it since it was taxed.

Either way the estate wouldn't pay taxes on it, she would. If your father had life insurance with just you as the beneficiary it would go straight to you untaxed. The entire point of a beneficiary is to keep it out of the estate.

[RedTop]

No, under these circumstances I would not trust my brother to answer me truthfully, and would look for the answers elsewhere.   

Also, I would focus solely on settling the estate without any contact whatsoever, with my brother.   My heart would be extremely heavy for my relationship with my only sibling to be in jeopardy, but would do what needs to be done now, and deal with the personal stuff later.

You absolutely need to take the allowable amount for your work in settling the estate.   That provision is allowable, and you have certainly earned it.   Also, the amount of money you take for the hours of work you have put into settling your fathers estate honestly and fairly, will still not equal the money your SIL swindled out of your dad by taking advantage of his declining mental status.   

What your SIL did is unforgivable in my book, whether it was one time or multiple times.   If my brother was aware of what his wife was doing to get my dads money, and yet he enjoyed the benefits of what that money paid for, I would feel he was just as greedy and guilty as his wife.   Without a doubt, that would severely impact my feelings towards my brother.   

@hyacinth003 , I sincerely wish you peace.

[Mom2Dogs]

@hyacinth003   I was wondering about you a few weeks ago, I see that you are still dealing with you dad's estate...and your brother...sorry to hear you are still having issues.  Stay strong.

[50Mickey]

Life insurance does not pass through the estate. If this was a policy owned by your father and brother and named your SIL as beneficiary the insurance company will most likely not discuss it with you. It is not part of the estate. If it was a life insurance policy most likely your SIL submitted a claim along with the death certificate and received the proceeds minus the $95 withheld for taxes. Either way the estate does not owe taxes.

By the way did the insurance company send an envelope addressed to "estate of Hyacinth's father" ?

[hyacinth003]

I called the insurance company today.  They told me my dad was getting deposits into his checking account monthly.  I have combed through the bank statements and I don't see it.  Not saying it isn't there, I am just not seeing it.  They would not tell me the amount until I prove I am executor.  This is how much FUN being executor is.  So my sister-in-law being angry my brother is not co-executor is a riot.  It is frustrating and a lot of work.

They also told me it would be taxable since taxes were not collected on it.  It would be taxable to the estate.  Remember they had access to my dad's checking account.  I need to write the insurance company with written proof of my being executor (done this before - send that portion of will) and they will probably tell me the amounts and answer other questions.

I will write the insurance company and try to get my questions answered.  Right now it looks like my dad's account got $10,000 that I cannot find.  And I will figure this out no matter what.

Hyacinth