Would you be upset if

Kelly88 · ‎03-22-2010

RedTop · ‎09-01-2010

Sounds like your friend is a bit insecure and you can't fix that. Stop sharing your purchases with her and let her go on thinking she is unique, which is what she wants.

Rose429 · ‎08-26-2012

@Kelly88 @Yes I would be upset. That is not the kind of friend I want or need. When I go out to lunch we all talk about what we r having before ordering. If I get a top or sweater that is the same or similar as my friend or if my friend gets something I already have, I take it as a compliment. I am sorry that this is happening after such a long friendship. If u tell her u r hurt and why, the ball is in her court. Good luck

pinkcrystal · ‎03-09-2010

I actually had this happen to me once. A girl I worked with and liked, got the exact same eyeglasses I had and the exact same hair cut and color! I wasn't mad at her really, but it made me feel really violated in some way. I don't know why but I didn't like how it felt. I know some people say it's a compliment but to me it was just bizarre. So I can see how your friend might feel like you are "copying" her style. I don't necessarily think you are, but I do know how your friend feels.

Kachina624 · ‎03-10-2010

@Kelly88. I can understand how your friend feel, especially if it has happened as many as 5 or 6 times before the most recent incident. She's telling you she feels like you're a copy-cat. What if you both showed up at a restaurant in thre same sweater? She undoubtedly doesn't want to be a twin.

You could try telling her "imitation is the most sincere form of flattery" but i doubt she'd buy it. If you want the friendship to continue, knock off the duplication of her wardrobe.

New Mexico☀️Land Of Enchantment

Desert Lily · ‎06-24-2011

I think there's a saying that goes, "Imitation is the highest form of flattery." Perhaps the friend should be flattered.

manny2 · ‎05-24-2010

Most of us like consistency. I know I do. So, when someone pulls a stunt like this it leaves us unsettled. This is her problem. Not your problem.

Katrinka23 · ‎03-11-2010

You remind me of a friend from high school many moons ago. If I came to school in something new she would ask where I bought it. The very next day she would come to school with the same item in a different color. It only took me a couple of times to realize what she was doing. Should I have been flattered that she liked my taste? Probably. But I started to tell her I didn't know here my mother bought it or it was a gift. But - that was high school, wasn't it?

Mindy D · ‎05-23-2010

@Kelly88 wrote:
My friend of 50 years and I have similar tastes in clothing. She likes to go to boutiques and has purchased some beautiful unique things. Over the years I have purchased about six of the same items because I admired them so much. Sometimes I find them on Poshmark or online. The other day I fell in love with a sweater she had so I bought one in my size. To my surprise, she got upset with me and told me that it bothers her and makes her feel like I'm taking away some of her individuality. I told her that that was certainly not my intent and if it bothered her I wouldn't do it again. Then she said it bothers her when we go out to eat and I ask her what she's having. Seriously? I'm just curious! I always order what I want, not necessarily what she's having. I was really shocked and felt very hurt. Where on earth is this coming from? I'm very much my own person and have my own sense of style. I always thought it was nice that we had similar fashion tastes. I don't think I can feel comfortable around her again. I would really like your thoughts on this.

@Kelly88 OK, so she confessed to you something that's been bothering her after all these years. You apologized and you're not bothered by this kind of thing. Just don't do it again. Most people are not bothered by either of these things, especially the second thing, but she is.

katie1859 · ‎06-25-2022

The best firm of a compliment is imitation.
I'm sorry you have this stride in friendship.
I didn't realize in friendship we didn't have freedom, but it seems you do.
People come and go in our lives and seasons come to let go.
I wouldn't be offended but if this was a constant line to cross with a friend I would question it. Jealousy and pride are not part of love, even in friendships.
You are the one who has to micromanage an insecure friendship. The question being is why and how long?