Re: Would this get under your skin

OnlyShopsOnline · ‎03-09-2010

What your mother is doing is emotionally abusive. It says nothing about you and everything about her. It took lots of therapy, and 47 years for me to put an end to that type of BS.

"I've been here since October 2006. Wow!"

CatsyCline · ‎07-24-2013

your mother sounds a lot like mine. It's hard to just let remarks roll off you when it's your mother. And she is the one person with whom you have had the longest relationship in your life. You don't have to put up with her behavior.

there's a book i would recommend,

Will I Ever Be Good Enough? by Karyl McBride Ph.D

google it online, there's a survey you can take, maybe some won't apply to your situation but it's worth a look.

violann · ‎03-10-2010

@mintedrose wrote:
My mom compares me to my 22 years old niece. Let me say She is doing very well and already on her way to med school. Im very proud of her. However, the other day my mom said something like this, "oh she doing so much better than you when you were her age, and she's gonna go so much higher in life than you ever did. Well, your situation was just different".

I dont know about you but that really struck a nerve in me. Why? because when i was growing up, i was not allowed to do ANYTHING. I had dreams too but i wasnt allowed to live my life. Lets just say I was not only invisible to them but also someone they really didnt care for. And of course with my niece they're very different.

I dont wanna be compared to her because shes like my child to me. I just cant seem to shrug it off and i cant say anything to my mom because then she'll say that IM the one being hurtful. I was having such a great time on my trip and now i just feel down, deflated and just like a big fat loser in life.

@mintedrose , I am firmly committed to the notion that it is never, NEVER too late to dream your dream, AND LIVE IT.

chiclets · ‎07-01-2012

Unfortunately you will not be able to change your mother's behavior or attitude towards you. It a constant factor in your life, and it does hurt and always will hurt you.

Even if you have a conversation with her it would not really matter, you see, you will be at fault anyway. Some relationships are like that.

Be yourself even if it means more criticism from her. You are not the person she wants you to be. If you have been trying to please her your entire life you have wasted so much energy. If you did so it was because you did not want to disappoint her. Guess what, you disappointed her anyway.

By being you, finally you, she will have to just be annoyed and disappointed and go on as she is, but you will not.

No relationship is perfect. And it does not mean there is no love.