Among Friends

[Still keeper of the koi]

A few months ago I posted about our secretary  who lost her husband quickly from cancer.Today she came to my home to drop off paperwork and was so thin and teary.We spoke for an hour,she stayed with us for 2 weeks  after  her husband passed.She said she can't get passed this.We talked ,prayed and yes cried.I told her I would find a online group for her to share,she said she  can't talk in person, too difficult.Do  any of you precious ladies  know off Web sites  or online she could visit? Please know I thank you from my  heart,this lovely person needs to talk to others in her grief.Ideas?  hugs ,Maryanne 

[hoosieroriginal]

It's a difficult thing - all of us go through it differently.  I was only 27 when I lost my husband - had two young children to raise.  I just found I had to be strong for them.  I did attend meetings, but do not know of anything online.  Hope she finds some peace and can move on with her life. 

[snappyfrappy]

Hi. We have a widow's thread here. Many have found help and undersanding there.

Your friend would be welcomed. We all know what it's like to lose your other half.

One of our dear members posts lots of pictures to make us smile or see beauty.

If your friend sees those, just have her click on reply and tell her story and women will start responding to her. I've prayed for her. You are a good friend. Listening is a gift.

snappy

[hoosieroriginal]

Glad you are there for her Maryanne - I'm sure she is glad you are too. 

The meetings I went to were more social - not sitting around and drowning in our sorrow - having people you could talk to one-on-one, not sitting around in a group and having to speak.  For me it was just getting out and being around people who had been through what I had and could understand where I was coming from.  We would have picnics with our children, dinners together - it really might be good for her.

[Still keeper of the koi]

I knew you ladies  have had your trials, It is one thing I could not  counsel her on.All I could do was offer hugs and compassion . It is part of life,,but we all grieve differently . I am glad she works for us,she is like family, we love her. Again thank you I am making a list from you all.I will tell her she is being prayed for from other kind friends....Hugs and love, Maryanne 

[butterfly123]

@Still keeper of the koi

I agree with @snappyfrappy about trying the thread she mentioned. 

If you would be willing to introduce her to the group. 

Another suggestion for you would be to start a separate thread and guide her through until she feels comfortable. 

There are many of us who would be happy to listen, uplift and share kindness and compassion. 

Just a thought. 

[software]

If he was on hospice, they can help with resources.

If not, the social worker connected to his health provider would love to help.

@Still keeper of the koi

[RedTop]

@Still keeper of the koi,

I watched a work friend cope with inconsolable grief after the loss of her adult child.   She reached a depth that was truly scary, and it took her entire circle of friends to push her into functioning again.  I will never forget threatening to physically lay hands on this friend in order to force her to get out of the bed, into the shower, in order to get out of the house for the first time in weeks.  At that point I seriously questioned whether she could overcome that despondent level of grief.  

Despite many close friends who never left her side and the pastor who visited every week trying to lift her up, what actually worked and brought her back to the living, was Grief Share.   My friend had sought private counseling sessions, but did not feel they were helping, and I couldn't see that she was making progress.   Another friend convinced her to go to the fall session for Grief Share, went with her, and it worked; she found others who were exactly where she was, and they climbed their way from rock bottom together.   

That group saved my friend, and continues to keep her bolstered and moving forward.   She's made new friends, continues to attend the sessions, and has a solid role helping others with their grief.   Please encourage your friend to find this group in your area, because they have the emotional support she truly needs right now.   

[drizzellla]

Our church has a support group that meets once a week. It is for widows. I am sure there are churchs in your area with similar support groups.

[BadWolf]

Tell her to try Widowed Village dot org.  Has great forums and tons of people.  It helped me a lot after the original forum I was on just disappeared one day.