Widows Thread

miaggi2 · ‎09-02-2013

It's been 3 years today and not a day goes by that I don't think about him.. still do not want to let go and it has become a very lonely life.

nana59 · ‎05-12-2012

I have a wonderful neighbor who lost her husband 4 years ago....and she and her 2 grown sons haven't been able to let go....I hate to see them so sad....I try to help......my thoughts are with you....

Apple Crisp · ‎04-08-2010

I don't think it is letting go. It is learning to live with the loss. It took me many years to stop my heavy grieving for my husband, I went to work and went on with my life because I had to. But deep down inside I grieved. My husband has been deceased 24 1/2 years and I have learned that some things that happen to us in life we never get over. We just learn to live with them. One thing that helped in my adjustment was going to a bereavement group. Mine was connected to my church. But there are many out there. Always remember hat God has a reason why we are still here.

snappyfrappy · ‎03-10-2010

miaggi2, please accept my sincere sympathy on the loss of your dear hubby.

In one way, 3 years isn't very long, and while grief has many things in common, it's also true that we grieve in our own way.

My hubby went to be with the Lord on October 17, 2010. Nearly seven years. He was 84, and had a heart condition, Parkinsons and metastatic tongue cancer which finally was the cause of death. We had him here on hospice the last 2 weeks or so. I saw him breathe out his last breath and then he was gone. I felt profound relief for him and frankly for us. It was so hard to see him suffer for years.

I am blessed to live with my DD to whom I sold our house about 3 years ago. We go on living here as we did when hubby and I were the owners. Without her, I'd probably have to be in a senior living facility, and I'm very grateful for her. My other kids and grands are all here in SoCal, as is my first great grand child. A baby girl who is one month old today.

She is beautiful. Part of hubby and that makes me happy. She carries his last name.

Be good to yourself and don't let the expectations of others bother you. Take things one day at a time. Drink enough water, eat well and sleep. If you want to cry, do it. It's healing. It's okay to be happy now and then and enjoy your own life and whatever family is close to you. Our hubbies would want us to go on with our lives, and it's okay.

Every day do something that makes you feel good. Take a walk, watch TV, read, workj a puzzle, email, go out to a public place where you can see life. It helps.

If you are a person of faith, pray and read the Bible. The Lord has helped me so much in so many ways and I thank Him. Memories never leave us, and if you have family, look at them and see your hubby.

There is a widow's thread here where you will find others who have experienced the same loss. Some many years ago, others more recently. One of the ladies posts lots of pictures for us to enjoy and they are beautiful and many are quite humorous.

We are there for you, if you want to stop by.

All the best to you,

snappy

nana59 · ‎05-12-2012

@Apple Crisp wrote:
I don't think it is letting go. It is learning to live with the loss. It took me many years to stop my heavy grieving for my husband, I went to work and went on with my life because I had to. But deep down inside I grieved. My husband has been deceased 24 1/2 years and I have learned that some things that happen to us in life we never get over. We just learn to live with them. One thing that helped in my adjustment was going to a bereavement group. Mine was connected to my church. But there are many out there. Always remember hat God has a reason why we are still here.

But does your God have a reason why some of us are not still here? I've lost 2 very dear friends this year.......at a young age.....with everything to live for....and families who miss them......I don't understand your God's plan.....if he does, in fact, have one.....

software · ‎06-08-2016

4-1/2 years for me.

Not interested in romance but I try to keep busy with things that interest me, crafts, gardening, pets. I never found anything like therapy or groups that helped me. I just take 1 day at a time. I have kids & grandkids and that helps. It seems everyone in the world is married, so I try to avoid that lifestyle, which can be lonely. I'm an only child, no siblings, parents deceased so I've learned to cope and accept that I will be alone. I have no qualms about going to the movies -- early Sunday morning, or going out to eat by myself. Sounds trite but life is what you make it.

@miaggi2 wrote:
It's been 3 years today and not a day goes by that I don't think about him.. still do not want to let go and it has become a very lonely life.

HiLo · ‎03-10-2010

@nana59 wrote:
@Apple Crisp wrote:
I don't think it is letting go. It is learning to live with the loss. It took me many years to stop my heavy grieving for my husband, I went to work and went on with my life because I had to. But deep down inside I grieved. My husband has been deceased 24 1/2 years and I have learned that some things that happen to us in life we never get over. We just learn to live with them. One thing that helped in my adjustment was going to a bereavement group. Mine was connected to my church. But there are many out there. Always remember hat God has a reason why we are still here.
But does your God have a reason why some of us are not still here? I've lost 2 very dear friends this year.......at a young age.....with everything to live for....and families who miss them......I don't understand your God's plan.....if he does, in fact, have one.....

I don't think we humans could possibility understand the reasoning of such a Being as the Almighty. But being someone of faith I went to the Bible for some possible answers. There I found over and over the fact that I needed to walk by faith and not by sight Believe me, it is only human to ponder such thoughts as above when death enters your life(, even Job asked that question) but,in my case it was a husband who left me with 3 dependent children.and also through the years many friends and relatives.left this earth. But rather than be bitter, the only way I found peace was to give in to the will of the One I believe has His own reasons.and Who has proved over and over again that He loves me. Beyond that, I have had so much to be thankful for compared to those who have lost all in the Middle East., Ladies, and even after 46 years I still think of my husband each and every day but with wonderful memories; am now 83 and ready to join him whenever He calls.

I'm sure this will be deleted but do hope some of the readers have indeed found this peace or eventually will. Only one who has gone through the experience of grief can possibly understand how it feels to walk through that dark valley but the "Widows Site" is a great place to share. your feelings and frustrations with those who will understand.

HiLo · ‎03-10-2010

@snappyfrappy wrote:
miaggi2, please accept my sincere sympathy on the loss of your dear hubby.
In one way, 3 years isn't very long, and while grief has many things in common, it's also true that we grieve in our own way.

My hubby went to be with the Lord on October 17, 2010. Nearly seven years. He was 84, and had a heart condition, Parkinsons and metastatic tongue cancer which finally was the cause of death. We had him here on hospice the last 2 weeks or so. I saw him breathe out his last breath and then he was gone. I felt profound relief for him and frankly for us. It was so hard to see him suffer for years.

I am blessed to live with my DD to whom I sold our house about 3 years ago. We go on living here as we did when hubby and I were the owners. Without her, I'd probably have to be in a senior living facility, and I'm very grateful for her. My other kids and grands are all here in SoCal, as is my first great grand child. A baby girl who is one month old today.
She is beautiful. Part of hubby and that makes me happy. She carries his last name.

Be good to yourself and don't let the expectations of others bother you. Take things one day at a time. Drink enough water, eat well and sleep. If you want to cry, do it. It's healing. It's okay to be happy now and then and enjoy your own life and whatever family is close to you. Our hubbies would want us to go on with our lives, and it's okay.

Every day do something that makes you feel good. Take a walk, watch TV, read, workj a puzzle, email, go out to a public place where you can see life. It helps.
If you are a person of faith, pray and read the Bible. The Lord has helped me so much in so many ways and I thank Him. Memories never leave us, and if you have family, look at them and see your hubby.

There is a widow's thread here where you will find others who have experienced the same loss. Some many years ago, others more recently. One of the ladies posts lots of pictures for us to enjoy and they are beautiful and many are quite humorous.
We are there for you, if you want to stop by.

All the best to you,
snappy

Such practical suggestions!!! Thank you so much dear Snappy!

Misun56 · ‎08-06-2017

Hello, I lost my husband just 1 year ago, I am grieving everyday I can not get him out of my mid. It was such a unexpected death, he had a massive heart attack we lost him in 10 min. I was Not prepared for it.

We were married 32 years, just have a daughter.

I am from Korea 32 years ago to marry him,he was a good husband, my protector and good friend.

There is not a day go by I don't think about him and I am glad I found this thread.

I have been reading many helpful post about how to deal with grief and I am trying but Some days I don't want continue live without him and just want to follow to be with him.

Elom · ‎06-15-2010

It has been 3 years for my loss and I thought I should be doing better than I am but as I am told often there is no time limit on grieving. My sweet caring husband is in my thoughts daily in the things I see and do. I tell him I miss him daily. We had 42 years together and I try to be happy everyday and not sad but sadness builds up.

i so appreciated reading your posts and that I am not alone even though I feel like it daily. Alone in a crowd with a smile on my face.

Thank you all.