Reply
Regular Contributor
Posts: 234
Registered: ‎05-02-2017

Re: Why would she do this ????

 

 

Perhaps in the most formal of weddings everybody should coordinate colors.

 

But, sometimes the MOG and MOB may struggle to find dresses they really like and that fit well.

 

When I married, my mother matched my wedding flower/bridesmaids' dresses' color with her dress, but my MIL chose a white dress (usually taboo).  I said not a word--nor would I have.The most important thing is that everybody is happy and comfortable with their outfits. We were all smiling in our photos and that 

makes for happy memories.

 

Future DIL should apologize and let future MIL wear green.  She can tell her own mother what to wear!

 

Besides, aren't all eyes supposed to be on the bride's dress?

Valued Contributor
Posts: 818
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Why would she do this ????


@stevieb wrote:

As far as I'm concerned, her big mistake was in telling them she'd bought her outfit... All this nonsense about 'the bride's colors' and 'what color I want you in' and so on is the ridiculous part... I agree with her, she wears what she wants to wear, but she should have simply pursued her choices and kept them to herself... Had she done so and once she heard more about the event, she might have opted to return her choices on her own... As for the bride getting 'frosty' and then running to the groom, she needs to get over herself... My guess is that sooner or later the woman will hear from them in some way... I can't see an only son excluding his mother from the supposed big event over what is essentially trivia... I'm sorry, but there is far, far too much hoopla made over weddings... It's cringe-worthy...


@stevieb 

 

I couldn't agree more with your statement that I underlined. It is ridiculous what weddings have become.

Super Contributor
Posts: 427
Registered: ‎01-05-2017

Re: Why would she do this ????


@Chrystaltree wrote:

@mom2four0418 wrote:

 

Who knows what was actually said between the parties. This is a third hand story. If the details were not yet known, it would have been a kind and loving thing for MOG to speak with bride and groom before purchasing an outfit.  

 

I didn't get the idea that she had any words with the bride, other than bride not liking that she bought a dress before she knew a single thing about the wedding.  I think it was whatever was said between the mother and her son that is the sticking point here.  So often people only tell half of a story.   

 

It sounds like the bride is trying to plan a wedding in a short amount of time. Maybe she is doing it by herself without a wedding planner or maybe she has had a problem with every step of the process and is really stressed out and not at her best. It is difficult to have an opinion when you have not been privy to each and every conversation on both sides and do not know the exact circumstances that everyone is dealing with. Planning a wedding is stressful under the best of circumstances and it is easy to offend a family member in the process without realizing you are doing it. I know that my feelings were hurt when I was not asked to be in my brothers wedding while the bride's sister was asked to be a bridesmaid. I was told that they didn't think I would want to be in the wedding, but, still, it would have been nice to be asked. I volunteered to take care of all the make-up for the wedding party instead and moved on.Smiley Happy

 

 


 


 

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,577
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Why would she do this ????

I asked my amazing DILs to select what I should wear to their weddings.

 

Made ZERO difference to me, they each chose something THEY loved, we all survived the event and they are now WONDERFUL MOMS to my precious amazing grandchildren.

 

This kind of gesture is like throwing a rock into an endlessly rippling pool.....the memories can last indefinitely, either way.

Highlighted
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,577
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Why would she do this ????


@mom2four0418 wrote:

@DottyPPPPP wrote:

The DIL to be sounds like a real sweet heart, and then the stupid son had to get involved.  Is he going to the cake tasting too?





Why would he not go to the cake testing?

Why is it now a legal and moral obligation to HAVE a “cake tasting”? Yet ANOTHER critical (?) aspect of marriage that becomes totally inconsequential when LIFE happens. Our “venue” provided a very nice cake, and those who wanted cake ate it, and those who didn’t, didn’t. All survived.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,173
Registered: ‎06-10-2015

Re: Why would she do this ????

She is willing to lose a son and DIL over a dress?  The lady is a nut job.

"If its broke, God can fix it".....Joyce Meyer
Honored Contributor
Posts: 11,657
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Why would she do this ????

@Chrystaltree @I would think that the mil would need a fair amount of time to find a dress.There aren’t many in the stores around here.If I needed to purchase a specific color that would be even more difficult.For me online ordering is not very successful either.Fit,fabric and construction are often a problem and also style.I find the older I get the harder it is to find a dress that works.I don’t understand why the mil has to match the bridal party in photos.Thankfully my son and his wife eloped a year ago.They haven’t regretted that decision and now I can understand why...too many differences of opinion on even the smallest of details.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,613
Registered: ‎03-23-2010

Re: Why would she do this ????

Seems the bride hasn't been updated on color theory as has been discussed here in the fashion forum.  If the mom looks good in green, let her wear it.  

 

If I were in that family, I'd be asking the son to consider whether he and bride-to-be are mature enough for marriage since they're acting like this.  Seriously, he's given Mom the frosty treatment over a dress?  He ought to be grateful to have his mom in his life.  Maybe there's something more to this feud than just a dress?

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,022
Registered: ‎03-15-2010

Re: Why would she do this ????

This reminds me of my own wedding, many years ago.  I asked my mother and future MIL to wear lavender, to match the bridal party.  My sweet mom bought a beautiful lavender  dress and looked wonderful. On the wedding day, my MIL showed up in an ugly beige dress, and of course she is the one false note in all the wedding pictures.  I was angry, but kept my mouth shut; in fact, whenever I look at the pictures years later, I am still irked!  I still don't know why she did this, but based on her subsequent behavior, I assume she was trying to stir up trouble, disassociate herself from the wedding party, make a silent protest because she never liked me, or she just bought the first dress that fit, because she really didn't care.  The bride should beware...

Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,093
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Why would she do this ????

I feel like chiming in again.

 

Obviously,  we don’t know all sides of the story here and how the relationships between, mother, son and now fiancé do on a daily basis and if this whole dress hysteria is a one off or part of a pattern, but.....

 

I just re-read the original post. The son and girlfriend have been together for 10 YEARS and she’s obsessing over dress colors????  Give me a break. Just go get married already. 

 

So much more in life to worry about. If this is that much of a biggie, good luck when the real life stuff happens.  


Why is it, when I have a 50/50 guess at something, I'm always 100% wrong?