Among Friends

[ccassaday]

This is why kids are turning into bullies. They are learning from their parents. As you guys know we are building our new house.  The exterior building materials list has to be approved by the people we bought the property from. He got the list yesterday. Today he called my sister up going off on how he isn't going to approve it. She works for the builder and did the blueprints. He didn't even have the nerve to call my dad because he knows he can't bully my dad. Funny thing is this guys parents have to sign it not him. His parents just sit back and let him bully them too. A couple of weeks ago one of the neighbors was planting a rose bush that she was given when her mother passed. He actually went up to her and told her you have to get approval for that. Which is not true. My dad had him take that out of the covenants when we bought this property. This guy thinks he can bully everyone. He is always spying when my dad is over there. As soon as our house and one of the other houses are built we can form a association and he has no say. This guy has two children. Children are learning from their parents. My dad says he is only giving him until noon Friday. If he doesn't sign it he is going to request a meeting with thi man and his parents. We are ready to start and he is being a jerk.

[hoosieroriginal]

It's because their parents never said "no" to them.  They are spoiled brats who think the world owes them a living.

[KingstonsMom]

That's exactly why I personally would never buy a home in a subdivision with restrictive covenants.

But I don't really understand how this thread relates to children bullying and why?

You said he bullies his parents too, so how did he learn the bullying behavior from them, if he obviously bullies them, instead of them bullying him?

I understand your frustration with the problems involved n your building process, but I don't think it has anything to do with bullying behavior nor what causes it.

[CareBears]

@ccassaday I myself was bullied as a child and as an adult, and I do not think we will ever know why some people feel the need to bully others?  Is it a sense of control over people, do they lack self esteem so they feel the need to pump up their ego's to make themselves feel better about themselves, we may never know?

And can we blame it on the parents, some of the kids that bullied me had  the most wonderful parents you would ever want to meet and when they found out what their child was doing they were shocked, do we blame society,  we can look every which way to find blame in almost every situation, but sometimes people just do things because they can, they have gotten away with it, or they lack empathy for other people.

I do know that when people see someone (child or adult) being bullied we need to stand up and tell them to knock it off, that this is not acceptable behaviour toward another human being, maybe if more bullies were held accountable for their actions they would stop, instead of looking around for praise!

[KingstonsMom]

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@hoosieroriginal wrote:

It's because their parents never said "no" to them.  They are spoiled brats who think the world owes them a living.

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@hoosieroriginal

That's a pretty broad statement to make and I may agree if you had said "SOME" young people, as I believe that's true in some cases.

But to label the entire younger generation that way is unfair to me.

I know many, many younger people who turned into caring, thoughtful and intelligent people who are assets to their family, community and society in general. 

Not bullies, nor "spoiled brats".

[chrystaltree]

I suppose "bully" is now the catch all word we use whenever someone does something mean.  That wasnt't bullying and it makes light of the real bullying that children and adults deal with.  That didn't come close to bullying, the guy is just your run of the mill jerk who goes out of his way to be mean. 

[KingstonsMom]

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@chrystaltree wrote:

I suppose "bully" is now the catch all word we use whenever someone does something mean.  That wasnt't bullying and it makes light of the real bullying that children and adults deal with.  That didn't come close to bullying, the guy is just your run of the mill jerk who goes out of his way to be mean. 

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@chrystaltree

I agree completely with your post.

[Carmie]

If I were your sister, I would have just hung up on him after telling him to meet with your father in person as he was the decision maker, not her.

Many, many people are brave on the phone, but not so much in person.   He took the cowards way to handle things.

Hopefully, your father will confront him and demand that he not call his daughter if there are problems or concerns.  That will probably put an end to these phone  confrontations.

[happycat]

I do not understand this. Perhaps it is because we do not live in an affluent area? But, when we were building our house, the only people we dealt with who had any authority on what we did, were the people at the bank. And they just had to approve the blueprints, do credit check/income/financial stuff.  Anyway that is my recollection. The insurance folks came out when we were ready to move in.

I sincerely hope that this man who you bought the property from isn't going to be a pain the whole time your family is building the house.

Why do they have to approve everything? Your parents paid for the property, they are paying for the house...I'm sorry, I am obviously missing something here.

He sounds like a control freak to me. It would get old real fast having to deal with him.

Our Covenant (thats what they call it here) did have to be followed. No single wide mobile homes, that was it. I know some neighborhoods in town have a 3000 sq ft minimum, and your garage has to match your house. Have heard of those things, but not nit picking like this guy sounds like. Griping over a rose bush?

[Peaches McPhee]

@ccassaday,I am curious as to why the exterior building materials has to be approved by the guy who you bought the property from.   What type of set up is that?