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Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,344
Registered: ‎03-14-2015

Re: Why are some women so vicious to other women at work?

There are women who love the power trip that they are on.

 

I highly doubt that they are "jealous", or "insecure".

 

 

I have a supervisor who just loves to micro-manage, and she loves the fact that she is a supervisor.

 

Management here just loves to coddle her, too. According to them, she can do no wrong.

 

And my supe is not jealous or insecure. In fact, she's just the opposite.

*Question Authority.
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*Pastor Neimoller
Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,983
Registered: ‎12-02-2013

Re: Why are some women so vicious to other women at work?

I once had a woman work for me who was very difficult to work with and just plain mean to me and others.        I had " inherited " her when I was transferred to the position.

 

One day I happened to see the inside of her arm near the elbow.  She wore long-sleeved clothing even in the height of the summer.  There were faint numbers in the skin...she was a Holocaust survivor.    Shortly thereafter, I found out that she had contacted HR and timed her disability retirement perfectly....she was about to be fired for performance.

 

Maybe her behavior was a form of self-protection to survive her perceived environment.  Hope she has found peace.

 

 

 

We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give.
Sir Winston Churchill
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,413
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Why are some women so vicious to other women at work?

I've encounter my fair share of vicious women in RL as well as in cyberland.  It's my belief that

 

1. Some people are simply born with a vicious/bully streak.

 

2.  Some people have suffered an unthinkable occurrence that has caused them to be vicious and bully other.

 

3.  Some people are just plain unhappy with their lives so take it out on others.

 

I do not believe women should be expected to supported other women just because they are the same sex.

 

I believe the internet allows people to be more vicious than they are in RL simply because they are anonymous.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,665
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Why are some women so vicious to other women at work?

I've always had male mentors, formal and informal.  We have many female VPs in my company and I would want to be like any of them and I sure as heck wouldn't want them to mentor me.

 

I don't need to be a VP that badly.

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Honored Contributor
Posts: 18,753
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Why are some women so vicious to other women at work?

[ Edited ]

I found in my career I worked with several nurse aides who really wanted to be nurses but did not make it for one reason or another. They would be just vicious in their attitude toward the RNs they worked with - until the usual happened and they were fired. It was all about jealousy. More times than I can count I've had aides tell me I was so lucky that I got to go to nursing school -- My answer was always the same - there was no luck involved . There were years of straight A and tons of hard work involved though. No one gives you a college degree or nursing degree - they are earned.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,252
Registered: ‎10-21-2010

Re: Why are some women so vicious to other women at work?


151949 wrote:

Plaid Pants2 wrote:

Sometimes it doesn't matter what you do, they will still find a way to get under your skin.

 

 

You try to be nice, and they see it as a weakness.

 

 

You try to stand up for yourself, and they see it as a challenge.

 

 

You try to ignore, and they up the harassment, until you do break, because everybody has a breaking point, before you snap, and then they gloat that they got you to react.

 

You can try to ignore to the best of your abilities, but that does NOT give them a free pass to continually harass someone, and they will continue to harass until the person breaks.

 

 


I disagree with this - when you stand up to a bully - they back off.


I would say in most instance you are correct. But in a work place it is much different. I always tried to defend myself or let people know it wasn't appreciated. Even when telling the supervisor. But then it was always turned on me that I did something wrong. It was so bad. I liked my job. All I wanted was to do my job well and maybe have some light hearted casual conversation. My retired friend and I agreed on politics. We only talked with each other. But when Obama ran for the first time you wouldn't believe how much we were bullied even though we never once talked to them about politics. We were called racists and everything else in the book. They would march through the department yelling stuff loud enough so to make sure that we got aggrevated.  It was so childish. Nothing ever was done about it.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,463
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Why are some women so vicious to other women at work?

In my experience with bully-types - if you stand up to them they accelerate because they don't like being bested.  It might not always be to your face, but it will definitely be behind your back.  They try to make it look like you are the bad guy.

 

I've dealt with people like this before.  I had one work situation and this person ended up being my sister-in-law for a while.  That was not good.  She was always jealous of others who excelled above her, yet she was never willing to do the work to bring herself up.  

 

She just tore others down and, in her mind, that lifted her up.  Too bad she was such an awful person (in other ways as well) because she was fairly bright and had the ability to do better.  Yet, she chose to just be jealous of others instead.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,344
Registered: ‎03-14-2015

Re: Why are some women so vicious to other women at work?


151949 wrote:

Plaid Pants2 wrote:

Sometimes it doesn't matter what you do, they will still find a way to get under your skin.

 

 

You try to be nice, and they see it as a weakness.

 

 

You try to stand up for yourself, and they see it as a challenge.

 

 

You try to ignore, and they up the harassment, until you do break, because everybody has a breaking point, before you snap, and then they gloat that they got you to react.

 

You can try to ignore to the best of your abilities, but that does NOT give them a free pass to continually harass someone, and they will continue to harass until the person breaks.

 

 


I disagree with this - when you stand up to a bully - they back off.


 

 

 

Not always. 

 

 

Sometimes it makes them come after you even more, like, "How dare you stand up to me! Just who in the h*ll do you think you are!"

*Question Authority.
==============
*Pastor Neimoller
Honored Contributor
Posts: 13,343
Registered: ‎05-23-2010

Re: Why are some women so vicious to other women at work?

In my working life, I never had to deal continuously with women who were using the s** card, as most of my supervisors and dept heads were women, and one who was male would not have been affected by a s*xy woman, lol.

 

However, through most of my working life, I have worked with women who were control freaks and needed all those around them to "do it their way."

 

The las 18 years I worked was, I often said, more of a snake pit than anywhere else I'd ever worked. Nearly every female co-worker was a control freak and/or an Alpha Top Female type, or a combination of both. They HAD to be in charge - in a setting where by our job classifications and qualifications we were all equal in the eyes of the company.

 

I was never so happy to leave anywhere in my life.

Life without Mexican food is no life at all
Frequent Contributor
Posts: 146
Registered: ‎07-11-2010

Re: Why are some women so vicious to other women at work?

Yes, I have experienced it over the years. Personally think it is character and the need to control.  Don't let it get in your way, be a moving target--they are not worth the distress!

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