03-17-2017 08:51 PM
Basically, women see each other as a threat and as competition.
I would much rather work exclusively with men, than with women.
Basically, when it comes to working with women, watch your back.
At least with men, they will (generally) tell you that they are going to scr*w you over.
They'll smile as they stab you in your back.
03-17-2017 08:56 PM - edited 03-17-2017 08:57 PM
Okay, this is strange. I can't recall even one work-related problem between women ... in my entire career!
Hmm. Maybe I have amnesia?
03-17-2017 08:59 PM
Thanks, everyone, for your kind words of support and understanding. I didn't go into details about what happened today because I thought the story was too long for a posting on a forum. Basically, I was totally back-stabbed in an intentionally hurtful manner---and in a completely unjustified way (she lied in her backstabbing, too).
I am watching Denim & Co right now. That should get my mind off of things, right? LOL
03-17-2017 09:13 PM
This isn't just in the work place. My daughter aways telling me who there are always other females causing c**p with her. I didn't really believe her. I thought why would anybody do that. Well I was at the Dr office with her and there were some girls probably in Thier 20's giving her some seriously dirty looks. I asked her if she knew them and she said no. So I believe her now.
I know this is rude but how do you know those girls weren't giving you the looks or even who they were giving the looks too?
03-17-2017 09:14 PM
My old boss said to me "It took me 10 years to get where I am and don't think you're going to get there any sooner girl".
Still remember that and in her office. It will never change, the need for attention, dominance, competition, is just the way it will be.
03-17-2017 09:30 PM - edited 03-17-2017 09:36 PM
Why do women have to be vicious to other women not only at work but in life as well, even within famllies, I just do not understand it at all?
Women face enough challenges in life without having to be attacked by other women, is it jealousy, feeling threatened, or it is some women are just not happy if they cannot be, so make everyone else miserable, I will never understand it?
03-17-2017 09:36 PM
It all starts with the management. It should not be tolerated and when someone is hired on they should be told it is not tolerated and you will be fired. It kills moral. I was personally in this kind of environment. It was terrible. One woman tried to put two other woman against each other by telling each lies that that were said about them. Before I got sick and ended up on disability I was in tears on a daily bases it was so bad. My supervisor would always tell me not to worry what others think. Really when they are making fun of you. And I had s job where I had to show the clerks if they made a error. Oh man I was as nice as can be and was talked to so rude.
03-17-2017 09:37 PM
I have no theory ... it's never happened to me. I worked for almost 50 years ... all of them with other women in the department, and for quite a few years I had female bosses.
I worked in a variety of corporations, law offices and government offices. They were professional environments. I don't recall any conflicts at all.
03-17-2017 09:37 PM
I have seen it and I have experienced it. Neither situation is pleasant and I do understand how you feel.
Some of the other posters have hit the nail on the head as to why some women act that way. I think why it happens doesn’t matter so much as to how you handle it. If this instance is atypical for this person, then I would shrug it off as she was just having a bad day. If it’s a pattern with this person, you might want to come up with a strategy on how to deal with it the next time.
Was it a verbal attack of some sort? If so, try to come up with a come-back line to have in your hip pocket ready for use for the next time. For instance, “That’s an interesting comment/question. I’m curious as to why you say/ask that.” If it’s a peer or colleague that does this, I also would discuss it with your manager.
If it’s your manager and it’s a pattern, could you suggest something to her in private such as “We seem to have a misunderstanding about “xxxxx”. I’m wondering if we can set up a time to chat about it.” You can then tell her when you meet what would be helpful to you with regards to receiving constructive criticism. As a manager, I took a class in positive feedback. I used this approach on an aggressive, head-strong direct report and it worked quite well. If you try this tactic but it doesn’t help, you can then suggest engaging HR to see if they can help resolve the conflict between you. Every situation and personality is different though and I am not an expert!
Not knowing the details of this situation, it’s a little hard to offer up good suggestions. But, no matter the who or what though with this, if this person has done something that is really out of line then you might want to consider going straight to HR now. Maybe there are some HR folks here that might have better advice for the dicey situation. Hugs to you though, and good luck! Have a great weekend!
03-17-2017 09:45 PM
@Goldengate8361 I can relate to you totally. Fortunately in my situation the Boss over our Div realized what was going on - I was oblivious.
However, don't let it ruin your weekend go in Mon renewed, healthy and keep happy. Hard I know but do not lose yourself.
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