03-19-2017 06:19 PM
Plaid Pants2 wrote:
Sometimes it doesn't matter what you do, they will still find a way to get under your skin.
You try to be nice, and they see it as a weakness.
You try to stand up for yourself, and they see it as a challenge.
You try to ignore, and they up the harassment, until you do break, because everybody has a breaking point, before you snap, and then they gloat that they got you to react.
You can try to ignore to the best of your abilities, but that does NOT give them a free pass to continually harass someone, and they will continue to harass until the person breaks.
I disagree with this - when you stand up to a bully - they back off.
Not all back off. Some bullies seem to thrive on a challenge and do even more. Depends on the person. Some get their friends involved & try to involve yours.
I've had that happen here, on these forums. Speaking out against bullying, baiting, trolling and not reacting by being appropriately chastised or appearing crushed, I've had it six ways from Sunday on here in the past. Including several "brand new" posters who theoretically shouldn't know me from Adam or have any opinion - which I calmly pointed out. And they never posted again. Hmmmm...... I'm still here. When people practically announce, by their clumsiness and obviousness, that they are out to get you, it just becomes funny to me. Yes, and, dear?
03-20-2017 05:16 PM - edited 03-20-2017 05:20 PM
I've wondered the same thing goldengate. Back in 2004, this woman, whom I will call "Sharon," called me at work and asked if I was interested in applying for this job that opened up in her office. It would be a promotion, so I said 'yes.' She told me when the position would open, but I was in the middle of finishing my degree, so I told her that I was planning on taking a leave of absence to finish my degree. I was graduating that fall.
So, fast forward to after graduation, one of my co-workers called me and said that Sharon called looking for me and wondered if I was back. They were about to post the position and wanted to make sure I applied for the job.
I ended up applying for the job and got the promotion. I was looking forward to working with these 3 women who had been at their jobs for many years and were knowledgeble. I knew I was in good hands. WRONG!
After I started working with them, they mistreated me. They treated me like a 2nd class citizen. I was nothing more than their whipping boy. My immediate supervisor was supposed to train me. Instead, she had me sit with all three of them, and instead of training me, they had me study from a continuity book, and they would give me scenarios and ask me how to solve the problem. You can't really solve a problem you haven't been trained for. When I didn't know the answer, they would threatened me. I was in a training position, and if I performed satisfactorily, I would get the next promo. They would threaten me that I wasn't going to get promoted if I didn't know the answers to their quizzes. It was so stressful, and no matter how hard I tried, I never satisifed them.
I finally got the 2nd promotion. Shortly after that, I moved from one office to another. Apparently, Sharon complained that we couldn't get along, so they moved me. I was angry at first, but it turned out to be a blessing! I've since gotten 2 more promotions while Sharon retired.
Sorry for the long response, but your question hit home.
03-22-2017 11:31 AM
You can blame whoever you want for the viciousness of some women in the workplace but the truth of the matter is we all have choices and we should take resoinsibility for them. Viciousness is a choice of insecure individuals and they make their choices like everyone else. If your manager were the devil herself, the choice of your actions is still up to you.
03-22-2017 11:54 AM
i may be asking for trouble in posting this and my opinion has come from working as a temp for almost 10 years. I have worked for both men and women during this time and have learned a lot. I have excelled at my job at every assignmement and the fallout has been very simply this: Give me a male boss any day of the week. Why? I have found women bosses threatened and even my co-workers threatened by the fact that I did an outstanding job. I was never interested in a full time position, something I made clear to everyone, yet I had been told by a regular employee that I was "making them look bad." I simply stated that if they had a problem with the way I did my job, they should complain to the boss. My boss at the time was a man known for his fairness and respect for his employees.If my boss had been a woman I would not have been so eager to reply as I did. I knew from prior experience that she would not have been on my side. Women in the workplace can be smallminded, envious, and downright dangerous in sabotaging ones position if they choose to do so. All I do is the best job I can for anyone in charge but women bosses don't seem to notice. Why?
03-22-2017 12:09 PM
I am with you 1000%. It seems that women are born with a bitchiness that men don't have.
I think it has a lot more to do with individual personalities than it has to do with gender.
Men may just be a lot more subtle about it but they are really no different than women are if you come across a you know what.....
03-22-2017 02:11 PM
I don't get it! Women should support other women, but some women are incredibly vicious, back-stabbing, and malicious to other women at work. I experinced this today and I'm having a really hard time shaking it off. (1) have others of you seen this in the workplace---and (2) what's your theory about why this happens?
I also wouldn't waste time and energy trying to figure out these individuals. Suffice to say, everyone has issues and their own sh*t to deal with and oftentimes it spills out into the workplace.
A few extremely valuable m.o.'s I learned to help me cope in the workplace with all kinds of behavior. I guarantee you it works!
1) Don't get too friendly with people.
2) Don't engage in gossip and stay far from the gossip circles.
3) Above all, remember you are at work for a purpose (assumedly to pay the bills).
4) Keep a smile on your face at all times, even in the face of nastiness.
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