Among Friends

[CelticCrafter]

@Hayfield at first I thought it was going to be a big and hard adjustment for me because I had been a stay at home mom and wife for 28 years, set in my ways and routine.

One day a week I do what I want, one day he does what he wants and then one day we do something together.

So far, so good!

[151949]

The OP's friend needs to be telling her husband her feelings instead of her girlfriend.It never ceases to amaze me how many husband and wives just don't communicate. You have your most intimate relationship with this person - why can't you talk to him as well ?

[ALRATIBA]

Me.  My decision only and was based on finances.  I worked until I was in a position to have a comfortable retirement.

[NYC Susan]

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@ccassaday wrote:

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@DiAnne wrote:

I never worked when I was married.  I am now divorced so it was my decision.  I loved my job, my boss and most of my coworkers so it was a hard choice to make.  Being retired was fun for about three months and then I was very bored.  I don't know how people sit around all day and watch TV, etc.  Cleaning house does not give me a thrill.  I do like to garden but where I live that is only about a 4 month a year hobby.  I now volunteer, take classes, meet friends for lunch, dinner and movies, go to plays, have dinner parties, take cooking lessons - it is a lot of work to have fun!!

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I don't think everyone sits around and watches tv who is retired. My dad is going to have so many projects to work on when he retires in June on the new house. Landscaping, finishing the basement, doing the lockers in the mud room area. Some people like to travel. There are lots of things you can do besides siting around and getting old.

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Absolutely!  I know many people who are retired - from a friend in her 30's all the way up to my Dad's brother who is 93.  The majority are in their 50's and 60's.  None of them sit around and watch TV all day.  All of them are busy with activities that they enjoy.  I've never heard of anyone (other than here) talk about retirement being boring or having to work hard to find things to do.  Everyone I know (includig myself) loves being retired!

[halfpint1]

The company did-everyone at 60 for dh

My son had to-He got hurt on the job. They put him doing something else for awhile but the city co uldn't find him another job. I guess for the money he was making and aptitude. He is 58. It was this year.

[AuntG]

My DH is in total agreement with my plan to retire at 59 1/2.  He wants to keep working, but I've always been a homebody and look forward to leaving after nearly four decades working for the same company.

[Happiness Is Inside JOB]

I pray for health that I can continue to work and I pray that I will be able to make my own deicison.  I plan to work as long as I can considering I can telework two days a week.  For the original poster, some marriages the husbands make ALL the decisions and it has been like that from day one so all the advice and comments in the world won't change how the "couple" does their affairs.  I would not be surprised if the original poster deposits her entire salary in his account for spending also. That is how it was in the "old" days.

[SeaMaiden]

If you have been married for a long time, I think it is best for it to be a joint decision.   Sounds like this couple need to go together and have a sit down meeting with a financial planner.  It can clarify things and spell everything out.  My husband is retiring in June.  I was worried about it, but, talking to a financial planer together calmed my nerves knowing that we will be just fine. Seeing the whole picture.  

[MarieIG]

It will be a joint decision for both of us. We are both work long hours, at high stress jobs and are exhausted.  He would let me stop first but it doesn't seem fair as his job is more physical.  

[hckynut]

@hoosieroriginal

We were a couple for 20 years when I retired. Not married for another 10 years. Was 100% my decision, and would have been had we been married. She did what was best for her when it came to her jobs, as did I.

We had/have always had an understanding that we both would live our lives as individuals when it came to how we wanted to live our social/financial, and other decisions made for ourselves. Sure we spoke about them, as does and should anyone in an equal relationship or marriage. From there the person most directly effected by their choice, have always made their own final decision?

Has worked well for us for over 45+ years together, so "if it ain't broke, it don't need fixin".

hckynut(john)