Among Friends

[Katcat1]

One of the relatives should invite everyone over and everyone should bring a dish.  This way you can have a bite to eat and sit around and chat.  

[chrystaltree]

Seems like a bunch of childish people in your family.  My dad was from GA and when his aunts and cousins visited; they alternated between staying with the MA relatives and the NYC relatives.  So, whoever was hosting them for that visit held a big family event for the other relatives and we'd all travel there.  It was like a family reunion.  Obviously, they couldn't drive around NY and MA visiting everyone.  We came to them. 

[ROMARY]

When I was the driver, I would stop at the eldest relative's house, for another quick goodbye.  I still recall how happy it made that dear person.    Sort of a good luck feeling. 

[missy1]

They know when you are coming. If they want to see you, then they will.  (even if it's for an hour)

Or tell them all you will be at this restaurant at this time. You all meet there.

[AJW]

This happens to my husband & I when we visit the UK.  As Brits we have friends and family all over the country and we could spend every day of our trips visiting them.  We decided to arrange a group meeting place, as convenient as possible for everyone.  This worked well for us.  The people we wanted to see the most, we made those specific visits.  I dont think people really think about this, and are just inviting you to visit without envisioning how it affects your vacation.  

I hope this helps you.  

[151949]

Each year when we get here for the summer my SIL has a big cook out and we get to see many family & friends there.If it weren't for her there would alwsys be some we'd miss.

[sunshine45]

when we dont have time to visit everyone, we handle it two ways.......

ONE......we visit the ones who are older FIRST......that is pretty much a standard ritual in our culture.

TWO......if we can, we invite everyone out to dinner so that we can spend time with EVERYONE......or at least as many as we can.

[Vivian]

Everyone in my family lives in a different state. My 74 year old husband was diagnosed with mild cognitive impairment two years ago. Nevertheless, my 95 year old mother asks me incessantly to visit, a five hour car trip. I know my mother is lonely and bored but I have enough on my plate right now. I promised her I'd visit this summer (my last visit was just a few weeks ago) yet after we returned from our one-week vacation in Québec, the only time my husband and I get away all year, the first thing my mother asked us when we returned was when were coming to see her. She called me anywhere from two to four times each day while we were away. If I shut my phone she just continued calling until she got through. I begged her to stop but she said she couldn't help it.

I know I will miss Mom terribly when she's gone yet she makes me feel guilty with every conversation. Eighty per cent of people with my husband's cognitive condition develop dementia within five years of diagnosis. This year's vacation might be our last. Mom has a 24/7 aide now, whom she really likes, after having three mini strokes. Mom's mobility is very limited, as is her stamina, so going out and about are no longer possible for her. My brother lives 20 minutes from my mother but he has an awful commute each day and is only available to our mother on weekends. Besides, they don't get along all that well. I am definitely "it." I just wish my mother would be more understanding of the predicament she's creating.