Among Friends

[birdQ13]

It’s an old question with no easy answer. I worry about dear sister and she will not pursue mild, caring entreaties to talk to counselor. My imagination about her troubles spirals into fear then anger about her immediate family. In our late 50’s- it is her life. But so hard to see people suffer when they need professional help.

[Love my grandkids]

@birdQ13 You can't force an intervention, no matter how worried you are.

It's her life, if she chooses to get help or not, no amount of your fussing at her or reminding her is going to help.

Maybe you should take a break for awhile since you seem so upset that she isn't "listening" to you. 

[ECBG]

Although, we love someone, we can't "make" them do anything, and although, it hurts us, we don't have the "right" to demand anyone do anything.  We all have freedom of choice, and she may not want to start waves with change.

Some people want to repeat the same story over and over,  but want a magic potion that doesn't exist which is sad.  We have to accept, even though it is a shame.

You might visit a counselor to free yourself a little so you can accept her choices.

So sorry.

[birdQ13]

Yes I might benefit from a dose of my own medicine. Short of someone verbally threatening suicide my fear that they might be capable is hard to measure or prove.

[Lucky Charm]

@birdQ13   I feel your worries are valid.  And in the event of something as catastrophic as suicide, it would be a shame to not seek some sort of help for her.  Or at the very least to suggest your fears to her. 

I could not *butt out* of something like that as hard as it seems to otherwise --avoid the confrontation.

Your heart is in the right place.

[DottieBlue]

@birdQ13

Perhaps you could go see a counselor about the situation with you and your sister.  She may be able to guide you on how to approach your sister and ways to help her.

Perhaps if your sister even knew that you are so worried about her that YOU sought help by talking with a professional, it might affect her to the point  where she will talk with a professional also.

Good luck and take care.

[cbrite]

Can you do a Welfare Check on her? 

[GCR18]

Intervene.  If you don't and something bad happens, could you live with yourself?  My sister needed intervention.  I treaded lightly.  Long story short, she finally agreed to get help.  We lost valuable time.  The situation was way worse than we could have ever imagined.  If I knew then what I know now, the story would have had a happy ending.

[Foxxee]

Have no idea what her problem is, but if it's life threatening and no one else cares to help, as a sister, then I think you can give yourself permission to intervene.

I know some people who were sorry later after a loved one died because they didn't think it was their business to get involved. 

If it doesn't work, at least you won't live with the guilt knowing you tried.